DP is un-defined, un-warranted, floating, physical alterations in mental and physical perception.
While it may slowly develop over time, when we recall our condition, it seems to have started almost "out of the blue."
In my case, DP arrived from after the first time I smoked marijuana. I say "first" because I now smoke almost every other day. Not that it matters, I have my own reasons for smoking, none of which include "escaping or coping with reality."
I no longer suffer from DP; was there anything "special" I did? No, at least I don't recall. All I can say is that I came to accept that I would have an altered perception for the rest of my life. I started writing poetry, if I was going to suffer from this ailment, than at least I would leave the world with an account of my story, and my experiences.
DP took away alot. My GPA slipped below 2.0, and I was not able to transfer to my dream university for that reason. But it gave me alot, a hell of a lot; it taught me to stop caring so much, about anything, about myself, people, money, my future.
Life is strange, random, and non-consequential. I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but I believe that when you die, that's all that happens. You rot in the ground, food for maggots.
And that's liberating, because truly, nothing matters. Now, I'm not a pessimistic person at all, in fact I am more optimistic than most of my friends and colleagues.
But I urge you, those that are suffering, to take everything that you hear about "getting better" with a grain of salt. If you are not better, its not your fault. There is NOT some magic key or procedure, or vitamin, or herbal supplement, or voodoo prayer, that you can say to get out of these feelings. They may be hear to stay, forever. So do something about it. Write, make music, dress in black and sit in coffeeshops, go out and create your mark, whether good or bad. Let the world know who you are. Never be afraid. You will die one day, we all will.
The perspective of depersonaliation and derealization are individualized, therefore, it's hard to tell what could be a possible remedy for the person. I, personally, do not believe that just "accepting" it will do any good; this perspective came from a problem, some underlying root, that needs to be accounted for, and repaired, before an individual can go to recovery.
I never claimed that acceptance is a "cure." Let me re-cap: I don't know why I no longer have DP, I did not do anything to get rid of DP, I just accepted it, and for me, it left.
What I say in this post is that there is a very clear possibility that for some, DP will always be a part of their lives. If you have DP, you don't know if you will have it forever, but you shouldn't wait for it to leave, because it might not.
Also, this whole concept of cure bothers me... You spend hours online forums, trying to "discover" a cure, trying different regimens, investigating a phenomenon that the world knows very little about, beyond anecdotal personal information.
I encourage you to be objective; really look at the amount of time you are WASTING on this "condition." Every second you spend online is a second of your life you have given to DP.
The mind is not as simple as a car engine; there isnt simply one little piece of it that is missing, which results in DP. Its magnificently complicated, and anyone who claims they have a cure, or that you should "look" for a cure, or that you should dig deep into your mind and identify the so-called "source" of DP, is talking out of their ass. All we know is the present, and in the present, you are wasting time trying to fix something that may or may not be broken.
Depersonalization is caused by something underlying; whether it be anxiety, trauma, abuse, or just having the simple predisposition to such a perspective. If someone were to understand their condition and get to the bottom of what legitimately caused it, erasing that part of their life (i.e trauma, anxiety, etc), then they would find relief from their detached perspective and, ultimately, recover from dissociation.
Can people have it forever? Sure, if they don't put an effort into solving it. However, most people will not because people want to fix their problems, not drown in them - especially something as frightening as dissociation.
Also, this whole concept of cure bothers me... You spend hours online forums, trying to "discover" a cure, trying different regimens, investigating a phenomenon that the world knows very little about, beyond anecdotal personal information.
I spend hours on a forum because I enjoy helping people out of tough situations; other people spend hours on the forum because they want to make friends or just have someone that will listen to them. You also say that this is a phenomenon that the world knows little about, but I beg to differ - many people experience depersonalization/derealization, these things are actually filed under "dissociative identity disorders" for doctors, therapists and licensed psychologists.
Not to mention there's this online community of 27,000 people that have helped pitch in to understand what they're dealing with - why do I know that this is good information? ...because almost every week, I see someone on this forum recover from that information. Whether the information gave them comfort or whether the information sent them to a medicine, it doesn't matter. The information that this community, several other communities, and health officials have found on this condition is exponential. The only reason that it's hard to get something that's concrete to everyone is because it's such an individualized condition.
I encourage you to be objective; really look at the amount of time you are WASTING on this "condition." Every second you spend online is a second of your life you have given to DP.
I don't think people wasting their time online is giving up time to their dissociation. If you're talking about the forums or implying that being on this website is something of inhibitor for recovery from dissociation, then I beg to differ. I recovered because of this site - helping people, understanding my condition and getting the information that I truly needed when no one else would talk to me. I'm sure a lot of people could say the same - plus, I don't look at this community as a place to get my answers, I look at this community as a place to make friends, meet people that I enjoy, and be a part of something that could potentially help someone.
anyone who claims they have a cure, or that you should "look" for a cure, or that you should dig deep into your mind and identify the so-called "source" of DP, is talking out of their ass.
People who get dissociation from past emotionally abuse shouldn't dig deep to help it, then? People who have high amounts of anxiety, that sometimes is crippling, should just allow it to happen? I respect your opinion, but I think a lot of the people on this site and around the world would rather step-up to the plate and fix their condition instead of allowing it to become part of them.
People may feel free to disagree with me and, if people recover from your method, then that's fantastic! Everyone has a right to think what they want and do what they want - different strokes, I guess. However, I'm going to stick by my opinion and say that the best thing you can do when you're in a perspective like this is to find a way out and fix what's broken. ...and, in my opinion, if you have dissociation against your will, something needs repairing.
I appreciate your points, Solomon. They do seem well thought out. And, overall, I agree:
With something as subjective as DP, there is no one clear answer, or absolute method of recovery. What works for me, did not work for you, and vice-versa. Ultimately, blog posts such as this one, in which healthy debate offers two valid points of view, is a good use of internet space and time.
However, I believe you can agree with me, that a slight majority of the posts on this website, are written by people who feel hopeless, and project that hopelessness with close-ended dialogue, like "I hate this" "why cant this go away" "its hopeless"
such language is, in my opinion, detrimental to one's state of mental health.
I would like to make one point clear, and that is that while one may have DP forever, clearly that is not the norm. MOST people recover with time.
However, I believe you can agree with me, that a slight majority of the posts on this website, are written by people who feel hopeless, and project that hopelessness with close-ended dialogue, like "I hate this" "why cant this go away" "its hopeless"
such language is, in my opinion, detrimental to one's state of mental health.
To be honest, these posts are far and few between.
I've seen some people on here that do that; make a post in the "How I Feel" sub-forum and vent their frustrations, in fact, I've done that very thing - however, I think you're leaving alone one core aspect of this website. It's peer-to-peer discussion and insight gathering. When people post in the "How I Feel" forum, you can see that people do't necessarily put the "I hate this" comment, but yet they define what they're feeling and push out their feelings, rather passionately, through their writing and posts.
This means that the person is not only looking for help, but is wanting to vent their frustrations and possibly come to a better conclusion and understanding of what they're feeling. Also, this is a form of expressive writing, which actually has many benefits which include:
Release from trauma.
Release from severe emotional distress.
More emotional intelligence.
Creativity boosts.
I could go on about expressive writing, but I think you understand my point. I do agree with you, that a slight majority of the posts on this website are written by people who feel hopeless, but I see that as a strength of the site, not a weakness. It allows discussion, help, companionship and a better attitude than before. Such language is very detrimental to one's health, but bottling up emotions and trying to carry out a positive attitude doesn't always work. Sometimes you have to break-down, cry, and vent your frustration before you can see the light inside of the storm.
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