I was LITERALLY about to post this! This is exactly how I think and feel!!! I have found it very difficult to describe how I feel but this is exactly the thoughts and feelings I have had recently.NO SERIOUSLY YES YES YES YES ABSOLUTELY 100% AGREE!! FINALLY!!! This is exactly how I feel!!!!!! I have always had these existential thoughts, but the past few months I've been a train wreck when I'm thinking about them. But when I distract myself, it feels like I'm just "coasting" through life. It's glorious and amazing to feel anxiety free.... But in retrospect, I don't feel like I'm actually "living" because In wasn't thinking about how weird life is.
Has anybody ever tried to write down, when they are feeling a bit more "real" and "with it"? I always find referring back to it I never believe what I have written down and that I
have always felt the way I currently do. Its like, I am pretty sure ive always felt like this, havent i? But surely not...
Then I think back to times when I didn't feel it and I was like, was I just existing on a different plane of existence then. Just motoring through life and not really thinking about existence?
Its like de-realization makes everything feel MORE real and because of anxiety, we worry about it.
Again, iterating how I actually feel is very difficult