Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I wanted to share a few of my thoughts from personal experience. I belonged to this group several years ago while dealing with a bad bout of anxiety and DR. I had episodes of DP/DR as a child/teenager and young adult, but it always passed. One day after a chain of panic attacks the DR stayed with me. That year and a half is a bad dream and much of it is a blur to me, but I can tell you I got out and life was wonderful!

This brings me to my present situation. I had a serious back injury. . .I had partial paralysis to my leg and my quality of life was seriously decreased. I had one experience with laughing gas that left me terrified of anesthetic because I suffered an episode of DR along with it. I was too young to know what to call it, but remembered it and feared ANY surgery as a result. I actually considered living with my situation to avoid surgery. No amount of physical pain can equate to the discomfort of living with anxiety DP/DR. If something hurts it just plain hurts, but to feel you are on the edge of sanity. . .. there is nothing that compares and is difficult to explain to others. When something hurts others have empathy, they treat you with extra care, you can take a pain pill, but with DP/DR you live in a bubble waiting for the day you can be "you" again to come and you suffer silently much of the time.

I finally got to the point where there was no other option than surgery. As terrified as I was I knew it was what I had to do. I took control of the situation by educating myself about general anesthetic, talking to the surgeon and the anesthesiologist and sharing my fears with my family. I just plain came clean about my concern of DP/DR. Some will look at you like you are crazy, others shake their heads in understanding like you are telling them about a bad cold you had. The anesthesiologist WILL be familiar with DP/DR. I had a wonderful anesthesiologist who took me down quick, brought me out quick, made sure I wasn't nauseated by ordering pre-op anti-nausea meds and was careful in what he chose for pain. We were all on the same page. In short, my experience was wonderful. I experienced no DR/DP, a bit of anxiety a few hours post-op, but nothing more than I would expect a normal person to feel. The surgery was a success and I was grateful for an experience where I had time to prepare and educate versus an emergency situation where I didn't have a choice.

You might be wondering, "well what is she doing back on this board then?" Truth be told, prior to surgery I started experiencing panic attacks, likely from lying to myself about the pain and situation I was in, family situations and just not "dealing" with life in general. I was in denial of my physical and emotional status. Two months post-op the DR set in after a string of panic attacks and I am working hard to find my way out again. This episode was NOT anesthetic related. The DR, anxiety and panic attacks I am currently experiencing is related to the lies I told myself pre-op and situations I didn't deal with post-op. Trust me folks, the anticipation of anesthetic is worse than the actual event. Isn't the anticipation always the worst?
I do know this. . .. . there is a way out of DP/DR. I am walking proof of it. The way out last time was a combination of prayer, meds, counseling, time and focusing outward. The patience in waiting for time to pass and focusing outward is the hardest, this I know. I feel for every one of us who suffers from this disorder, but feel very badly for those out there that do not know what it is, do not have a name for the feeling, and do not have this support system.
My prayers and thoughts are with those of you going in for surgery and those suffering with this condition. Please keep me in your prayers as well.
Communicate your fears with your health care providers. There is such a wide choice of drugs for general anesthetics now. Here is a link that helped me:
God Bless,

· Registered
116 Posts
Faith said:
You might be wondering, "well what is she doing back on this board then?" (since I'm fine now)
You know, this is a good point that a lot of us on the board need to realize when you are losing hope. If I was cured and perfectly fine, would I be here? No. The only people who complain are the ones who have the problem. It wouldn't make sense for there to be a giant board of: PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE DP/DR!

I have to be honest, if I suddenly became cured, I wouldn't ever come back here again. There'd be no reason for it. So just remember, just because there are a lot of people who never show up here saying there's hope, that doesn't mean there isn't.
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.