To those with kids

2788 Views 30 Replies 10 Participants Last post by RageOfCreation, Jul 28, 2005

RageOfCreation

Discussion Starter · Jun 29, 2005

I have a 12 year old daughter (who is very mature and intelligent for her age) and she is aware that I have some very serious problems but really doesn't know what they are beyond anxiety.
For those with kids.... Do you feel it safe and easy to explain DP to your kids? How have they reacted?
Should I show her the "definition" of DP from this site? It so clearly explains how I feel and I think my daughter would understand a bit better if (along with my help and further information) she could read the definition from the site.

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person3

· #15 · Jun 30, 2005

plus it already runs in the family

i agree with janine...tell her maybe about depression and anxiety, but don't elaborate lest she try to REALLY understand it...I thank god I didn't get this stuff until I was 19, it would have been terrible to lose that period of life. I wouldn't give her anything to contemplate about.

Maybe tell her it's an age/job/hell...say chronic fatigue. Just say your mind has been worn out for a long time.

It may be important to explain this to your doctor or friends, but I would spare the daughter who is already worried, has the same genetic makeup, and appears to be intelligent enough to start trying to ruminate on her own.

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person3

· #16 · Jun 30, 2005

I just thought of something else (and this isn't geared towards you, Rage Of Creation):

I wonder if, when we are really trying to get others to understand how we feel, if it's part desire to have someone down there with us, to feel less alone. Kind of like when I would get in trouble in elementary/middle school it was WAY different if someone else was in trouble with me too. Otherwise I would feel more alienated, ostracized, anxious, etc.

So maybe being understood is not as benign as it sounds, maybe there is a secret desire to drag someone else into it too.

Once again, that is not related to you ROC. But I do want to add another thing on this post...children want to be a lot like their parents, they are intersted in the "culture" of whatever the parent has, they want to get involved. Like when my anorexic mom showed us around Laureate (mental hospital known nationally for taking in skeletons and hurlers), I thought it was cool how all the girls would hang out and talk in a room and be friends and such. It seemed glamourous. I later became anorexic for myriad reasons, one I'm sure was that being thin was so important that they dedicated this really cool hospital to treat it. Stuff on TV and in magazines about eating disorders would fascinate me, too. I literally didn't see any other goals in life eventually; I thought it was all about how you looked and if you didn't look thin, then you were nothing. I have a feeling that if my mom weren't so involved ONLY in the eating disorder world, if maybe she took some time out to do OTHER activities with me, maybe it wouldn't have been as important.
Also, I used to want to do LSD to experience things that weren't there. Hell, I used to want to be manic depressive because to a 12/13 year old with a lot of angst, it sounded fun and wild. I"m afraid that your daughter would look on here and see the symptoms and to an "outsider" they look fun and interesting (people try to achieve these states on their own, you know) and that could lead her down a dangerous path.

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