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Venting (caution)

957 Views 6 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  shadowness
Venting time, - you should have a venting section here, I would be the queen.

You can put this on another topic if you want.


I just went from my psychiatrist...... I hate him so much, so much. He is not aware of dp meds, in fact he doesn't care about meds at all. He mants me to take like 40-50 mg of Paxil and he said that Effexor is supposed to work on depression only at 225 mg (not!) He wanted me to take Effexor but I can't stand 37,5 mg how can I stand 225 mg. Is he crazy or what?

He is tired of me and I am tired of him. He doesn't want me to heal or what?

Why just 2 dp units exists on the world and why am I so angry at people like that? Why don't docs understand here and why am I so sad? And I can't see another one, I am fed up!!!!!!!!!!

He wants me to take klono? Then I will take it. Go go go let's take 10 klono and be happy! :shock:

He doesn't want me to take Lamictal (even smallest doses) for now, because he wants me to be stable on Paxil before. :shock:

Sorry I am very sad and angry and fed up and I don't want to see anyone. Nobody can help me. I feel afraid of me, of my life.

That is my reality, not yours. :x

Sorry for this post - I am utterly stressed, it's always like that when I am going to my psychiatrist. I come back clueless, angry, frustrated and I want to kill someone (don't worry I won't!) My frustration is upgrading since 2 years.... always the same fucking patttern..... feeling afraid, having to choose a fucking med, going to the psychiatrist each week and seing his boring face who doesn't have a cue about meds I talk about, feeling of being such a looser in front of everybody even you because I can't stand meds, feeling of sadness then despair because I HATE my life like that, no motivation at all, always doing crisis, always coming back home and feeling blue and afraid of what???? Of my life, my boyfriend, etc. Then seing my boyfriend upset at me, yelling at each other because I am so angry at everything and feel so dp/dr that I don't talk, crying after, then taking klono and feeling bored and wanting to sleep. Repeat.

What a stupid me. What a stupid life. Always trying the same things, same meds, stopping..... wow I am so stupid. And my sadness and despair who are so high I want to cease to exist. And forget all.

I feel that my nervous system is at HIGH every time of the day, except when I sleep. more than HIGH.

And when I stop meds, it's worse (can it be?)

I feel alone in my country with no real help for this.

Thanks, I needed to vent.

Cynthia xxx
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Cyn, you are not alone in Canada. You have me and all of us here. I totally understand your frustration... I've been there. I was there for 10 years. The psych I am currently seeing does not think I have DP. She thinks I have a rare form of schizophrenia! But, whatever she may call it, as long as she is aware of my symptoms, she should know how to treat them. So, I am OK with labels such as schizophrenia. Cynthia, do not let the medical system get you down. I know first hand how incredibly frustrating the system is. Do not let it win. You should realize it is up to YOU and only you to help yourself. Do not rely on the system. YOU know what's best for yourself. YOU know what you need. Listen to your body and your mind. Take control of this situation.
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