Vegas

Hey all,

For those who read my previous post you know that I went to Vegas a couple days ago and I've just now returned - originally my worry was that I would get hit with DP real bad, but I didn't and I thought I would share my thoughts on the experience. Don't judge me personally on my experiences there, I'm only posting to note that things didn't go as bad and my thoughts on maybe why!

My theory on life has always been work hard and party hard, and so I've always had kind of a trouble-maker streak in me (I've never stolen anything or done anything destructive, so, nothing troubled like that). I had gone down to Vegas for a sofware conference (as I'm a software developer) and during the day did the normal business stuff and met people, fixed a couple software bugs in our product, et al. When night came I decided I would try my hardest to get out of my head and just live.

I found that as I would sit and just talk with people I knew I would sometimes get the occasional DP experience, only slightly, but it would come and go. If I got up and started walking around to talk to people, or sat down to play roulette (my game), I would almost certainly lose the DP sensation and kind of get swept up in the moment - so, it seems, that doing something that didn't totally engage my mind brought back the DP - talking with someone I already knew, or just "BS'ing" with someone I knew.

My mind was engaged in the moment - which was very strange for me, but I enjoyed it. I won $250.00, got the phone number of a stripper (yes, it's true - if you want the whole story email me [[email protected]] me and I'll tell ya cause it's funny), kind of made a mess of the town with some friends I met from England (which I have been to several times and know a bit about) and, well, I'll reserve the rest 'cause I don't want to offend anyone...(I didn't pay for any sex! So don't think that!)

But the point is that I actually had a couple moments where the DP started to come back and I was able to actively PUSH it away by engaging, heavily, in the moment. I have since come back from Vegas (I live in Nebraska) and have had a fairly good day without much DP - and even pushed it back a couple times when it did come back. I got back, picked up my stratocaster and started playing rock/blues again - which I have been slowly getting back into - I might even get some guys together again to play.

The world is a strange, bizarre place. Who knows why were here and we have no certainty that we really exist and that things are the way they seem - in fact, if you follow physics and science - you know that things AREN'T the way they seem. But, I'm starting to wonder if the possible right direction for me, and maybe for others, is to engage ourselves in the world as much as possible - like we all have said, but I'm here to confirm it worked for me, at least for one night. My guess is that we're all introverts, or at least spend as much time in our heads as on the outside - and if you talk to anyone, you can corner each and everyone of them with the things we think about - but they just don't seem anxious about it. We do because we feel stuck there, stuck in this world of those nagging thoughts and worries and anxieties.

God it's not easy and man it's scarey - but I think we all have hope. I found hope with a night in Vegas - maybe it IS out there.