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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A few days ago I came back from my trip to Paris. It was a short vacation of 5 days that I went on with my mother and I had looked forward to it since a few months. However, around two months ago in the middle of February I became depersonalized after suffering a severe panic attack. Since then my life has completely changed. In this relatively short period of time before going on this holiday trip, I tried everything to get rid of the DP. After all I wanted to be able to enjoy my stay there.
My attempts included:

  • going to a therapist
  • taking anti-anxiety medication
  • changing my eating habits (healthier) as well as physical exercise
  • living life "normally" as in going to my classes and other activities after having isolated myself for a few weeks after getting DP initially
  • not thinking about DP or not fearing it (this included not going on this forum for two weeks)

As you can guess, nothing worked. It was frustrating, but I tried to just accept it.

I did anything any other tourist would do in Paris. I stood on top of the Eiffeltower, looked at the Mona Lisa and visited the Notre Dame Cathedrale. I sat in Cafés, went shopping for a bit and drove with the Metro. Everything felt incredibly surreal. I was essentially completely in DP mode, feeling detached and numb. I would walk through the city and feel like I was in a complete dream state. Ever since I got DP even my own house and neighbourhood seemed foreign, so going to an actual foreign city made me feel even more detached from my reality. While I was there I had a faint hope that if I would be standing in front of a beautiful monument like the Eiffeltower I might finally feel something and the numbness would sort of disappear and it might help me completely snap out of DP. Unfortunately that was not the case, I felt like there were emotions of happiness and appreciation inside of me, but they were just so surpressed and I couldn't access them. It was more like: "Wow, I guess this is the Eiffeltower, looks nice, I guess. Oh and this is the Mona Lisa, heard a lot about it, always wanted to see it, very nice...".

Now that I have been back for nearly a week I looked at some pictures and it just felt unreal, like it feels like I was never really there. Like if you would ask me if I was in Paris last week, I would say yes but to me personally it felt like I wasn't actually there. Sometimes I wonder how I will feel looking at these pictures once I manage to recover, will all the memories and emotions that I experienced there suddenly feel real? I don't know.

I can't help but feel very hopeless now, after all I have tried I am still in this state, no matter where I go or what I do. I have accepted this to a certain degree, but that doesn't mean I won't keep on trying to recover.

Question in this thread: How were your experiences of travelling while DP/DR? Did you feel more or less detached than usual or was there no difference?

Thank you for reading!
 

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Unfortunately that was not the case, I felt like there were emotions of happiness and appreciation inside of me, but they were just so surpressed and I couldn't access them.

..

Question in this thread: How were your experiences of travelling while DP/DR? Did you feel more or less detached than usual or was there no difference?
I have memories of traveling with DP/DR and sometimes it was hellish, but other times it helped pull me out of my head. It could go either way.

Those emotions that you felt were just out of reach will start to come back if you keep this up. Continue to do things you would really enjoy and appreciate if you were free of dp/dr. Don't overwhelm yourself, but do go outside your comfort zone.

When you break through to those emotions, that's the beginning of the end of dp/dr.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I have memories of traveling with DP/DR and sometimes it was hellish, but other times it helped pull me out of my head. It could go either way.

Those emotions that you felt were just out of reach will start to come back if you keep this up. Continue to do things you would really enjoy and appreciate if you were free of dp/dr. Don't overwhelm yourself, but do go outside your comfort zone.

When you break through to those emotions, that's the beginning of the end of dp/dr.
Thank you for your comment!

It really gave me some hope. This is my goal now: keep doing things I would normally enjoy and step out of my comfort zone every now and then
 
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