G
Guest
·It all started when I was about 10-11 years old. I was playing in the garden with some kids, when suddenly everything changed. It was as if the light changed, making things seem unreal, and I felt that nothing made sense. It didn't last very long, but I have never forgotten the incident.
Years later, when I was in High School, I felt strangely different and wrong compared to the other kids. I was very quiet and anxious. I felt strange walking around in the city, as if I was fleeing from something. Also, my body felt strange.
At age 20, I moved to the "big city" to attend University. The first years went really well and I was feeling better.
At age 25 my girlfriend breaks up with me and everything changes again. She was very important to me, but I had closed her out from my thoughts and pushed her away from me. I think of suicide for the first time, and start to read self-help books, which only makes things worse! It is as if I become a prisoner of my mind. The outside world matters very little to me. I walk through the streets in a mixture of anxiety and dreamlike reality.
When I'm 28, things get worse. I feel very weird and I'm convinced that I'm going insane. I go to see my doctor, who tells me I have a depression. He gives me some pills, but they don't work very well. A year after, a social worker, who had been on "my case", sends me to a psychiatric centre. They tell me that I have a schizophrenic disorder, and give me some Zyprexa. After a couple of days, I feel my thought clearing up. It is as if I can think again, and I feel much better. I finish my master's degree in science and get a really good job. Things go well for about 4-5 years.
Then suddenly, at a meeting in the company in which I work, I get this strange weird/unreal feeling, as I everything is a dream. It goes away after 1-2 hours, but it scares me. After that, things start to go wrong at work. I can't concentrate on what I'm doing, and let others do my work. It gets worse, and in May 2002, I leave my job. I've tried to go back, but it's just the same thing over and over again.
The doctors try different types of medication: Zyprexa, Risperdal, Zeldox, Solean and Abilfy, but nothing really makes a difference. In 2003 I get worse again, and the DP/DR symptoms become very obvious. In September 2004 it gets worse again - anxiety, and a feeling of dreamlike weirdness and unreality.
At the moment, I don't have a job. When I get up in the morning, the symptoms are almost gone. But around 2pm, or sometimes around 6pm, I start feeling really weird again. I also feel a lot of anxiety. For example, I don't like leaving the house, or going very far away from home. It's better when there's someone with me. I take one or two Clonazepam every day, and it helps, but I'm afraid to get addicted to them!
Years later, when I was in High School, I felt strangely different and wrong compared to the other kids. I was very quiet and anxious. I felt strange walking around in the city, as if I was fleeing from something. Also, my body felt strange.
At age 20, I moved to the "big city" to attend University. The first years went really well and I was feeling better.
At age 25 my girlfriend breaks up with me and everything changes again. She was very important to me, but I had closed her out from my thoughts and pushed her away from me. I think of suicide for the first time, and start to read self-help books, which only makes things worse! It is as if I become a prisoner of my mind. The outside world matters very little to me. I walk through the streets in a mixture of anxiety and dreamlike reality.
When I'm 28, things get worse. I feel very weird and I'm convinced that I'm going insane. I go to see my doctor, who tells me I have a depression. He gives me some pills, but they don't work very well. A year after, a social worker, who had been on "my case", sends me to a psychiatric centre. They tell me that I have a schizophrenic disorder, and give me some Zyprexa. After a couple of days, I feel my thought clearing up. It is as if I can think again, and I feel much better. I finish my master's degree in science and get a really good job. Things go well for about 4-5 years.
Then suddenly, at a meeting in the company in which I work, I get this strange weird/unreal feeling, as I everything is a dream. It goes away after 1-2 hours, but it scares me. After that, things start to go wrong at work. I can't concentrate on what I'm doing, and let others do my work. It gets worse, and in May 2002, I leave my job. I've tried to go back, but it's just the same thing over and over again.
The doctors try different types of medication: Zyprexa, Risperdal, Zeldox, Solean and Abilfy, but nothing really makes a difference. In 2003 I get worse again, and the DP/DR symptoms become very obvious. In September 2004 it gets worse again - anxiety, and a feeling of dreamlike weirdness and unreality.
At the moment, I don't have a job. When I get up in the morning, the symptoms are almost gone. But around 2pm, or sometimes around 6pm, I start feeling really weird again. I also feel a lot of anxiety. For example, I don't like leaving the house, or going very far away from home. It's better when there's someone with me. I take one or two Clonazepam every day, and it helps, but I'm afraid to get addicted to them!
