hello,
well, i'm about to enter into another whine, so for those of you who have little patience with such things, i suggest you stop reading now. it bothers me that it's come to this...whining on a message board about ethereal worries when there are people starving every day and others being slaughtered by idiotic racist warlords. i know it's all relative and everything but still...i sometimes wonder if i wouldn't have flourished if i were born in a country not so smug and comfortable as canada. anyway...let the whining commence...
i feel utterly miserable and out of my mind. i mean, right now, craziness sounds like bliss. the idea of sitting in a bed, stuffing my brain with drugs, and giggling moronically at bugs bunny cartoons, while beautiful nurses wait on me, seems very appealing to me. this is the true horror...this state of anxiety...this wasteland purgatory between sanity and insanity...struggling every moment of every day trying to keep a grip while life whisks by with the speed of a bullet. forcing smiles...forcing excuses...forcing lies...like a ticking time bomb that will rust and rot before it ever explodes. arduous existence...rife with misery with sudden pulses of pain and anguish and horrible thoughts. in case this is at all ambiguous, let me assure you, this is a cry for help.
i'm very grateful for this message board, as i'm sure everyone else is...i'm not sure what i'd do without this outlet at this point in time. i can't imagine what it was like years ago when there was scant information on this disorder...i can't even remember how i'd coped before, all those years ago.
as i write this, Manic Monday is playing on my work radio...indeed. it's all just so bloody hysterical.
s.
well, i'm about to enter into another whine, so for those of you who have little patience with such things, i suggest you stop reading now. it bothers me that it's come to this...whining on a message board about ethereal worries when there are people starving every day and others being slaughtered by idiotic racist warlords. i know it's all relative and everything but still...i sometimes wonder if i wouldn't have flourished if i were born in a country not so smug and comfortable as canada. anyway...let the whining commence...
i feel utterly miserable and out of my mind. i mean, right now, craziness sounds like bliss. the idea of sitting in a bed, stuffing my brain with drugs, and giggling moronically at bugs bunny cartoons, while beautiful nurses wait on me, seems very appealing to me. this is the true horror...this state of anxiety...this wasteland purgatory between sanity and insanity...struggling every moment of every day trying to keep a grip while life whisks by with the speed of a bullet. forcing smiles...forcing excuses...forcing lies...like a ticking time bomb that will rust and rot before it ever explodes. arduous existence...rife with misery with sudden pulses of pain and anguish and horrible thoughts. in case this is at all ambiguous, let me assure you, this is a cry for help.
i'm very grateful for this message board, as i'm sure everyone else is...i'm not sure what i'd do without this outlet at this point in time. i can't imagine what it was like years ago when there was scant information on this disorder...i can't even remember how i'd coped before, all those years ago.
as i write this, Manic Monday is playing on my work radio...indeed. it's all just so bloody hysterical.
s.
