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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Lately I am experiencing something which I cannot really understand. For the sake of clarity a short story of what happened to me the last eight months. I am a hardworking student who was doing his masters in supply chain management and I had a girlfriend abroad. Life was pretty good, although I had to work really hard because I wanted to get my degree in a year so I could move to my girlfriend, so those times were really stressfull, but I was able to cope. One day I decided to take shrooms, had a really bad trip, panicked and two weeks later got another panick attack triggered by the idea that the shrooms did something to my brain forever, just pure panic, anxiety and stress. Then started the researching, ruminating and dwelling on 'what might be wrong with me', I did not understand. I thought i had everything from anxiety disorder to schizophrenia. Due to all the anxiety and stress got into DR upto the point where basically my whole world looked strange. I slept bad and just felt tense constantly and was really worried. In the meanwhile i stopped studying, broke up with my girlfriend and basically sitting at home doing all kinds of things, from watching tv, gaming, cooking, cleaning, working in the garding. However, I feel I should do something, think and work on my career, but somehow i cant put myself to it. Anyway, at the moment the visual aspect is much better, but i am experiencing other weird symptoms which confuse me:

Music just keeps repeating in my head. Songs I hear, or which are triggered by memories -> I guess i focus too much on it, and because I want to control it, my focus keeps on the music (I am fighting it). Currently I replaced it with this thought: It is nicer to have music in your head then terrible thoughts

Something similar applies to hearing parts of conversations and talks I had or heared that day or other times in my head. First I freaked out and thought I had voices in my head. However, I do not hear them, I know I am the source and it is just random words or parts of sentences which are characteristic for the people with whom I had these conversations (like how they say certain things, difficult to explain).

These two 'things' I can rationalize and see as something which happens in my mind and which are not under my control. However, because I am so stressed and anxious/worried I am much more focused on what is going on in my head. So, I try to pay as little attention to it as possible.

A symptom which is causing me much more distress lately is that I seem to get these 'sadness attacks'. Out of the blue I start feeling sad/weird/like I want to cry for about 20 to 30 minutes, my head starts pounding, head hurts, I get dizzy and start ruminating. Then, it slowly diminishes and i get very tired and sleepy. I am trying to control this feeling. It leaves me feeling bewilderd because I do not understand what is happening to me. It leaves me to draw quick conclusions (based on internet research......). Bipolar or depressed and I really do not want to have either one of them. On the other hand, it also sounds like a panic/anxiety attack. My question(s) to you:

- do you recognize it? Would you attribute it to anxiety/stress/ruminating. My psychologist says it does

- how do you handle/deal with it

Hope you guys can help me out. Thanks!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Bill and Selig, thanks for your reply! Well, like i mentioned, these attacks, they usually start out of the blue or are triggered by small things, like a thought, (especially) frustration or a sad thing on the news, tv, movie or whatever. It is like I am overly sensitive to things. I always have been a little bit sensitive/emotional but it seems to be more intense. The thing is, the last thing I want is feeling sad, nervous, tense, angry or frustrated. I have felt like this for over 8 months now and I want to feel better. I fight it, I try to control it. I want to cry, because I know I will release the tension, but somehow I cannot cry. A reasonable explanation would be that due to all the tension, my nervous system is higly sensitive and therefore emotions feel more intense than in a normal state.

I also sometimes have moments in which I ask myself, what the hell am I worrying about these are all normal things and are a part of life, then I feel good for a while and then I slowly get back into the worrying again.

Selig, I agree with you that our minds are overactive. Atleast, that is how it feels sometimes. Guess it is because they are extremely worn out by all the ruminating, thinking and stress
 
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A symptom which is causing me much more distress lately is that I seem to get these 'sadness attacks'. Out of the blue I start feeling sad/weird/like I want to cry for about 20 to 30 minutes, my head starts pounding, head hurts, I get dizzy and start ruminating. Then, it slowly diminishes and i get very tired and sleepy. I am trying to control this feeling. It leaves me feeling bewilderd because I do not understand what is happening to me. It leaves me to draw quick conclusions (based on internet research......). Bipolar or depressed and I really do not want to have either one of them. On the other hand, it also sounds like a panic/anxiety attack. My question(s) to you:

- do you recognize it? Would you attribute it to anxiety/stress/ruminating. My psychologist says it does

- how do you handle/deal with it

Hope you guys can help me out. Thanks!
I just wanted to say something about the sadness you're experiencing... It's sadness inside you.We've all got sadness inside. Why are you trying to control it and stop it? It's a part of you. Let it out. Find out what it is that's making you sad. Why are you sad at times? It won't last forever.

The thing that I find strange is.. when people are sad, we assume there's something wrong. And worse still a lot of doctors try and 'fix' the sadness and stop it with a pill. But sadness is a normal human emotion. It's natural. And crying and sobbing is a way for our body to release it.

Sadness is sadness. It doesn't mean your bi-polar or crazy or anything. It means you're human and you're purging something inside. It's better out than in believe me!

When your having a period of sadness.. try and focus on why your sad. Sometimes you can learn a lot about yourself if you 'listen' to what's going on. People can get sad over a long period for a lot of reasons. The death of people close to us can lead to years of sadness for instance. Sometimes we can 'see' why we're sad, sometimes we can't. It's ok either way. You don't HAVE to know. The main thing is to let your body do what it needs to do to process the sadness and move on… That's why we cry and sob.
 
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This is quite a similar story to me, its a bit of a relief to read someone else has experienced similar symptoms! Message me if you want, because as I say this is very much like reading what happened to me, but mine was less severe
 
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