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Two Minds

666 Views 1 Reply 2 Participants Last post by  Sojourner
Does anyone ever feel like they have two minds...there is the one that is your everyday mind, that makes you ok...And then, there seems to be the part of the mind that constantly tells you how you are a failure, crazy, all of those things. I dunno...for the most part I feel ok...but then this other part of the mind shows up and makes me constantly wonder if I am crazy...any thoughts? I NEED HELP! :)
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I have something similar. In fact, tonight I think I had a psychological breakthrough. I have been diagnosed with BDD. Anyway, I usually feel like you said, pretty OK, and then there's this other me, which thinks I'm hideous looking. I've finally realized that when I get depressed, I think I'm 100% hideous -- totally forgetting and not believing that it's really 50% okay and 50% ugly. I see myself in two ways.

Well, amazingly, today I realized that neither one is a delusion!! This is major!! They are BOTH true. It probably sounds silly to someone who doesn't have BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder, see for more information), but we BDDers feel we're ugly and hideously deformed. The docs say it's a delusion. I felt it was simply the truth, not a delusion. But today, coming out of a deep depression, I realized that I really WAS having a delusion when I thought I was 100% hideous and got depressed. That's a delusion because I'm not 100% anything -- I'm 50% cute and 50% ugly, or 60%/40%, or another proportion.

So, analagously, you are not 100% pretty ok and then 100% thinking you may be crazy or going crazy. You are BOTH, in probably varying proportions over time. I fell into the snare of "black-or-white thinking" that said I had to be 100% of something. That's also called "all-or-nothing thinking." That's a delusion.

We are never 100% of anything -- we are a mixture! Maybe you're thinking you have to be 100% of whichever "you" comes "alive" at the moment? Is that possible, do you think?
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