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14 Posts
Hey everyone. This is my first post on the forum as I really wanted to try stay off. But I need some help before I can officially remove all traces of DPDR and solipsism from my life.
First off I'd like to say: Yes I know solipsism is a philosophy and I know it's not a psychological condition. Nevertheless, the thought is debilitating.
Here we go:
I've been battling solipsism long before I even realized I had DPDR. Initially I was scared of 'being in a dream' but I was able to problem-solve my way through that. It's now almost 5 months of me trying to get rid of this obsession and its becoming relentless. There is no escape.
As most people on here will know, solipsism is the idea that only your mind exists, and that reality you perceive is just part of your imagination, including other people.
My fear of solipsism stems from the eternal loneliness and idea that I am alone, with no other conscious beings. Even as I am typing it I'm questioning whether any sentient being will actually read this. I used to get relief from reading about others with this solipsism obsession but now I just think how no one else is going through this because no one else is real and my own mind is just forming other people's stories -- perhaps to trick me into believing in other people's existence -- or perhaps just out of pure coincidence. -- Also, part of my fear stems from a horrific weed trip I had in which I past out and hallucinated, leading to thoughts about solipsism. (This was the trigger of my DPDR)
For some reason, my solipsism obsession disappeared entirely for a week when I went on holiday with my family. I was 100% convinced that my family was real and I was so incredibly happy. Even when I intentionally thought about solipsism, I thought it was bullshit. I was sure my girlfriend, my family, my friends were all real. -- I don't know how this happened, but it did.
After I got home, I relapsed and fell back into not believing in the existence and consciousness of my family and friends. Since then, I have adopted the mentality of "allowing the thoughts to be there". "Not agreeing and not disagreeing". "Allow the thoughts to pass" "stop ruminating". I did all of these things to no avail.
It's been a month of me just allowing the thoughts to pass, but I'm not getting any better with solipsism.
Now when I try to ignore it or believe in people's existence, I feel like I'm lying to myself. I constantly think "what if I've found the truth but I'm just running away from it?"
I understand that there's no way to know and I understand that there will never be 100% proof. I don't want 100% proof that people are real but I want to 100% BELIEVE that people are real. Will I ever get back to 100% believing that other people are real?
Throughout my day I'm constantly thinking about how other people can't see me, can't hear me, don't have thoughts, don't have feelings. I think about how nothing is physical and no one is real. I feel eternally alone. I just want to believe in people's existence.
It feels ridiculous for me to do anything now that I've come to this conclusion. Why should I live my life questioning other people's existence.
One problem I have is - At one point I believe I was getting close to overcoming the obsession, but one thing was stopping me from recovering: When I started thinking about the fact that everyone around me probably was real: I could only think about all the reading and thinking I'd done about Buddhism and solipsism and how the idea of subjective reality and solipsism is entirely possible. Therefore, I wasn't able to shrug it off as a dumb thought like I could about being stuck in a dream. This is partially because lots of other 'people' truly believe in solipsism, and the entire buddhist religion believes in subjective reality and that we are in a dream. I believe this stopped me from recovering, and it led me back to researching to find out if there really were true solipsists out there. It also reminded me of the potential truth behind solipsism. How do I break this in specific? --- Even when I get close to thinking solipsism isn't true, I remind myself that I can't just shrug it off because theres people who believe it and it could well be true. How do I escape this? It feels like running away from the 'truth' even though I know there's no way to know.
When this obsession first started, I was able to say "I know people are real, BUT I'm scared they're not". Now I am no longer able to say "I know people are real, BUT". Will I ever return to believing people are real?
I don't simply want to 'forget' or 'stop thinking' about solipsism. I want to believe its not true. -- Sometimes I think the reason it doesn't scare other people I talk to about it is because they aren't real. Can anyone relate?
How do I go back to believing my girlfriend is real, my parents are real, my siblings are real, my friends are real. It's all I think about 24/7. It is on my mind from the moment I fall asleep to the moment I wake up.
I've read recovery stories from solipsism, but none of them seem as severe as mine. In most of the stories I've read, people usually say "I always believed that people are real but I wasn't able to stop thinking about if they weren't". This is how I started but I can no longer say "I believe people are real". Then again, I'm not a solipsist. I don't believe in solipsism, but I still can't say "I think people are real".
Please help me. Hearing from other people who escaped solipsism, especially severe cases, will give me some hope. Even if this world isn't real and even DPDR sufferers are figments of my imagination, if they can recover from solipsism, so can I, the same way cures for headaches for other 'figments' work for me too. This is what I say to keep me motivated and getting back to believing in other minds.
Thank you - My heart goes out to anyone else battling this debilitating and heart-wrenching obsession. It is truly the worst thing I've ever had to experience. If you're reading this and real people are truly out there, just keep in mind that I am definitely real. I know that for certain. I'm suffering and battling this exact same obsession as you. I am not a figment of your imagination. I know you will never truly know that, and neither will I -- but I just want to believe that its true, whether it is or it isn't.
First off I'd like to say: Yes I know solipsism is a philosophy and I know it's not a psychological condition. Nevertheless, the thought is debilitating.
Here we go:
I've been battling solipsism long before I even realized I had DPDR. Initially I was scared of 'being in a dream' but I was able to problem-solve my way through that. It's now almost 5 months of me trying to get rid of this obsession and its becoming relentless. There is no escape.
As most people on here will know, solipsism is the idea that only your mind exists, and that reality you perceive is just part of your imagination, including other people.
My fear of solipsism stems from the eternal loneliness and idea that I am alone, with no other conscious beings. Even as I am typing it I'm questioning whether any sentient being will actually read this. I used to get relief from reading about others with this solipsism obsession but now I just think how no one else is going through this because no one else is real and my own mind is just forming other people's stories -- perhaps to trick me into believing in other people's existence -- or perhaps just out of pure coincidence. -- Also, part of my fear stems from a horrific weed trip I had in which I past out and hallucinated, leading to thoughts about solipsism. (This was the trigger of my DPDR)
For some reason, my solipsism obsession disappeared entirely for a week when I went on holiday with my family. I was 100% convinced that my family was real and I was so incredibly happy. Even when I intentionally thought about solipsism, I thought it was bullshit. I was sure my girlfriend, my family, my friends were all real. -- I don't know how this happened, but it did.
After I got home, I relapsed and fell back into not believing in the existence and consciousness of my family and friends. Since then, I have adopted the mentality of "allowing the thoughts to be there". "Not agreeing and not disagreeing". "Allow the thoughts to pass" "stop ruminating". I did all of these things to no avail.
It's been a month of me just allowing the thoughts to pass, but I'm not getting any better with solipsism.
Now when I try to ignore it or believe in people's existence, I feel like I'm lying to myself. I constantly think "what if I've found the truth but I'm just running away from it?"
I understand that there's no way to know and I understand that there will never be 100% proof. I don't want 100% proof that people are real but I want to 100% BELIEVE that people are real. Will I ever get back to 100% believing that other people are real?
Throughout my day I'm constantly thinking about how other people can't see me, can't hear me, don't have thoughts, don't have feelings. I think about how nothing is physical and no one is real. I feel eternally alone. I just want to believe in people's existence.
It feels ridiculous for me to do anything now that I've come to this conclusion. Why should I live my life questioning other people's existence.
One problem I have is - At one point I believe I was getting close to overcoming the obsession, but one thing was stopping me from recovering: When I started thinking about the fact that everyone around me probably was real: I could only think about all the reading and thinking I'd done about Buddhism and solipsism and how the idea of subjective reality and solipsism is entirely possible. Therefore, I wasn't able to shrug it off as a dumb thought like I could about being stuck in a dream. This is partially because lots of other 'people' truly believe in solipsism, and the entire buddhist religion believes in subjective reality and that we are in a dream. I believe this stopped me from recovering, and it led me back to researching to find out if there really were true solipsists out there. It also reminded me of the potential truth behind solipsism. How do I break this in specific? --- Even when I get close to thinking solipsism isn't true, I remind myself that I can't just shrug it off because theres people who believe it and it could well be true. How do I escape this? It feels like running away from the 'truth' even though I know there's no way to know.
When this obsession first started, I was able to say "I know people are real, BUT I'm scared they're not". Now I am no longer able to say "I know people are real, BUT". Will I ever return to believing people are real?
I don't simply want to 'forget' or 'stop thinking' about solipsism. I want to believe its not true. -- Sometimes I think the reason it doesn't scare other people I talk to about it is because they aren't real. Can anyone relate?
How do I go back to believing my girlfriend is real, my parents are real, my siblings are real, my friends are real. It's all I think about 24/7. It is on my mind from the moment I fall asleep to the moment I wake up.
I've read recovery stories from solipsism, but none of them seem as severe as mine. In most of the stories I've read, people usually say "I always believed that people are real but I wasn't able to stop thinking about if they weren't". This is how I started but I can no longer say "I believe people are real". Then again, I'm not a solipsist. I don't believe in solipsism, but I still can't say "I think people are real".
Please help me. Hearing from other people who escaped solipsism, especially severe cases, will give me some hope. Even if this world isn't real and even DPDR sufferers are figments of my imagination, if they can recover from solipsism, so can I, the same way cures for headaches for other 'figments' work for me too. This is what I say to keep me motivated and getting back to believing in other minds.
Thank you - My heart goes out to anyone else battling this debilitating and heart-wrenching obsession. It is truly the worst thing I've ever had to experience. If you're reading this and real people are truly out there, just keep in mind that I am definitely real. I know that for certain. I'm suffering and battling this exact same obsession as you. I am not a figment of your imagination. I know you will never truly know that, and neither will I -- but I just want to believe that its true, whether it is or it isn't.