[mcsiegs]

My girlfriend was saying that she wants to go on a cruise with me.

I would love to, and I always wanted to, but I always had a fear of being out in the ocean where I can't see land.

Does anyone get freaked out at the following thoughts (by the way - it has nothing to do with DP/DR because I am free these days of both, and I still have anxiety at these thoughts):

1. The ocean is HUGE.
2. I get freaked out to think that I may be sailing over water depth of over 100 miles.
3. The ocean is open and flat. Nowhere else to go when you are on the boat.

Any advice to calm the anxiety?

 

[moonDust]

Sounds funny but...

I used to play Microsoft Flight Simulator for many times, and i had the same "fear" when leaving the coast line and flying above the non-end dark see, well... i just popped up the GPS board (-:

 

[Shadow Cat]

3. The ocean is open and flat. Nowhere else to go when you are on the boat.

I have that same kind of thing. I can sometimes become anxious if I'm in a wide open space and I can't go anywhere.

 

[kchendrix]

I tend to fear almost all traveling for some reason.....

 

[mcsiegs]

Me too KChendrix. I never used to, but I get really nervous about leaving my home base these days.

Last night I had a dream that I had to fly somewhere at the spur of the moment, and as I was getting on the plane, I realized I didn't have my meds with me...Much to real of a dream.

 

[kchendrix]

I know,,,I would like to go so many places, but the fear of how I feel holds me back... I used to Travel to Pittsburgh about once a month and because of how I feel I am afraid to.. Going to work every day and small local ventures don't bother me , but If I had to go somewhere like this now,,I don't know if I could handle it right now.

Wierd.. Fear is a crippling thing and why....it just doesn't make sense.

 

[CECIL]

Nope I love the ocean (except sea sickness). The feeling of wind blowing in your face and the salt spraying you is very liberating. If nothing else, think of the fish.

 

[Guest]

i love being in transit. it makes me feel alive. no one is more important than someone in transit; you've things to do, people to see.

 

[Da'Burgh]

... I used to Travel to Pittsburgh

That's cool... what did you enjoy doing here?

 

[sming]

Any advice to calm the anxiety?

Plenty of advice. None that's likely to work :roll:

I once read that you're more likely to die from your own trousers than dying in an airplane crash. That's the sort of thing that helps me - it shows that you can die from pretty much anything so why worry about flying if it's not likely to kill you?

This, of course, is based on my assumption that it's a fear of death that's underlying your fear of open water.

p.s. I hope this post does not start a plague of trouserphobia.

 

[bright23]

Hey mcsciegs ?

Maybe you just don't like the ocean? That's quite possible and totally normal.

I personally can't stand it. Flat open water makes me think of the hopeless VOID. Add to that the prosepect of being stuck on a boat full of vacationers with no escape? Dreadful.

Perhaps a cruise vacation is not for you. If that's the case nothing will "cure" you of it.

I prefer mountains and camping. Just got back tonight in fact. Campfire, smores, hiking, nude bathing with my girlfriend, hundreds of spiders. Not exactly in that order though...

 

[kchendrix]

Used to come up on business about once a month , luckily for now I can take care of a lot remotely with computers, Office was in Bridgeville if you know where that is ... I just kind of hung out , enjoyed sitting in the bar and meeting knew people.. That was before all this.. Stayed at the Greetree Holiday in a lot, also the Hilton Garden inn ,I forget the name of that town,, Cannons,,something.

 

[mcsiegs]

Bright23 - so logical. Makes sense to me.

Maybe I will take my girlfriend on one of those mountain excursions.

Thanks!

Also - thanks to all for responding! You are all so caring.

 

[bright23]

glad to be of help...

Sometimes we need to follow our GUT instincts, and other times we need to go against what our gut is telling us because our gut instincts are contaminated by unreasonable FEAR and ANXIETY. Its usually hard for us to see this difference, so that's why this forum is so great, and why asking other's opions is really helpful. FRIENDS ARE GOOD FOR THIS REASON.

 

[sming]

Its usually hard for us to see this difference, so that's why this forum is so great, and why asking other's opions is really helpful.

Too true! Only yesterday I was sat in my flat, feeling sh_t-scared due to the weird light outside. My g/f said "well why not close the blinds, if this light make you feel sh_t". I did and felt a bit better. If she hadn't have said that, I'd have sat there, not wanting to avoid something that I irrationally fear.

The balance between making changes in your life and standing up to irrational fear/thinking is indeed very, very hard to strike.

 

[mcsiegs]

Sming - your message sort of made me laugh...Sounded like a sitcom.

Sming: The light bothers me
Sming's girl: Well, close the damn blinds (audience laughter)
Sming: SO obvious. I would have sat here all day (audience laughter)
Sming's girl: That's why I love you. So helpless. (audience laughter).

Only messin with ya. You gave me a smile for the afternoon.

 

[sming]

Sming's girl: That's why I love you. So helpless. (audience laughter).

Only messin with ya. You gave me a smile for the afternoon.

glad to be of service!

I believe the phrase she uses in such situations is:
"oh, you're so cute"

i.e. you're such a dimwit

 

[Guest]

fear of the ocean has never been an issue - it has actually always been an escape. surfing has always been the thing that has made me the happiest - and still is to some extent, but not as much as it used to. when i am at a beach or out in the water, i feel free. but it really depends on the circumstance. like surfing alone on a desolate beach, or in the fog, etc. or being out at see in a heavy storm really scares the crap out of me.
but, i always feel rejunvinated after spending time in the water.

 

[peaceboy23]

Yes, I am afraid of the ocean as well...it's so vast and I understand completely the feeling of no escape on a cruise. I always half-joke that I need to be within twenty five mile radius of a hospital at all times, so if i have a heart attack or something of the sort i can be rushed there.

Something odd happened this weekend, however. I went to Atlantic City with my brother and twelve other people for his bachelor party, and i was absolutely dreading it. I was sure it would be awful. The trip up there wasn't all that good, I had some problems, as I do sometiems when i'm on a road trip somewhere. When we go to Atlantic city, with all the lights and sounds, I had a little dp/dr. Then, i was dp/dr free for the rest of the trip. I had a bad experience on the way back, but all in all it was great. I was really surprised, but I think that the fear we have for things is much worse than the actual thing itself (although this is pretty much basic psychology.) I remember reading in another post that someone thinks about walking across their office and they start to get upset thinking about hwo they will feel. I have this same problem, but the fear is much worse than actually doing it. OK i've rambled on long enough, and I think I have a point, mainly that, no matter how hard it is, sometimes we have to just say "f you" to the fear and just go ahed and do what we're afraid of, forcing ourselves to not think so much.