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I appreciate this posting. Do is a real 'bitch slap!' Unfortunately it seems harder and harder to get rid of. Yesterday I was playing tennis and I coudnt recall where I was, the Val and score keeping. It's one more activity Rooney.

I wish my old life would return although I won't say that it wasn't riddled with problems that had me anxious and confused. But being able to gage my own ability would've very nice feeling. Like I am in charge. I pray for that day. Something that normal ppl have regularly.
 

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I wish people knew just because you can't see all the things I'm trying to do to get better doesn't mean I'm not doing them. Outsiders can see if you go to therapy or meditate or whatever but they it's harder to see the energy it takes to fight a constant mental battle.
So true man, my gf broke up with me because she felt like i wasn´t trying enough...
 
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