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The weirdest experience I ever had.

649 Views 2 Replies 2 Participants Last post by  NickD
I thought I would share this since it seems a lot of DP sufferers have started experiencing this after smoking weed.

I've had DP/DR since my first panic attack in 1994 (every single day)! I describe it like a volume tuner on any sound device. I can't turn it off it's always on but sometimes it's more quiet, sometimes it loud as hell.

Back to the topic, the first time I smoke weed was in 05-06 if I remember. I wanted to do it by my terms and not because I was pressured to do so. Needless to say I had a huge bad trip because I smoked way too much and I was in a completely crippling panic attack. However, there something I did notice. I was moving through every state of consciousness including my non DP self! The only way I can describe it was like a wave. Going from almost gone to fully aware (non DP) then back down to gone and so on and so forth. It didn't last long but it was the only time I was back.

Fast forward in 2019 and I'm still in the same mood (did the whole 10 step).

Anyone ever experience something like this? A psychologist once told me that I was stuck in an emotive state (I lost my mom in 1993 hence why I had my first panic attack afterwards).
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Sorry, it wasn't from the spiritual aspect of it but rather from a "cure" perspective. Consciousness probably isn't the right word.

What I meant was going through the phases of sleep from not being awake (literally seeing dark) to feeling like my old self pre-depersonalization. But it was happening so fast that I couldn't concentrate on what was going on.

Just that for brief periods, I felt my depersonalization and derealization totally gone which goes against every stories I've read from people with DP/DR concerning cannabis uses.
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