[Guest]

Over this past week or so ive probably spent a total of maybe 20 minutes on this website. But thats not really the point of my post...........

OK, now im almost positive most of you will not and cannot relate to my current situation but i feel like i have to get something off of my chest.

This is the ironic part to the turn my life has taken. As many of you know, or maybe may not know, Marijuana was ultimatley the trigger for my DP/DR, the DP i still question, and the sudden onslaught of this anxiety disorder. I haven't even considered getting high throughout the last 10 months. As i explained in a previous post, an old friend of mine who ive known for a long time moved back to the neighborhood and i have been hanging around with him alot. He's a wild kid & has all sorts of issues, but i consider him a good friend. Through hanging around with him i realized that there is still a large demand for marijuana.

I currently have a regular job and i make decent money, however more money can always be made. For obvious reasons, or maybe not so obvious, depending on who you are, im not going to mention any specificis about any of this. The thing is now, i have a conscience when it comes to anything involving marijuana. And i think about the irony in the fact that the thing that triggered the whole anxiety onslaught, in a way coud be back in my life or is back in my life.......

In years past i didn't have this conscience, i simply didn't give a fuck, i didn't care about irony, i just did what i did and that was it. Now im constantly thinking about everything im doing and analyzing my situations and everything around me. Even if things become lucrative for me, i got this extra conscience about things. I guess i basically just look at business situations as a experiment to see what happens. Its a cold world out there & the world im in is even colder, the things i see would give you frostbite, metaphorically speaking of course. Its rough out here in these streets, I also think about my parents & family, you know i want to make them proud, and i obviously have musical talents and i guess im an intelligent person, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Im not some grimey street punk, i know what im doing, but in a way, intellectually i second guess what im doing & am not totally sure what i should be doing. Im kind of just going along with things. I want to be a happy person & live a good life, but that road seems a long ways away from me right now.

I guess you could say in a way, i am epitomizing what it means to be ironic...............................

Hope you can understand what im saying, because i really didn't intend for this post to be straight foward for a number of reasons.

Peace

 

[peacedove]

Hmmm... I have also noticed there's a large demand for some certain prescription stuff. My thing with this is I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone going nuts or ODing or anything like that. You can't really OD with marijuana, but as all of us on this board know... it can cause DP. So would someone want that lingering over them...?

Money is necessary unfortunately... I am extremely unstable financially (and in many other ways...) so stuff like this ponders in my mind. Maybe I don't know what you're saying. I'm pretty fucking tired.

This wild kid that has all sorts of issues.... are you sure he is a real friend? And even if he is please be careful. I have hung out with wild people with lots of issues and a lot of bad shit has happened to me because of it... including almost being locked up on some serious charges when I didn't even do anything...

Just thought I'd comment.

PEACE!

 

[enngirl5]

Well, when you're in college everyone is poor. Just try to hang on while your in school and when you get out get a good job and that's it. You don't have to do things that make you uncomfortable just to get by. You live at home so bills shouldn't be too much of a problem. I don't know. If it makes you feel bad don't do it, if not I dont know. Just try not to get in trouble. But I don't think it's the worst thing in the world. Also, you can get student loans whike you're in school to help you get by. Go to the student financial aid office and ask about it. Take care soul bro.

 

[Magneto]

It is a good source of money SB, I won't deny that.

But you yourself have noted the most important implication of what you are doing: that you could be aiding another's entry into the world of DP/DR. That, in my mind, should be reason enough to keep you from promoting the use of marijuana, much less selling it.

Don't get me wrong - it goes without saying that someone who wants to buy weed is going to get it, whether they get it from you or the next guy in line. And while this may seem ample justification for selling, that the money is better in your hands than another's, this merely clouds the reality of the situation which you yourself have learned the hard way.

The reality is that the drug is still powerful, and dangerous. You know it firsthand, as do I. There would be no DP/DR for me without marijuana, period. The amount of joy I gained from marijuana could never counterbalance the amount of pain I have already felt, let alone that I expect to feel in the future. Had there been some magical way of "sampling" DP/DR in order to understand a possible effect marijuana could have on you, I would have never touched the stuff. However, lacking this magical method and basically any other deterrant from using marijuana other than "This is your brain on drugs", what can possible keep people from using marijuana? From risking, however infintesimally small the odds, the chance at a life without DP/DR? You can my friend. And I can. All of us can, and should. Horror stories concerning "hard drugs" are easy enough to find - everyone knows that people OD on heroin, on cocaine, that people have died after ingestion of a single ecstasy tab and so on. Marijuana however sneaks around as a "soft drug" - where are its horror stories? I certainly had never heard any as I was growing up... of people ODing, of people turning into strung out addicts, of it ruining lives. I now know a horror story - my own. And I will tell my horror story to anyone I know who uses marijuana. They deserve to properly know the consequences, a luxury that you and I did not have.

If you and I don't do it SoulBrotha, who will? Let me know what you think.

Peace,
Magneto

 

[Guest]

Magneto i agree in the fact that it isn't always the " safe" drug that people say it is. But there are people who have been smoking it their whole entire lives i.e. Rastafarians, & a closer to home example is my friends grandfather, hes been smoking it his whole life & still smokes it now. Also remember not everyone is prone to DP/DR & Anxiety disorders, and thats why people can smoke it. Alot of people LOVE it & love how it makes them feel. I heard a commercial today from some campaign trying to legalize it. Can marijuana ruin lives? I honestly think thats all up to the person in most cases. Theres many successful people, such as celebrities & atheles who smoke marijuana. Personally i will never smoke it again, but i do realize it was only a trigger ,to lots of underlying issues i already had that should have been dealt with. On my way home tonight i was driving through these project houses near my house & some guy comes up to my car and is like " hey man do you have any ROCKS" he looked like a complete mess. If you don't know Rocks are slang for Crack. I felt bad man, i was like NOW THATS A DRUG THAT WILL FUCK UP YOUR LIFE. Drugs like that is where the money is, but i could never deal with that shit, it would make me depressed seeing people spending all of their money to smoke a rock. Its sad man, people pawn their TV'S & living appliances just to get high. That shit is depressing, i don't care how much money you can make, that shit goes way beyond my morals. Plus you are at such a great risk of getting killed or getting locked up. Anyways now im rambling.

When it comes to marijuana people know from the jump if they can handle it. Shit i smoked for like 2 and a half years before any DP/DR came along. I thought i could tolerate it fine. I dunno ........ Life is so confusing.

 

[DutchMark]

Difficult one here, my DP is also THC induced. But marijuhana is not a realy bad drug, I will never use it anymore that's for sure.
But I used marijuhana on a daily base for years and it never harmed me. And with some people it won't do anything. Getting DP from marijuhana is not realy the because you smoked. It's more that DP was already in you and marijuhana brought it on the foreground.
As with the selling marijuhana thing, I can't realy relate to that since i'm from holland and here you just walk in one of the many coffeeshops and get your stuff, people would be laughing out loud if you would sell marijuhana on the street. Thats holland and that's good about it! 8)
So I don't realy think selling marijuhana is wrong because it's a bad drug. alcohol is a bad drug... :?

 

[Guest]

Well, all I'll add is this: when something illegal seems easy and lucrative, we should ask ourselves what is the worst that could happen?

If you can't think of anything worse than living with dp/dr and obsessions and depression, try to imagine living with dp/dr, obsessions and depression from a prison cell.

Think twice.

You are not untouchable. Everything thinks they are when they enter such an endeavor.

Think three times.

Then think again.

Peace,
J

 

[Magneto]

Saying that DP/DR is "dormant" in people, and simply brought out by marijuana is debatable. We can never truly know if this is or isn't the case. Regardless of the true answer, it is beside the point. The fact remains that DP/DR would very likely never have "come to be" without marijuana - in my case I can say this with near 100% certainty, and I'm sure others would agree. Look at the number of people who associate their DP/DR with some sort of marijuana use... the connection is clearly there.

And regardless of the number of people who do not get DP/DR from smoking marijuana, and regardless of how much these people enjoy it, in my mind the loss of life far outweighs any of these positive aspects. If even a single person could be saved from DP/DR by the entire world abstaining from marijuana it would be worth it. Now some of you may be thinking of a parallel situation: the use of many prescription drugs which save/improve lives while unfortunately causing some fatalities. I'm sorry to say that this is really not a parallel at all. The prescription medications I mention treat medical illness and disease. Noone however, outside of those very few prescribed it medically, needs marijuana to enjoy life. In my opinion the happiest people I know are those that never got mixed up with drugs at all, which says a lot.

In Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas you see a billboard at the beginning of the movie which says something along the lines of "Don't gamble with Marijuana - 20 years to life". I wish I lived in that time and place, maybe things would be different for me.

And it needn't be said that I am biased being DP/DR thank you

Let me know what you guys think,
Magneto

 

[bat]

there use to be a large demand for tamazepam. people used it for coming down off other stuff and then found they wanted/needed it.

magneto
although i smoked alot at times i dont think it contributed to my dp. i know other drugs were responsible for that. i do agree with you; i don't believe i would have experienced dp if i had never taken rec drugs

 

[DutchMark]

So magneto, what do you want to do, tell everyone how bad marijuhana is and that you could get DP from it? That's not the way things work. People don't realize sh*t. Here in holland Marijuhana is almost legal, and I hope it wil be completely legal soon, I will never use it again, but other people will, no matter how hard it is to get it, or perhaps no matter what they have to do for it...

 

[Magneto]

So magneto, what do you want to do, tell everyone how bad marijuhana is and that you could get DP from it?

I don't want to tell anyone that it is bad, and I don't want to chastise anyone for using it. But yes, if they know about DP, then they are taking the risk fully informed. Had someone said to me, "if you smoke weed daily there is a chance you will end up feeling like (insert any number of horrible DP/DR symptoms here)", I may have regulated my smoking, or not smoked at all. Or I may have done nothing differently at all. At least I would have had fair warning.

That's not the way things work. People don't realize sh*t.

Untrue. There is a reason I have never taken heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, crystal meth etc. Because I am scared of them. Is my fear valid? Maybe so, maybe not. But it kept me from ever doing them, which is for the best in my eyes. And why do I fear them? It has nothing to do with antidrug campaigns, but with pop culture and word of mouth. Unfortunately in the case of marijuana, you never hear of the extremely dire consequences of using. In fact, marijuana is seen as basically harmless.

A simple question to ask is, would you want your kids using marijuana? I certainly wouldn't, especially not now.

I will never use [marijuana] again, but other people will, no matter how hard it is to get it, or perhaps no matter what they have to do for it...

Same with crack, heroin, alcohol, etc.

Please take my posts with a grain of salt too... I'm really just looking for discussion.

Magneto

 

[DutchMark]

I do think you make some good points, it's just that sometimes it angers me that people don't know what they are doing. And I was one of them myself.
And I totally agree with you that marijuhana is seen as a harmless drug even less harmfull that alcohol sometimes.

Please take my posts with a grain of salt too... I'm really just looking for discussion.

I will :wink:

 

[Guest]

for alot of people marijuana is like a stress reliever and medicine almost. Example, one of my friends today got into a pretty heated altercation he was all angry and wound up. He smoked some weed and became calm. Now i don't think that people should strictly use marijuana to deal with their problems, matter of fact i discourage it. But people are still gonna smoke it no matter what. Its kind of like a distraction, which can be good in the short term & not so good in the long term. Its a really confusing situation.

 

[Dreamer]

Couldn't resist making a comment as I don't know what the solution to rec drugs is, but:

Alcohol is legal and cigarettes are legal. We know that both of those things can, but don't necessary, cause problems in certain people. Doesn't keep people from smoking, and paying a ludicrous amount for cigarettes.

Some, not all, can abuse alcohol to the detriment of they're own health or the life of someone else -- driving drunk and killing someone. But in the main, we all enjoy alcohol in moderation.

Smoking is addictive to a great many and we know it at minumum increases the risk of heart disease and cancer in some people. Also, there is the question of second hand smoke, which I find irritating at minimum, in a restaurant, but I simply ask to sit in no-smoking sections, and (man I love my little car) -- no smoking or food in my car. Man I'm a bitch, LOL. :shock:

But all the warnings about cigarettes and alcohol really don't change peoples' behavior. Like someone said, the commercials showing a fried egg in a pan saying "This is your mind on drugs" hasn't scared anyone "straight." I'd say that is the least of your worries, if it's morally right or not.

But Bro as I see this, bottom line, I would be concerned with either getting arrested or worse getting yourself injured or shot or who knows.

I've told a story before, in my wild youth, where a friend of mine just wanted to buy some pot. I was 24, and now I acknowledge, stupid for deciding to be "the driver" for this escapade. We had just moved out to California (I was starting a new job there).

Louis -- yes that was my friend's name -- and I get in my little yellow car and go searching for "good weed" -- note I've never partaken in my life -- in some seedy area of Hollywood. It was kind of funny and exciting initially, until we got to this one area Louis had researched about. He tells me, slow down the car, right here.... within a minute, I swear 10 guys come out of the bushes and come up to the car w/a selection of weed.

I wanted to punch Louis as he was being "selective" -- he rejected one guy's stuff as it was "too expensive and not good quality" and the guy was pissed, he then was dickering over how many seeds were in another little sample sitting in tin foil. These folks were just plain SCARY, and I was also paranoid enough to think WE would get arrested for buying the stupid stuff. I got really terrified. Noticed it was a VERY bad neighborhood and told Lewis at the count of ten I was going to burn rubber out of there. Which I did.

Bottom line, being in the process of buying or selling is at minimum a risk. As Janine said, the simple risk of getting arrested. True, I suppose it's not the worst charge in the world, but you would have a record. NOT GOOD. The world is tough enough, you have DP, and in looking for a good job, someone sees you have a minor criminal infraction, and you're out the door.

Simply weigh the pros and cons. And this is just me -- and I considered stripping for a living (when I was young and had the bod for it, LOL) -- as I was so DP, anxious, etc., a "normal" job was often impossible. When I even drove by such places I was disgusted and afraid. Made my DP just as bad getting anxious over the look of the place. Dangerous areas, scary people. It wasn't a question of morals for me, just fear for my life!

I would say, you have potential in your life to do many things. It seems self-destructive to get involved in this kind of behavior. Selling/buying -- no good.

Risks:
1. Yeah, as Janine noted -- getting arrested, going to jail, having this on your record.

2. The possiblity of getting hurt or worse in certain areas where such a transaction could take place. I knew a guy who had a VERY lucrative job in Silicon Valley as a computer engineer, making VERY good money. A very bright, intelligent guy, very good looking too I might add. He was addicted to Vicodin. He ended up going to a very bad area of Palo Alto for a purchase next to a 7-11. He was beaten unconscious and his car was stolen.

IMHO, I wouldn't take the risk of arrest or injury. You don't need extra grief in your life. As others may have said, "If you had a kid your age would you want that kid to be doing what you're doing?" I think that is always a VERY good question. You are old enough to be my son, Bro, and I'd be angry and afraid about what you're doing. I'd do everything in my power as a parent to get you to stop.

I might never win in getting you to stop a need for experimentation -- that's a given in young people. But selling... nope. Too risky, and you already know the worst case scenarios.............

Best,
D

 

[Homeskooled]

Dear Soulbro,
Dude, if you are selling drugs right now- Stop. If you're thinking of selling drugs right now, think again. That is the quickest, easiest, most lucrative way to become a two-bit nobody. You think you're conscience is queasy thinking about it? What happens when you sell weed to a 17 year old who smokes it and gets DP/DR for the next 10 years? How will you feel when it gets around to you that this kid is in a psych hospital because it gave him HPPD? You dont want to let your parents down, right? How will your mom feel when someone lets it slip that your on the corner downtown every night dealing? Do you think you're going to find any quality women in this crowd? And you WILL sink to the level of the people you hang around. Its human nature. Your only as good as the company you keep. I've seen this happen before Soul. The city I was raised in, Youngstown, WAS a hood. There wasn't one good side of town. If my parents hadn't homeschooled me, I dont know what would have happened. As it is, two of my former friends are in the Crips, and one is in jail. They werent bad guys, but they lacked ambition or vision. Ask yourself what you want out of life. Money? To just make ends meet? Or to contribute something lasting to the world to make it - and you - better? The Greeks and the Romans thought that immortality lay in leaving a legacy that kept your memory alive. So make one worth remembering. I'm off to class...

Peace
Homeskooled