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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today while visiting with my cognitive therapist I realised that in a certain sense I am lucky in feeling that I have identified the cause of my current intermittent transient DP as being symptomatic of a early childhood developmental defiency.

I feel lucky in the sense that I can trace the cause of my DP/DR to a particular point in time.

Recently Janine mentioned in one of her responses to one of my earlier posts about the period in "ego development" where one experiences a bonding and identification with the nurturing maternal figure and how this may cause a feeling of merging into the "other" eclipsing whatever sense of distinction may exist between oneself and "other" and/or the outer environment in general.

I can see that (like Janine said, and what a wealth of knowledge she has!) psychological regression is a prominent feature of my feelings of depersonalization, particularly when accompanied by physical feelings of merging into objects in the outer environment.

I read somewhere recently that one explanation of DP is that it is a withdrawal of "libido" back into the unconcious mind.

Recognising that the psyche in seeking to heal itself, or perhaps more correctly to say, complete itself, it sort of scans through the unconcious and returns to that developmental period in time where the original deficiency occured. Where the small child needs went unmet and a sort of incomplete "false self" began to grow over on top of an unstable foundation. DP may simply be the revealing of the unsubstantiality of this "false self" as is experienced through this retracing of ones "sense of self" back down this path of involuntary regression.

Example:

I have in recent days taken up a casual study of an introduction to Baroque music.

What struck me about it (at least what I have learned so far) is that there is a musical phrase that starts the piece and is repeated throughout, over and over, yet on top of this repetitive underlying "musical idea" there developes complex musical flourishes and interesting variations of sounds and "emotional tones." It becomes easy (unless one listens carefuuly) to loose an awareness of the underlying repetitive musical phrase that underlies all the surface music we hear built upon it and which acts to hold the whole piece together.

In similar manner when the theme of our "self" (in a developmental sense) is incomplete or inadequate the false self we have built upon it will sometimes slip into one of the holes in the foundation now and then and we will have the experience of DP/DR.

At least this is how I feel it works in me. And having this theoretical framework to view my DP experiences from has over time brought me a certain sense of relief, and I intuitively feel this explanation seems to fit.
In being able to see my DP as something I sometimes experience and have a sort of relationship to, rather than comprising the whole of myself like it once did, has proved very helpful.

Of course we are all different, so thats just my two cents worth.

Sincerely
john
 

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Hi John

Your posts are always great to read. I admire your insight and ability to reason through this difficulty of DPDR and effectively share it with others. Thanks.

Ken
 

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Wish I knew how to do quotes

'In being able to see my DP as something I sometimes experience and have a sort of relationship to, rather than comprising the whole of myself like it once did, has proved very helpful. '

Absolutely agree Mr 59!
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Where the small child needs went unmet and a sort of incomplete "false self" began to grow over on top of an unstable foundation. DP may simply be the revealing of the unsubstantiality of this "false self" as is experienced through this retracing of ones "sense of self" back down this path of involuntary regression.
that my friend, is it in a nutshell. (no "nut" i.e., mentally disturbed person pun intended) grin

John, you have a truly REMARKABLE ability to use language to communicate these concepts. I am consistently impressed by you.

:lol:
Janine
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
john_59 said:
I have in recent days taken up a casual study of an introduction to Baroque music.

What struck me about it (at least what I have learned so far) is that there is a musical phrase that starts the piece and is repeated throughout, over and over, yet on top of this repetitive underlying "musical idea" there developes complex musical flourishes and interesting variations of sounds and "emotional tones." It becomes easy (unless one listens carefuuly) to loose an awareness of the underlying repetitive musical phrase that underlies all the surface music we hear built upon it and which acts to hold the whole piece together.
This reminds me of a very difficult, but profound read by Douglas R. Hofstadter "G?del, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid"

While not totally related to your example, it is quite relevant to our/your plight.

G?del, a logician, Escher, an artist (example below), and Bach the composer. I'll quote the author because his words are much better than mine.

Hofstadter said:
"I realized that to me, G?del and Escher and Bach were only shadows cast in different directions by some central solid essence. I tried to reconstruct the central object, and came up with this book. GEB is a very personal attempt to say how it is that animate beings can come out of inanimate matter. What is a self, and how can a self come out of stuff that is as selfless as a stone or a puddle?"


 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you all for your replies and your kind words of support and encouragement.

In a certain sense when I make a post it is a sort of intellectual project for me. I take some time reflecting upon the contents and what it is I am trying to express. Rather than try and engage in back and forth written conversations as i am truly lousy at that.

If what I say is sometimes comphrehendible to you, or on some level resonates with your own personal experiences of DP or with the intellectual concepts you may have in regards to the source or origin of DP in your life, then I take some solace in the knowledge and reassurance that others "out there" can relate to my personal experience of DP.

I am glad for having this opportunity to participate here on the forum. At times I find being able to post here acts as a sort of "emotional balm" soothing some of the feelings of lonliness and emotional isolation that I, like other DPers, are so often subject to.

You ever well wisher
john
 
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