G
Guest
·Today while visiting with my cognitive therapist I realised that in a certain sense I am lucky in feeling that I have identified the cause of my current intermittent transient DP as being symptomatic of a early childhood developmental defiency.
I feel lucky in the sense that I can trace the cause of my DP/DR to a particular point in time.
Recently Janine mentioned in one of her responses to one of my earlier posts about the period in "ego development" where one experiences a bonding and identification with the nurturing maternal figure and how this may cause a feeling of merging into the "other" eclipsing whatever sense of distinction may exist between oneself and "other" and/or the outer environment in general.
I can see that (like Janine said, and what a wealth of knowledge she has!) psychological regression is a prominent feature of my feelings of depersonalization, particularly when accompanied by physical feelings of merging into objects in the outer environment.
I read somewhere recently that one explanation of DP is that it is a withdrawal of "libido" back into the unconcious mind.
Recognising that the psyche in seeking to heal itself, or perhaps more correctly to say, complete itself, it sort of scans through the unconcious and returns to that developmental period in time where the original deficiency occured. Where the small child needs went unmet and a sort of incomplete "false self" began to grow over on top of an unstable foundation. DP may simply be the revealing of the unsubstantiality of this "false self" as is experienced through this retracing of ones "sense of self" back down this path of involuntary regression.
Example:
I have in recent days taken up a casual study of an introduction to Baroque music.
What struck me about it (at least what I have learned so far) is that there is a musical phrase that starts the piece and is repeated throughout, over and over, yet on top of this repetitive underlying "musical idea" there developes complex musical flourishes and interesting variations of sounds and "emotional tones." It becomes easy (unless one listens carefuuly) to loose an awareness of the underlying repetitive musical phrase that underlies all the surface music we hear built upon it and which acts to hold the whole piece together.
In similar manner when the theme of our "self" (in a developmental sense) is incomplete or inadequate the false self we have built upon it will sometimes slip into one of the holes in the foundation now and then and we will have the experience of DP/DR.
At least this is how I feel it works in me. And having this theoretical framework to view my DP experiences from has over time brought me a certain sense of relief, and I intuitively feel this explanation seems to fit.
In being able to see my DP as something I sometimes experience and have a sort of relationship to, rather than comprising the whole of myself like it once did, has proved very helpful.
Of course we are all different, so thats just my two cents worth.
Sincerely
john
I feel lucky in the sense that I can trace the cause of my DP/DR to a particular point in time.
Recently Janine mentioned in one of her responses to one of my earlier posts about the period in "ego development" where one experiences a bonding and identification with the nurturing maternal figure and how this may cause a feeling of merging into the "other" eclipsing whatever sense of distinction may exist between oneself and "other" and/or the outer environment in general.
I can see that (like Janine said, and what a wealth of knowledge she has!) psychological regression is a prominent feature of my feelings of depersonalization, particularly when accompanied by physical feelings of merging into objects in the outer environment.
I read somewhere recently that one explanation of DP is that it is a withdrawal of "libido" back into the unconcious mind.
Recognising that the psyche in seeking to heal itself, or perhaps more correctly to say, complete itself, it sort of scans through the unconcious and returns to that developmental period in time where the original deficiency occured. Where the small child needs went unmet and a sort of incomplete "false self" began to grow over on top of an unstable foundation. DP may simply be the revealing of the unsubstantiality of this "false self" as is experienced through this retracing of ones "sense of self" back down this path of involuntary regression.
Example:
I have in recent days taken up a casual study of an introduction to Baroque music.
What struck me about it (at least what I have learned so far) is that there is a musical phrase that starts the piece and is repeated throughout, over and over, yet on top of this repetitive underlying "musical idea" there developes complex musical flourishes and interesting variations of sounds and "emotional tones." It becomes easy (unless one listens carefuuly) to loose an awareness of the underlying repetitive musical phrase that underlies all the surface music we hear built upon it and which acts to hold the whole piece together.
In similar manner when the theme of our "self" (in a developmental sense) is incomplete or inadequate the false self we have built upon it will sometimes slip into one of the holes in the foundation now and then and we will have the experience of DP/DR.
At least this is how I feel it works in me. And having this theoretical framework to view my DP experiences from has over time brought me a certain sense of relief, and I intuitively feel this explanation seems to fit.
In being able to see my DP as something I sometimes experience and have a sort of relationship to, rather than comprising the whole of myself like it once did, has proved very helpful.
Of course we are all different, so thats just my two cents worth.
Sincerely
john
