So I think i've started to realize a major problem, and I guess it could be described as two selves. In my mind, when I'm feeling very badly, I feel like there is my real self, and then the self that is thinking the bad thoughts and is basically doing all the thinking. It's like all of a sudden i sit up and think "what's my real self thinking right now?" I feel like I am outside my thoughts, viewing them, trying to analyze them. It is kind of scary, but at the same time I think its' a step in the right direction. To me this indicates that there is some sort of rift in me that is causing this dp and dr to occur, and that I need to reconcile the two selves together. It's weird, because recently i've felt both great and as shitty as can be (kind of what I mentioned in my last post.) It's like my real self is trying to push through, but i'm still trying to deflect it, with it's real feelings and experiences of everything. The only problem is that as this battle is beign waged in me, it kind of freaks me out. It is like I am trying to think about eveyrthing I'm thinking about. Does this make sense to anyone?