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I'm now on 37.5mg xl (extended release) a day. This is much better than the 75mg every other day (my psychiatrist doesn't really seem to have a clue sometimes). The side effects are fairly minimal at this point. Every other antidepressant I've been on has totally spaced me out. This one seems to be working more on the depression than the anxiety, although they are totally linked in my case. This is very early days but I'm hopeful (as always). I feel the depression lifting a bit already but it could just be the early activating effect of starting a new antidepressant.
Something I hate with depersonalisation is the feeling that my limbs are not my own, that they are somehow visible but I don't feel them as part of me. This gets worse as my anxiety increases and it is worse at the moment. I'm hopeful this will settle over the next week though as my system gets used to this low dose of the medication. I might raise the dose at the weekend or maybe wait another week. Will see how it goes.
BTW I'm living a "fully functional" life at the moment - working full time, engaging in social get togethers etc. So technically I'm not completely disabled by the condition but, to me, it is very disabling. When I talk to someone, I just don't feel like it is happening at all. I find any kind of communication extremely uncomfortable. I'm lonely because I can't connect with anyone. I'm stuck in a job I despise because it has no real human interaction but I don't feel able to have a job with interaction because the stress will be too great. I'm a really social person but feel cut off. That is the main reason for my depression and the depression is feeding the depersonalisation by making me give up and have no motivation to do anything. Hence the drugs. Fingers crossed.
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