I never had a strong memory. In fact I always felt that my memory is the weaker among others when i was in school. It has always been a struggle for me to remember. Therefore i even developed a kinda avoidance behaviour of things that might require me to remember stuff. A good example would be when playing whatever game, say sports, I never keep the score in my mind cuz i HATE IT. I hate struggling to remember it. Then i have to pretend that i dont care whats the score 
, and i kinda learned to really not care about the score. Anyway. Of course, weak memory and that avoidance behaviour doesnt help you in education. So the same avoidance behaviour is also present when i need to do some intellectual work, like schoolwork, although currenly im not in school. By avoidance behaviour i refer to lack of ability to concentrate and focus on your task, BECAUSE IT POSES A RISK TO GET ANXIOUS, BECAUSE I AM AFRAID TO STRUGGLE OR FAIL. As we know, dp and anxiety is closely tied. So, its hard for us to concentrate, BECAUSE OUR MINDS ARE TRYING TO DEFEND US FROM ANXIETY. Thats my opinion. In addition, i think dp is like a defence state itself. Thats my theory i described to my psichiatrist. Its quite logical in my case, because at first i had an extreme anxiety and OCD, so the mind detached me from reality feeling because it was too depressing , shocking, stressful and so on.
, and i kinda learned to really not care about the score. Anyway. Of course, weak memory and that avoidance behaviour doesnt help you in education. So the same avoidance behaviour is also present when i need to do some intellectual work, like schoolwork, although currenly im not in school. By avoidance behaviour i refer to lack of ability to concentrate and focus on your task, BECAUSE IT POSES A RISK TO GET ANXIOUS, BECAUSE I AM AFRAID TO STRUGGLE OR FAIL. As we know, dp and anxiety is closely tied. So, its hard for us to concentrate, BECAUSE OUR MINDS ARE TRYING TO DEFEND US FROM ANXIETY. Thats my opinion. In addition, i think dp is like a defence state itself. Thats my theory i described to my psichiatrist. Its quite logical in my case, because at first i had an extreme anxiety and OCD, so the mind detached me from reality feeling because it was too depressing , shocking, stressful and so on.
