venting some

It feels like my world is flat. I don't connect to my body. I constantly question if I'm really here, or if this is all just a dream. I question my existence and why we are here. I wonder how I keep doing things when I feel so detached from my body. It really freaks me out when I think about what I am doing and how I am this consciousness inside of a body going about my day, and it feels so hard to put into words this experience. Will it ever stop? I wish I could know, although I don't know what difference it makes. Either way I have to keep going and reaching out. I want to go back to feeling normal again. It's so frusterating and confusing and scary, and sometimes feels so unfair! I feel like I'm a good person, so why this torture? I don't want to go crazy, to feel crazy, or to fear that I'm going crazy anymore. No matter how much I tell myself I'm not... I just can't believe it 100% when I question my existence all day long no matter what I'm doing or how much I try to distract myself. Man it sucks.. and I hope there is some great big reward for having experienced this because we all deserve it.