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Top 8 Mistakes DP/DRers make :)

11136 Views 33 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  Someoneone, 
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I am the first one who never believed in psychological therapies and I will always be sceptical about most of them, BUT DP/DR IS EXCEPTION.

The Holy Grail Of Curing DP/DR really literally solves it...it beats DP/DR completely, yes, to a point where you literally can't even remember what DP/DR used to feel like, but instead you just remember it as "something that felt awfully awkward and awkwardly awful".

Here is my personal opinion on the top 8 mistakes that DP/DR people make when trying to cure their DP/DR:

1.Not getting physically examined.

Get your blood/stool/urine/skin/amino acids/minerals/vitamins/hormons tests done!!!! at least 40% of my DP/DR was due to Lysine and Zinc deficiency.

For many it was Sleep Apnea that caused it entirely or for the most part.

2.Neglecting other mental disorders that may have caused DP/DR in the first place (DP/DR is nothing but a branch of anxiety).

Visit a psychiatrist and of course always seek for a natural solution first and then if it doesn't work, take your psychiatrist's advice.

3.Not creating conditions for healing DP/DR.

You can't expect to not be anxious at least on a subconscious level if you have some serious life problems. First solve them all and then once fine with your life, beating DP/DR is actually very easy. As long as you have some serious, severe life problems that really bother you your anxiety will always reoccur for sure and in turn possibly even provoke DP/DR again.

4.Not enough sleep or poor sleeping patterns.

Just as it's mentioned in The Holy Grail Of Curing DP/DR, 8 hours of sleep is the best, because it is not too much but not too little either. Lay as early as you can.

If you notice that daytime naps trigger DP/DR, avoid them (for me daytime naps were the number 1 trigger and for some others they actually helped, so determine on your own).

5.Feeling guilty/anxious about beign relaxed. (this was my biggest misatke :D)

Thoughts like these - "Oh should I really relax at a time like this!? Or should I perhaps relax a bit more!? Oh wait! What if I relax too much!?" will only put your attention back on DP/DR and will make you more anxious.

RELAX!!! Being at peace never brought any harm to anyone, you can be sure about that.

I know I know it is kind of hard to calm down with all those worries, but trust me, your body and mind will start picking up the calm mindset with the time.

It's one of those things that is very hard to start, but once you slip into the first "calm day" it will gradually become easier and easier, then the time will iron it all out and once out of DP/DR, you'll be thinking - "how the heck did I manage to feel that way in the first place?!" :)

6.Spending too much time alone in your room in front of your PC.

This doesn't mean you should get freaked out if you worked for 8 hours on your PC (I am into CG and IT myself) or if you played some Final Fantasy/Command And Conquer like games for couple of hours (come on, those franchises are way too awesome! :D) it is ok, it just means that you should GO OUTSIDE SOMETIMES FOR CHRIST SAKE! :D Refresh contacts with your friends, make new friends, pick good people as your friends, get rid of bad "friends", be a good person, fall in love etc.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Although it is not something you should be freaked about, the speed of your recovery definitely depends on how much you avoid being alone and spending time on surfing and reading creepy stories like ours :D

7.Being a crybaby about a relapse or a bad day.

I am the sorest loser you will EVER MEET. PERIOD. Yet I learned to be fine with occasional relapses which helped me soooo much. These days I don't even remember when those relapses have happened.

8.Thinking about DP/DR, then thinking about thinking about DP/DR, then thinking about what your dog who's name is Bob btw (did I guess? :D) thinks about you having DP/DR while playing Red Alert 2 and would he bite you if he knew that you were using dog units as a cannon fodder in the game...then getting anxious about it all and then get depressed about being anxious and then getting angry about feeling all of that again and then AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I hope you see the pattern :)

So just think less, and live more! Everything is going to be fine, and no, Bob is not going to bite you :)

Just for the record, I never went to a psychiatrist and never took ANY drugs. I suspect I have severe ADHD yet I have still beat my DP/DR completely, though I still have some anxiety but that's due to a huge life problem that I have, but I know that I'll solve that one just as I solved all the other ones so far!

So that's it, that was my personal opinion and I hope I didn't bore you with such a long post. In case I later realize that I miss some of the common mistakes I'll make sure to add it! :)

Greetings from Serbia! ;)
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Exactly Skynet! It is as simple as that.

Sometimes things that are simple are the most effective. I guarantee that DP/DR is the most awful mental condition but ironically is the easiest and least expensive one to treat.

If anyone has any questions about my experience,needs any help, or simply wants to chat with me and be friends, feel free to contact me. I'm always for it ;)
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@Delicate, I agree! You need jsut a small imbalance of some of those minerals/vitamins/whatever to start experiencing some health problems and some really bad symptoms. (A girl that I know lost sense of smell completely just because of moderate zinc deficiency, and got it back as soon as she started taking zinc).

People must be educated about this more. Of course that doesn't mean that you should become a total paranoid and start recognizing yourself in descriptions of every possible disease :) But checking your health here and there just to be safe can neve be bad. Especially turn your attention on Tryptophan deficiency!

Btw I like your sig, it's perfect.

@heartless, I am glad you agree comrade! :) Respect is mutual! RA2 forever!

@NEEDMOREBLAZE, exactly, that's exactly when the healing process begins, every technique that includes worry is nothing but a "1 step forward 1 steps back". Although time alone does solve it for some, but it's a loooong time so why relying on it? Stop worrying today.
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That is great to hear! Keep it up people! :)
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Loza782 said:
Did you also experience pure o - thinking everything was not real? And trying to prove it wrong? Laura
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@Laura, Oooh yes :) You have no idea how much of such thinking I used to experience.

#5 common mistake I've listed in this topic is extremely related to this even though it may not make sense to you right away.

I used to have this feeling of "if I stop proving myself that I am real and that everything is real, I'll lose all the arguments and fall into oblivion, so I have to keep it up, I must!".

How silly I was :D :D :D it wasn't something I really literally believed all the time, but it became a habit, an obsession. Because of that I was rarely ever relaxed :)

The reality is opposite, the more you strain and obsess about proving your reality and the more you think about it the more tired and panicked your brain is going to become and in turn is going to put that protecting mechanism on AKA derealization.

I feel so embarrassed now that I tell you all this but hey, I'd rather be embarrassed than knowledge-stingy ;)
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Hahaha you are welcome!

Relax, I know how freaked out you are, I know the feeling all too well :)

For me it was about 3-4 years, simply because for those 3-4 years I never thought that accepting it and not giving damn about it could actually heal it. As soon as I realized that things started to change.
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Hosscat, I'm glad :) Cause other people's stories (both on this forum and elsewhere) had same type of effect on me :) First I was skeptical, then I tried and failed couple of times due to mistake #5 :D

And then I started picking it up and proved myself that it actually works :)

Laura, Yes all sorts of uncertainties including that one. And yes I'm literally 100% better now as for DP/DR :)

Hahaha, come on relax, I can see anxiety being emitted from the letters that you've typed :))) The sooner you start making calmness a habit of yours the sooner you'll heal ;)
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@Laura, hahaha, yes, that's a perfect sign that with you its purely psychological :) And you should not "TRY HARD", I mean you should, but not in a strained way, relax (I'm seriously going to repeat it to you all until you get bored and give up on being under pressure :D). There's nothing wrong with being energetic and fidgety by nature I am myself like that, but don't be under pressure to do this.

Next time you find yourself having a good time and forgetting about DP/DR and then suddenly remembering it, don't be like "oh no oh no, it's coming again why did I have to remember it now!", instead be like "oh I just remembered it, who cares, I can still function with or without it".

@Hosscat, "as when you try to disprove it you never can satisfactorily without another 'what if' coming up" - exactly! And that's why you have to practice to let go of "what if" thought, to not care. Think like this "when did I ever benefit from asking myself "what if?", I never had any use of it, the world didn't fall apart, everything was still the same yet I panicked and questioned myself unnecessarily all the time!".

I figured that most of it was - being afraid that breaking your thought habits will somehow change something for worse...That's the most silly thing I could ever think of, now when I remember it I laugh and I feel embarrassed :D Breaking your obsessive thought patterns can only change things FOR BETTER. Mark my words.
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@Laura, Thank you! I actually think my English is rather very goofy since it's not my native language.

Anyway, you really remind me of myself when I was at my worst :) full of questions, scared and confused :)
The whole confusion and feeling weird may partially be due to your pregnancy, I've heard many women are feeling weird when pregnant, so you definitely should be better once you give birth to your baby.
Again, as for sleeping I'd advise you to have consistent patterns, for example I believe it would be perfect to lay early and get up early, sleep about 8 hours and make it a habit.

As for my worst, dear God, where do I start yet how to avoid scaring you :D - I thought I was LITERALLY losing my mind due to a brain tumor :D hahahahaha! I thought I was lost in my own thoughts, have became a different person, I thought that somebody cranked down the intensity of my consciousness and awakeness from 100% to 2% and that nothing will ever be the same again. I kept describing my DP/DR to my friends as "you know that awful taste in mouth that stays in your mouth for a day or even two when you eat something awful or spoiled? Well imagine a mental version of that feeling, plus it's 1000 times worse...a horrible awkward weird unexplainable mental taste not willing to leave your brain!", cause that was the only figurative way I could explain it with.
I've became paranoid and it all just made it worse. It was absolutely horrifying, it can never be described with words.

But hey, I've beaten it, and it was so much easier than I thought it would be ;) I never lost anything, as a matter of fact I am stronger and smarter than ever due to this experience, and you will be too.

@Hosscat, Definitely! Definitely the saddest and scariest part, I totally know what you're talking about. You kind of view everything differently including your family, on top of that you start questioning yourself "why do I not enjoy being around them as much as I used to" and then start feeling guilty about it. That's silly, it's not you, it's DP/DR and depression that just changes your view on everything including your family and once your get out of DP/DR and stabilize yourself everything is going to be good :) So you must not feel guilty or bad, just let it go and relax.

@Heartless, you're so right, at this stage, reading our creepy stories will at best slow your healing process down! Go outside, or if you have to stay home watch some comedy, it helps so much! :)

BTW! One very effective thing for sleeping well and for DP/DR in general is a certain random exercise that I came up with.

Doing short jumps using only your calve muscles for 10-20 minutes constantly and then stretching your legs after that. After this I've usually slept well and felt that pleasant version of tiredness in my legs :)

But really any exercise that rises your heart rate constantly for 20-30 minutes (like 20-30 minutes of long distance running) triggers the release of serotonin and dopamine (exactly what many of us DP/DRers miss a little bit due to a lot of stress).

Of course, Laura don't do these exercises while you're pregnant, unless your doctor tells you so.
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Thank you Laura! Perhaps you experienced similar thing as I did. I am very physically active and my DP/DR started when I was a bit injured and sick and it was winter so I really couldn't run and play soccer even if I wanted, it was very snowy so I got lazy and it was a big shock for my organism that was used to being physically active. So that's my theory - such contrast in physical activity was uncomfortable, possibly have triggered Zinc deficiency and an injury that I had also possibly triggered Lysine deficiency and it all combined with me being very depressed,stressed over few personal things and feeling lonely triggered DP/DR.

So definitely expect big improvement once you start running again ;) Cause these days I'm pretty physically active again and I feel great :)

Keep accepting DP/DR and not giving a damn and everything will iron itself out with time ;)
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Yes I know what is Solipsism. The problem is not the theory itself, as much as it's your panicky and anxious view on it, or on anything else for that matter.

The more you live life the more you'll stop bothering with such scary questions, and then once healed even when you ask yourself those questions they won't seem that scary, and they'll definitely seem pointless and time wasting :)
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Loza782, I think that it's you panicking over how antiderpessants will affect you, rather than antidepressants themselves (but hey it doesn't mean they couldn't make you feel a bit more woozy). You have to have faith in our advices, I know it's hard and I know that at your stage it takes some time before someone's words or your rational mind breaks through the irrational, anxious and skeptical barrier created by your DP/DR and actually get to you, but you need to believe us.

You have to realize that your pregnancy itself may cause some or even majority of your anxiety and problems, but it is so worth it, because after it all passes you'll have your baby! :) Isn't that amazing.

I think this video is made for you -
make sure to show it to your husband as well!
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Just to let you all know about that big life problem I mentioned in my initial post here. After soooooooo much time it seems that I have finally found a solution, but I don't want to celebrate before I test it several times :)

For now, I will just start laughing like an evil scientist mwuahuahuahuahuaaaaa :) Long live patience and persistence! :))))) mwuahuahuahuaaaaa! :D

;)
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Hello Vitellius! Sorry for a delayed reply! I am doing so well that I don't have much time for message boards and such, so I just come here occasionally in case someone needs an advice :)

Well Sleep Apnea is probably the most common cause of DP/DR at least when it comes to physical conditions (that's what my statistics say, but I'm not a doc by any means, just a former sufferer and a bit of analyst ;D).

Sleep Apnea is usually easily treated by the CPAP mask, but of course get diagnosed with it first :)

Before you do that all, try to make a habit of sleeping on the side, that will also significantly improve it.
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That is the same question I've been asking others who recovered at that time :) I guess history repeats itself :)

Well I've beat DP 100% and DR is still there a bit because my DR is rather just a brain fog caused by some kind of neurological thing or something like that (I still haven't figured out what is causing it, although I think it may be my slight hypothyroid, and I'm going to check it soon again). But it is not a feeling unreal thing, it's just like I said, more of a brain fog and poor ability to focus, so no worries.

Now onto your question, from the moment I knew what to do, to the recovery it took roughly about 6-8 months.

Now PLEASE, it is very important not to bother with it and count the days :) Instead try to be social/active (without overburdening and pushing yourself way too much of course)and try not to think about it too much. Because constant self checking for whether it's gone or not was something that kind of slowed my process of recovery down. So the best and the most efficient way to recover is to just relax as much as possible, realize that world is not going to fall apart, you're not going crazy, everything is going to be fine, just accept DP, don't fight it, let it go, keep on living with it, and it will pass on it's own.

As for your other question, for me it wasn't something that just HAPPENED suddenly, it's a lot like beating depression and anxiety (well as we all know DP is in 99% cases just a symptom of anxiety), it's very gradual, and over time you start noticing that while you are still not good you are significantly better than you was, and so on, and it gradually disappears :) The moment I realized I was 100% is when I thought to myself "heeey! I haven't been thinking about DP for quite some time now! Wait, wow! it's actually gone! How the heck did I even manage to feel that way anyway :D".

So, the moral of the story is to accept it, live with DP, let it go, relax, have fun, go ahead and live life, distract yourself, do something you love to do and with time it will pass indeed.
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Haha yeah I know, but don't let it bother you :) Don't necessarily FORCE trying to forget about it, just relax, don't count the days, accept it and do something you enjoy, that way even when you think about it it won't get you angry/anxious/depressed.

Trust me, if there's one thing that all of us who beat DP have learned it is - you are soooo much tougher than you think you are.

So don't worry, you are on the right track. You're not going insane, you don't have a brain injury and the world is not going to end (those are standard 3 irrational delusions every deeply DPed person has :D)
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^oh yeah, than that's definitely just the "lingering anxiety", cause you are anxious about it possibly coming back, but in reality, if you're not afraid of it and if you don't dwell on it it can only get better and never worse.

If you don't count days and act as if you don't care even if it stays there with you for the rest of your life, after some time it will simply completely disappear ;)
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