[Imagine]

For most of the day I have been reading a book, even though I read and make sense of the novel I can't help but still feel like I don't understand it.

Thoughts come into my head... I ask myself how do people come up with this stuff... as if my brain has no ability of imagination or creativity as all objects to me are the same, they have no meaning.

Another feeling that came across me today is being very un-responsive, when I asked the question I feel I can't respond as its tottally unbelieveable for me to understand that someone understands that I'm real when I don't feel it myself.

In a whole - today I just feel in a lost daze with the same old lost identity feeling, brain pauses and being an observer of the words coming out of my mouth and the thoughts passing through my head, they're not mine, were they hell are they coming from, what can I calissify as mine anyways when "me" doesn't exist.

Its crazy. Although I hope being able to read a book is a sign that I'm still functional and not headed to complete doom dissapearance.

The book I'm currently reading is one I was recommended to read... it's a very easy easy easy read.... "A Child Called ' It'"

p.s. Does anyone ever get a trapped feeling.... and its as if you just wanna go crazy and try to escape from something but you don't know what.

 

[Imagine]

Damn I feel really strange right now.

My head feels very light and floaty and my mind is completely blank. Its kinda scaring me.

Nearly freaking out. I can't understand anything on tv, or any object.

Body feels empty and floaty also.

Crazy stuff.

 

[Scattered]

I'm starting to feel that slight nauseous feeling I get in the pit of my stomach before anxiety comes on. Its like I can maintain a veneer of indifference for a long time but regardless of what happens, in a time of idleness it will all come back. The defenses start to breakdown and the world as you have constructed it for yourself breaks down leaving you in the powerless vacuum of nonmeaning.

The worst part is not being there, but realizing you're on the brink of being there and may slip into it at any moment. All I want is some understanding, and comfort. I can't seem to get it, or to change my behavior enough in order to increase its likelihood.

 

[Imagine]

You know what really sucks... feeling as if you don't know what anything or anyone is... even dp/dr.

When you feel everything seems alienated even your own thoughts, what should one do, I can't seem to distract myself away from what I'am being distracted by.

 

[Imagine]

You know what is also fucked up... I don't even think this is dp/dr...

 

[livinginhell333]

i know exactly how you feel. i feel this everyday where everything doesn't seem real even my own thoughts and i always feel light like i am floating like a ghost. it really never gets better. some days i might feel a little more in control of my thoughts or whatever, and those days give me some hope, but pretty much i feel the same way every day.

does anyone get like muscle twitches/spasms like all over their body? i get them a lot.

 

[Scattered]

I used to get alot of twitches around my body. Recently I've had them in my eyes. I think its just a symptom of anxiety.

 

[Da'Burgh]

http://www.aboutbfs.com go to the forum. I have this.