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Ultimate doubt and insecurity

1892 Views 9 Replies 3 Participants Last post by  Martinelv
Not confident or sure. Not firm or set or safe.

The ultimate insecurity comes with the thought that nothing is guaranteed. Not your life, not your happiness or well being. Not even meaning is guaranteed. Some will find solace in religion, some will find solace in sex, drugs, alcohol, and some will never be comfortable at all. How can I be secure when I doubt the very skin, organs, brain, and bones that comprise my physical entity?

How can I ever be ok, when I feel like a biological machine, determined by natural laws, chemicals, and neurotransmitters ?

We all have ways of getting over this quivering mass of confusion, ambiguity, and insecurity. Some need to devote themselves to a cause to achieve order, sense, and immortality. Some have faith that existence does not end with the physical body. The reason why I'm posting this in this forum because I believe this problem is one that is fundamentally about faith. Either we have faith in our mastery of life; An ability to create meaning, sense, and order where there originally was none, therefore living a purposeful life, Or we have faith in God.

I don't feel as if i'm capable of having faith. I don't have faith that life is reason enough and will redeem itself through simple enjoyment and momentary pleasures. I don't have faith in a God that allows evil, injustice, and senselessness. As a result, I can't believe in anything. And without faith, I'm nothing.

You're going to tell me to stop thinking so hard. You're going to tell me that my thoughts are the result of a chemical or psychological deficiency or disorder that impairs my ability to reason correctly, to see the whole picture. This is the only picture that I see. This is clear as day. I realize there are no immediate answers to any of these questions other than to simply forget about it and live life. Some can do that but I can't; I wish I could. I need a reason to wake up in the morning, to know that I'm not just a hunk of organic matter coming closer to the final exit that erases me completely.
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Thanks for the responses. I'd like to change my attitude, I don't enjoy being a miserable bastard. Its just that I feel like I need a reason to change. I don't believe in forced positive thinking, it seems false to me. Too many people who are depressed are told to simply be positive. Well I'd like to be positive, but explain to me why I should be positive. I have plenty of questions, but few answers. People would probably say to just ignore all the negative shit I focus on. It's hard for me to ignore something that is right in front of my face. I don't see the balance and harmony in the world that happy people do. Everything seems to be weighed more twoard mass suffering and confusion than understanding and satisfaction.
Just a joke. :wink:

If only I could be as positive and life affirming as you.
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