The immensity of confliction i feel within myself on a daily basis is wearing me down far too much. Growing up in such a religious household has lead me to become so confused in the current fast paced science world we live in today.
I believe that with science, theories can be proven or disproven.
Whereas with religion, i feel as though its all a theory based on faith.
One of my big morals are "do not speak out of line" so if a topic comes up that i do not know much of, i wont enforce my little knowledge on others, because i know it may lead them wrong.
So this makes me question, why would my family lead an innocent young mind onto a path that they "think" they know about, simply because of their faith?
I personally believe in God, and will willfully worship God for the beautifully flawless system of life that was created by God.
Its not God im confused about, its religion.
I see too much corruption. If relgion is all about peace and bringing everyone together, then why are there so many different types of Islamic beliefs? Or so many extreme Christans? Why are there so many different religeons separating us when religion is about living together in harmony to find peace within?
My dillema is that i have far to many questions, growing by the day and leaving me deeper in my lost state of Derealization. And anyone i turn to will quote a verse from there holy book and expect my doubts to be set free, when my doubt is about relgion its self.
It doesnt make sense to me. Peace love and acceptance, is what every religion is about. And theyre all beautiful, i just feel in my heart that too many will put me down for my natural thoughts, and simply say "its just satan/sheydan whispering in your ear".
These conflictions are growing, and its distancing me from everything. Because its not just this specific topic i am conflicted about. The concept of friends, family, education, money and more conflict me so much! I feel like i think too far out the box when it comes too natural to me! I dont want to supress my natural mind flow, but i need a new step to take. I need to find the right place to search for my answers.