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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I feel like heres no purpose of being here. Like everything is taken away. And left for nothing. Here was a moments what i wanted could last forever.. But these always came and went. Now for a so long time here havent being nothing which makes me feel alive again. It feels like i have seen this life already. And i feel like i have gone so deeply in this gave that im not gonna wake up anymore. It has never been this hard.i think i have never been this hopeless. Because it has happend too many times. My mind is mixed with this reality and my own stragness. Like im mixed of all kinds of things... Everything just seems so messy. I know that if i ever wanna get even somewhere i need push so hard. But i feel like i have no energy. My mind is always on my way to stop me. It feels like all is now so negative anymore.and all things what made me feel more connection is gone. Like i have given up. I dont know anymore how to survive. I know this shit already and im too hopeless. I cant fix this anymore. How to let go when everything is screaming inside me. That if i let go i gonna lose myself or something. I cant do this anymore. All is the wrong thing. Everything i do is wrong. Nothing keeps me going or in my way. Nothing brings me that clear awarness and focus. It is just so big mess! And i dont even know the reason why im like this. Why i dont have those parts anymore which connects me back to my inside truth and everyhting.. Like getting back to this life. I dont even get sense of it anymore. I have just accepted this crazyness.. I dont undertsand how i can be. Like probably most miserable human way of living. And when noone understands. I feel like im so bad state and it feels so crapy to go out. Feeling so diconnected and out of control and like noone knows it.. And then they think thats just how i am. When thats so far away from truth. Thats gives me so much pain and suffer.
Im just writing because i feel doing so... But yeah.. Heres just total nightmare. You can come to write here whatever you wantt.. I would like to hear about your fears or something you cant stand.
Right now heres everything i cant stand. No single thing is something i cam enjoy. Okay i find one.. It is drinking tea.
 

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I don't know for how long we are gonna say this things to ourselves DP is fooling us like an evil days are easily passing and we are missing them
But the thing is we must fool DP even if we don't like to go out anymore we must say I love to go out
Life is like a bike if you wanna balance then you have to keep moving
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Everything we want we need to add more it to our life.. And that just the hardest thing. Like i need to start pretending and doing all kinds of things if i want to get myself back. It feels heres too much resistance. Now i have been playing a victim.. Its just so hard..
 
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