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I truly believe I have forgotten what it means to be alive. I've been thinking non-stop obsessively for 3 months about my condition, that whenever I have a moment of silence and and stillness, I feel as if I'm doing myself a disservice. I've dissociated to the point of no return. my eyes look around but my mind cannot take in what I see. I feel as if I'm a spiritual being hovering above myself just waiting for the moment to be free. I think about suicide constantly but can never muster the strength to do it. I have no will to live anymore, the very act of breathing makes me nauseous. Hopefully when I go to a psychiatrist tomorrow I can start a road to recovery, but even that thought seems hopeless and illusionary.
 

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im same place than you. but i have been here longer than you. im wating the day when someone take me away from this earth. noone would like to live this kind of disconnection. i will much more die and born again. im sick of being me. im sick of these people here. but im too afraid of dead. what if this is my destiny. and ill never get back my soul.
 
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