A couple of weeks ago I felt really depressed one night due to the constant feeling of fear that was overriding my other emotions. I was lying in bed feeling sorrow for myself and felt like giving up but in that sorrow was also some comfort for I felt so much 'in my skin' which was a million times better than feeling fear and DP/DR.
the Requiem factor
This is loosely connected to DP/DR itself, and since I am not certain if I have DP/DR, this makes it have even moore loose connection. But I understand that since DP/DR is both, a product and a producer, this will become interesting for some people that, like me, extract satisfaction from misery... or at least, they maintain such an illusion.
I am writing using an example myself. It may be useful to see "the self-achknowledgement thing".
What is the "Requiem factor"? The brieaf answer would be: "When was the last time you enjoyed sorrow?"...
Happyness is a different thing than satisfaction.
Freud said that happyness is the (preferably sudden) satisfaction of needs. And as a "need", we mean anything that is desirable: "I need to drive this car", "I need to talk to her", etc.
Yet there are satisfactions that exist only because of mistaken opinions.
But there are no wrong opinions, there are only the opinions that we have. The opinions that makes us the people we are. The choises that we make. And usually, we behave like stupid "black boxes", and we resist to recieve new elements... as if the initial ones (elements) were recieved have to be correct "by definition". Bullshit! The (my) human brain is lazy and just doesn't want to reconsider opinions. The older the opinion, the greater the resistance to reconsider.
In my opinion (yes, yet another "opinion"), narcisism is the case behind enjoying sorrow. How? When you feel wronged and mistaken, then... self-achknowledgement comes... unavoidably. And no! I don't think that the possibility of this, beeing, in fact, a coping mechanism that converts our pain into "pleasure".
Could, however, this, be a thurst for sentiments? I have thought of that: "I need so badly to feel alive that even sorrow would be something better than this... emptyness". I don't have the answer.
How do we bring ourselves infront of the "happyness of sorrow"? A lack of self-confidence, a need to feel important, a family that gives a lot, or not at all, of those two elements, or an enviroment that makes it so easy for us... The result? We form directives that drive us
to enjoy, or even seek sorrow in order to trigger the injustice-sentiment and gives us pleasure by saying things to us like: "you are not responsible for this", "you suffer", "you deserve more". Yet... If we manage to fully understand all the things that this sorrow involves, we will feel really stupid that seeked (or reaquested) for something like this. We will understand that our lives are more important that the image of the "wronged person that deserved more" that we try to satisfy.
Maybe this the key... That we want to feel that we deserver more.
I admit that a significant part of the literature I have created till today (no, nothing important, like 80% of the population does) is about sorrow. And I understand that a significant part of the global, and much-respected, literature is about sorrow.. And I mean really-respected writers. Is this a global phenomenon? Am I wrong, and it is good for people to feel like this? Or.. It is because these writers want to make us, the audience, understand that we are so goddamn (I know, I am beeing westernized, but how am I going to become scrutable) lucky to have our little-borring lives, instead of what the novel's hero is going through. And maybe this is the awe and respect that the audience is paying to those writers. [Of cource, it could be that the writer is in fact trying to assign adventures and guns with the bad results, but that's the moral goals of the writer, but that's another discussion]
Ending this note, I would like to make clear that people who have alike thoughts are not that few... I mean... as we think we are. How many times have you seen a sad end, and enjoyed it more than a happy one? You see, till some point, the "Requiem factor" is an element of maturity... because not all things in life end in a good way (a.k.a. "happy end"), and thus it is necessary to accept it as reality. I don't know if, the fact of feeling --in a way-- good with sad things, is a coping mechanism against the "cruel reality" ("cruel world"), or an acceptance of the things happening around us... But I think that, to request a movie/novel to act like this is an outcome of it.
Here is two relative (I think) stories:
- The soundtrack and storyline of "Requiem for a dream"
- The soundtrack and storyline of "Max Payne 2: the fall of Max Payne"
god... who writes this stuff?
No, seriously... it would be a hellua ("a hell lot") more interesting talking such things in person. I guess I am unlucky, because the only person I can talk things like this is (I think that he will be in possition to do so) the shrink I will visit inside this month. And still don't know what he will say. I don't forget that he is a professional. It's good that there is this board, although I fear that I am using it in an undue way.
I am writing using an example myself. It may be useful to see "the self-achknowledgement thing".
What is the "Requiem factor"? The brieaf answer would be: "When was the last time you enjoyed sorrow?"...
Happyness is a different thing than satisfaction.
Freud said that happyness is the (preferably sudden) satisfaction of needs. And as a "need", we mean anything that is desirable: "I need to drive this car", "I need to talk to her", etc.
Yet there are satisfactions that exist only because of mistaken opinions.
But there are no wrong opinions, there are only the opinions that we have. The opinions that makes us the people we are. The choises that we make. And usually, we behave like stupid "black boxes", and we resist to recieve new elements... as if the initial ones (elements) were recieved have to be correct "by definition". Bullshit! The (my) human brain is lazy and just doesn't want to reconsider opinions. The older the opinion, the greater the resistance to reconsider.
In my opinion (yes, yet another "opinion"), narcisism is the case behind enjoying sorrow. How? When you feel wronged and mistaken, then... self-achknowledgement comes... unavoidably. And no! I don't think that the possibility of this, beeing, in fact, a coping mechanism that converts our pain into "pleasure".
Could, however, this, be a thurst for sentiments? I have thought of that: "I need so badly to feel alive that even sorrow would be something better than this... emptyness". I don't have the answer.
How do we bring ourselves infront of the "happyness of sorrow"? A lack of self-confidence, a need to feel important, a family that gives a lot, or not at all, of those two elements, or an enviroment that makes it so easy for us... The result? We form directives that drive us
to enjoy, or even seek sorrow in order to trigger the injustice-sentiment and gives us pleasure by saying things to us like: "you are not responsible for this", "you suffer", "you deserve more". Yet... If we manage to fully understand all the things that this sorrow involves, we will feel really stupid that seeked (or reaquested) for something like this. We will understand that our lives are more important that the image of the "wronged person that deserved more" that we try to satisfy.
Maybe this the key... That we want to feel that we deserver more.
I admit that a significant part of the literature I have created till today (no, nothing important, like 80% of the population does) is about sorrow. And I understand that a significant part of the global, and much-respected, literature is about sorrow.. And I mean really-respected writers. Is this a global phenomenon? Am I wrong, and it is good for people to feel like this? Or.. It is because these writers want to make us, the audience, understand that we are so goddamn (I know, I am beeing westernized, but how am I going to become scrutable) lucky to have our little-borring lives, instead of what the novel's hero is going through. And maybe this is the awe and respect that the audience is paying to those writers. [Of cource, it could be that the writer is in fact trying to assign adventures and guns with the bad results, but that's the moral goals of the writer, but that's another discussion]
Ending this note, I would like to make clear that people who have alike thoughts are not that few... I mean... as we think we are. How many times have you seen a sad end, and enjoyed it more than a happy one? You see, till some point, the "Requiem factor" is an element of maturity... because not all things in life end in a good way (a.k.a. "happy end"), and thus it is necessary to accept it as reality. I don't know if, the fact of feeling --in a way-- good with sad things, is a coping mechanism against the "cruel reality" ("cruel world"), or an acceptance of the things happening around us... But I think that, to request a movie/novel to act like this is an outcome of it.
Here is two relative (I think) stories:
- The soundtrack and storyline of "Requiem for a dream"
- The soundtrack and storyline of "Max Payne 2: the fall of Max Payne"
god... who writes this stuff?
No, seriously... it would be a hellua ("a hell lot") more interesting talking such things in person. I guess I am unlucky, because the only person I can talk things like this is (I think that he will be in possition to do so) the shrink I will visit inside this month. And still don't know what he will say. I don't forget that he is a professional. It's good that there is this board, although I fear that I am using it in an undue way.
