[kknight]

Hi! i've been a lurker on here for quite some time. the past few months have been quite traumatic since my onset of DP/DR. i've started an antidepressant and my baseline anxiety has significantly reduced. i'm trying to use this to make lifestyle changes towards recovery and a lot of what i'm implementing is what i've gathered from recovery stories here and on reddit. for those who have recovered or are making progress, i'd reaaally appreciate if you could help me out.

when i try to distract myself, i'm really successful when i concentrate. i'm able to do so many things with focus. like really. it blows my mind how functional i am. but every few minutes, i get this MASSIVE wave of...DP/DR. like a billion thoughts in a second. "where am i? have i been herethis whole time? am i still lost? how did i forget about the world? and humans? and SKY? THIS HUGE SKY? AND SPACE? AND VASTNESS?..." and it goes on and on, until i say a mantra or apply SOME strategy and ground myself back. but it just happens so much, its painful. i think in some ways im constantly looking for signs and thoughts to check if im better. for some reason i cant let it go.. but also the periods im distracted and doing stuff, it feels like im unconscious or spaced out and when a wave of DP/DR comes, im convinced that i finally woke up and realized something im supposed to realise and always be aware of. does this make sense?

this is a big factor in why im not able to fully immerse myself back into my life. i would really appreciate any tips/advice on how to manage this

 

[Phantasm]

I have two strategies I use:

The first is reasoning, a cognitive approach, I suppose, where I really challenge and break down my obsessive thinking by asking what it has ever achieved, what good has it ever done, how has it ever helped me, what difference has it ever made? I break it down, and break it down again.

The second is more about the subconscious, which is far more direct than we realize. Simply ask yourself, without any conceptualization or visualization, how it feels to be mentally healthy and unencumbered. I use the trigger phrase, "already free." Don't be specific or get dragged into the mind, just get the feeling it's already a fact.

 

[Moral Support]

What I am learning in therapy is to say to myself: Thoughts are just thoughts. Let them float away on a cloud, or pretend they are leaves in a stream. It is not easy and it is a practice that I have to do many, many times a day, but slowly it is getting easier to let the thoughts go.

Also, just like Phantasm said, challenge your thoughts. Ask yourself "what do I get out of this?".

I think the key is practice, practice, practice, even if it is hundreds of times a day.