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1170 Views 9 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  eclecticsheep
Ugh, so i'm getting the really bad thoughts again, about "how am I thinking what i'm thinking, how do i hear them, where do they come from?" I start to think about this and then I start to freak out thinking that I'll stop thinking somehow, and then I'll just crack and go insane or die. I'm worrying about schizophrenia again, sure that this is the prelude to it. I'm having really vivid dreams recently, so I'm sure that's a sign of something too. I know part of the problem is alcohol. I drink pretty much every other night, and I drink A LOT (like a 12 pack), but then I"ll have a bad day when I didn't drink the night before and think "what the hell, obviously its' not THAT." Sigh. I was feeling better for a while, but now i'm back down. I need a new therapist, i really think I do, but it's so damn hard to let him know that becuase he really likes me and I think he thinks he's helping me (because i'm not letting him know otherwiese). On the positive side, I may be getting a new job soon, as my current job is a major trigger for the dp.
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Oh my God and Hell Yes about grocery stores, I relate to what everybody said. My neighbor shops at a "Super Kroger" grocery cuz she says the small one near us is too sleazy and besides she has a horrible racist problem and says "How can you stand going to that store with al the "blacks"? Haaa..she's a trip. But I go to the smaller one simply b/cuz the aisles aren't as long.

agent cooper I busted a gut laughing at the sentence you wrote, "I shop when I'm drunk". I know its not funny for you but man I cracked up. so thanks for that. I havent laughed in a long time.

Scattered, you know the Cereal aisle is the most like a funhouse without the fun to me. I laughed at that line of yours too, so a double thanks.
Peaceboy dammit I wish I could make you stop thinkin you are schiz!!!
Be good to yourself.
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