there are 2 or 3 types of depersonalization disorder

1. dpd stemming from childhood abuse and accumulated minor traumatic events, emotional abuse (the most dangerous part is, if you did it to yourself), bullying over a long period with almost no way out (even your friends and loved ones did it), self hate, self sabotaging, delusion of being severely ugly.

2. dpd stemming from a major trauma. this could be sudden death of loved one, car crash, near death, kidnapping, raping (without escape and over a long time), being stuck in an elevator or other tight places, BAD TRIP FROM ANY KIND OF DRUGS (!!!).

3. chronic symptoms of dpd due to merely chronic anxiety.

and here begins the problem with „i have recovered so you can also“ or „just ignore it and dont think about it“. people are giving good advice for the wrong job. or vice versa. you can not fill a diesel with gasoline it wont work at all.

fortunately, i can say from experience about the above mentioned points, that i overcame the second and the third version (for me it was a combination: drug trip, and then chronic anxiety) relatively easily. and after 6-7 symptom free years i got hit from the first mentioned point. and this is the type of dpd where people recover very very very very hard and need a long period of time and treatment.

what im doing now is just coping, and using the strong side of my personality. just doing everything what i would do usually. but i dont do this to recover. it helps me very well to hide the symptoms and push them to the background, so i can have a pretty decent day to day life. this allows me to have a good sleep. i also dont want to accept that im „mentally ill“. ffs i cant see myself as mentally ill because my performance as a productive human being is decent. yeah everything feels unreal and 2d and it doesnt make fun or give joy but fuck it i lived more than 27 years without these symptoms so it was enough. life wont be great, even if i recover. so i can handle the rest of my life to help my loved ones and people who are in need of help.

but i know exactly what my mind needs to recover. the only thing is, i cant explain that in words. i cant find words to do that. anyways