[jc]

so here i am 4 years into my second bout of dp ,im drink free and my diet is very healthy,im not working and i get out everyday for walks and exercise and get on with the basic things in life...
this morning i awoke and it was just horrific im not sure if it was because my sleep pattern has been erratic but the first thing ive noticed lately is that my parents and my surroundings are becomming very very unfamiler,,,im not sure if this is because im sober or because of my lack of sleep....but this morning i mentally felt as though i was in another world i didnt feel grounded i felt as though i was lost with no-where to hide,its very hard to describe but i know that i had to control my panic..
will i ever get used to this state of mind ? i really dont know anymore,on the upside i attended therepy today and felt better afterwards but this morning really knocked me for six i just felt totally unreal and not belonging to anything....
this illness really sucks and im not sure if what im experiencing is dp or a nervous breakdown but i really do need to get used to this because its not getting easier even after all of my efforts...four years is a long time and i should have gotten used to this by now,the only solution i can see to this is by maybe smoking weed,i know that the anxiety and panic is causing my mental state to be disturbed and pills dont do anything for me so i really dont know what avenues to take anymore....im a normal human being my thought patterns are rational i interact with people like a normal human being yet my anxious mind causes me to be locked into internal thoughts...its a condition that i dont like and its ruining my life....
a main point that i made in therepy was that as a child i was always scared of my mother leaving my side,you know if i was in a supermarket and i couldnt see her id panic,well i grew into a man and that all changed i was very independant,now sonce dp and my anxiety i seem to have turned into that little child again that needs someone by there side again,its a very very starnge time in my life

peace of mind is all i want

cheers

j.c

 

[Chris]

I'm going through the EXACT thing. 4 years of DP. all of a sudden this month, its skyrocketed to new heights. Nothing is real anymore. Im fading fast and can'thandle it.

 

[jc]

i would have thought that after 4 years we would be used to this crap,and considering im on a clean health kick at the moment i thought id be better but i was just burning with anxiety this morning and i was scared out of my brain....
i know i need routine but its just so difficult to find routine in a life so empty due to restrictions brought on by anxiety

 

[[rula]]

lack of sleep is my biggest DP trigger. i don't claim to be no DP expert, only been there for 5 months, but have you considered looking into your breathing? there's a theory that DP is aggrevated/caused by chronic hyperventilation (a very subtle form of overbreathing). all it takes is one event (that one bad trip) to trigger hyperventilation, then an anxious mind, worries, fears, lack of sleep and even exercise all feed it. i dunno, sounds like you're doing everything else right...-rula

 

[Guest]

how long have you been sober- if it has just been fairly recently, then your body is STILL adjusting to being without everything you were previously involved in. It sounds like you both (JC and CHRIS) are in a strange place. try to remind yourself that YOU have control over your self. i think that is what has gotten me through tough days...? Just remionding me that i am not a robot....weven if i FEEL like one today I am a human being and i control my actions.are you on any meds? taking them regularly? that WILL have an effect on everything you do if you are not taking meds consistently. Hang in there noth of you- and everyone is here to try and help and remember that you arent alone- and try your best to relax. good luck----today

 

[Guest]

NO POT! dont do it...at least i disagree with that solution- that will only add to your suffering. many dp episodes can be triggered by that...so please- try adn keep your mind and body clean even if you are tempted to NUMB it away temporarily...... :wink:

 

[jc]

i just see so many people smoking pot and they all seem happy and chilled out without a care in the world

 

[dakotajo]

Hey Jc,

When you quit drinking did you also stop popping Klonopin? Quitting alcohol while still using Klonopin is defeating the purpose. Once off all this crap it can take many months for your body to adjust back to a healthy state.

 

[jc]

no im going to stick with my little dose of k ....in all fairness its the only med thats kept me stable

 

[Guest]

hey JC not trying to be your mommy---i have just had a bad "relapse"(and my friend (dp)) as welland just didnt want you to end up there anyway..its not a fun place...also i haev heard from others i have read about that thier dp/dr worsened after an episode of pot...whatever works for you buddy!

 

[dakotajo]

Well Jc,

Then I certainly wouldnt consider youself living healthy right now. You gave up all the unhealthy things in your life except the most unhealthy of them all...benzos?

 

[Guest]

Man, I could not be any more reminded of myself in this post. This sounds like classic benzo tolerance. Everything you said describes how I felt. I feel for ya JC. People here or elsewhere will tell you that the K is harmless and not causing a single problem when it could very well the thing that is causing you to feel so bad. I am praying you see the truth man.