Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
8 Posts

i look at my son and wonder what life is going to be like for him growing up where mommy is screaming for no reason like someone is killing her at random times. I want to get better for myself as for my son. His father is bipolar and life is hard enough on him having one mentally ill parent. He doesn't need to wonder when daddy is going to get angry and freak out or when mommy is going to lose her mind. My fiance will never be truly better and can't work because of it, he has other mental problems that i really don't want to get into and is disabled, and im not saying anything is wrong with not being able to work but when i went into my psychiatrists office and was told i wouldn't be able to work a job because i'll be fired if i randomly start screaming having my panic attacks and not knowing where i am, i got upset. I mean seriously i scream bite kick trying to get myself back into what little reality i have left. The medication i take isn't really helping anymore and i hate going into stores with bright lights loud people, sometimes i hate going in my living room because the movement of the hallway triggers them. Right now my head is killing me again because last night i had a bad one. I could hear my fiance talking but i couldn't see him and he felt so far away. He was holding me. Alice was going down the rabbit hole again. Instead of a land of wonder it's a land of darkness and cold. I remember feeling the slip in my head and looking into his eyes and he went away. The strobe light in my head went off, that's what i call it, because everything flashes. sound, images, my thoughts...fuck
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Top