[Axel19]

There's one thing that has always bothered me since I made my first appearance on this forum nearly two and a half years ago. If we take the example of some confused adolescent, as I was back then, who has just started feeling unreal in whatever sense, then surely the worst thing they'd ever want to read is the story of someone who's been suffering from this thing for years and years. Before I'd even had a proper diagnosis, before I'd even had a 'hardcore' dp experience, before I'd even experienced an hiour of total focus on dp, I'd already condemed myself to a lifetime of this disorder. That was primarily because I'd read a dozen or so stories staring with, 'I smoked that joint/did that pill/had that car crash over 2/3/4/50 years ago'. I assumed straight away that I'd be a longtimer, when there was very little to indicate that this would be the case.
Perhaps if I'd told my mum or dad, and they'd said 'It's just a phase', mayber I'd have been reassured by that banal maternal therapy. A few months before I smoked 'that joint', I had a short episode of dr, where the world looked 2d. I dismissed it at the time, even though it was quite scary, as mindless obsessing. Perhaps our acceptance of this thing as a disorder, isn't such a good thing afterall. Chronic disorders, whether they be physiological or mental, are one of the banes of mankind's existence. They are one of the most feared things that can happemn to a person. Perhaps in obsessing over dp as 'My personal condemnation'-just like cancer, or diabetes or tourettes, we have transformed it into something chronic when it isn't neccessarily so.
I'm not having a dig at anyone for posting their true to life stories, and although I've used the word we quite a lot, I am only reffering to a small group, myself included.
I just think that those who've only had dp experiences for a very short length of time, should steer well clear of this forum for a while. Granted that yes one can be reassured that it isn't madness and that other people do have these feelings. I think there is little to be gained at that early stage from reading the experiences of someone who has suffered chronically for years.

 

[Guest]

I came to this forum about the same time you did axel. I remember reading your posts and they were pretty grim. Frankly, you scared the shit out of me back in the day. Anyhow, while reading stories from people suffering from chronic DP can be petrifying to some newcomers, it can give them fear, but it won't gurantee that they will become like that. It is important to emphasize that just because we read a story or have fear, that doesn't mean we will suffer from debilitating DP/DR for years. The reality of it is is that over 90% of people who get DP/DR seem to have it for a short time before they find coping mechanims and/or it goes away completely. I was one of the people when first coming across DP/DR, I read all of the horror stories and nearly shit in my pants. Did it scare the fuck out of me? YES! But I am still alive and just reading about them didn't kill me or give me chronic DP/DR. So I had a little bit of fear, so what?

Here is the reality. I am stating now that a very large percentage of people only have this for a very short time. I have been coming here since August of 2002 and everyone who I met when I first came here is now gone. What do I think happened to them? I am sure they went on to recover or they are coping extremely well.The only people I can remember from when I first started coming here are SC, JC, janinebaker and dreamer. I think sleeping beauty and jasonfar showed up shortly after me.

This illness is overrated and is widely blown out of proportion. Don't give it any more power than it deserves.

 

[falling_free]

I am preety sure im ive got this for the long term unfotunelly , I used to be a chronic weed smoker and Ive had dp/dr for about a year, there has been a few small improvements but my short term memeory is terrible and I experience the usual dp/dr symptons . I find this forum is actually somewhere where I can try and ground myself in reality as I can read and relate to others expieriences and maybe learn a little more about this condition that I think I have, though sometimes some of the subjects get me flying off into space again (such as the space alien topic in the polls section) and though I find topics such as them intresting and I like to read them, perhaps they are not the best things to be discussing when in a dp state, but I dunno iv'e always been interested in those 'far out' kind of topics and I gues that's as much a part of my charecter as it a possible dp/dr obessesinall sympton.

 

[Guest]

ive had for a year but im gonna try really hard for this next year to tone my symptoms down to a real minimum through good nutrition, good advice, excercise and supplements, this seemed to work for me, i beleive if people dont do something about it fast, then it will stay in them permenantly just like a disease or cancer except those people die.

 

[Guest]

I agree to Alex19.

Obsessing about this condition doesn't help anyone. It's like obsessing and couting like real obsessive-compulsive, or counting calories like anorexia. We have to transfer our obsession into something creative, or that we like.

And for me, thinking that it can be just anxiety/obsession/depression help me a lot more than thinking of the ILLNESS called depersonalization disorder.

Now I am gonna try to not obsess, take a med anti-obsessional and go on with life. I have to, for my health. I swear I will try. I think it's VERY hard to stop any obsessions, but it takes distraction.

Cynthia

 

[sebastian]

Hmm. I know what you mean Axel, but i'm not sure i agree with it.

First of all, the obvious bias here is that most of the people who aren't "longtimers" (sounds like a comic book...The Longtimers) just don't come here anymore or come here intermittently, when they have a bad week or something, or when the dpness comes back from remission. And so, we don't necessarily notice these people, and draw our conclusion on the population pool as exclusive to "longtimers", ie. If everyone i remember on this board has had dp for a long time, then ALL sufferers must have it for a long time. But the thing is, we don't remember the people who don't come here, or rarely come here. It's a tainted sample, or something like that.

Secondly, i personally find this community quite integral to my recovery in the sense that there are, contrary to popular belief, a lot of positive people and forces at work here. It's also a great place to come for advice, to commiserate, and to rant. The argument i think you're making here is that one becomes addicted or dependent on this place, and ends up dwelling on these thoughts all the more because we're here, listening to other people talk about it. Well i don't know about you, but if anything, i find the constant chatter about these feelings and obsessions quite revealing in that many times, they seem so absurd that it's easier for me to look askance at my own particular situation in a less serious manner.

I truly believe that this disorder is due mainly to anxietal factors, and i think two things are necessary for the eradication of these factors...support from fellow sufferers, and outward thinking. Perhaps if we all spent more time helping each other and less time worrying about ourselves, we would inadvertantly solve the whole problem.

Anyway, if this post doesn't make a lot of sense, it's because i'm at work and am constantly getting interrupted. But leaving this place is the last thing i would want to do when i'm feeling this way. Oh, and personally speaking...i took about a two year hiatus from this place after i started to feel better. Then, when i suddenly felt bad again, i came back. So, i think it's more a question of this place being a support rather than an instigator.

s.

 

[gem]

I think it is very hard to do something about a condition that no one truly understands. I know that dp/dr is a very painful illness to live with day after day and it is okay to voice how one feels, but an illness such as this one is very hard to fix when you do not know how to fix it. We are all struggling to live in something that tears at the deepest level of your soul and it really hurts. I have had this a long time. I try my best everyday to do the best I can, to cope the best way I know how. There is no book to show you how to get well, no doctor out there who knows what to do to fix it, we can only cope in our own little way to help us get through each day. When I hear people say they do not want to come back here because they have read that someone has had this a very long time I can respect their feelings but you must understand that it is no different than any other illness you read about when it is chronic, an illness is an illness and just because one person has it a long time does not mean you will. I find coming here helpful because those that truly understand are very helpful and caring to others. If someone does not want to come here because they read that others have this a long time please take a moment and put yourself in their shoes, they need support and kindness and understanding which is hard to find out there. If we who suffer turn away from others who suffer the same thing it can be a lonely journey. The next time one feels that coming here only makes them feel there is no hope should think again, there is hope that is why we come here and to feel that we can share and help each other get through another day when we feel afraid.

gem.

 

[gem]

I think it is very hard to do something about a condition that no one truly understands. I know that dp/dr is a very painful illness to live with day after day and it is okay to voice how one feels, but an illness such as this one is very hard to fix when you do not know how to fix it. We are all struggling to live in something that tears at the deepest level of your soul and it really hurts. I have had this a long time. I try my best everyday to do the best I can, to cope the best way I know how. There is no book to show you how to get well, no doctor out there who knows what to do to fix it, we can only cope in our own little way to help us get through each day. When I hear people say they do not want to come back here because they have read that someone has had this a very long time I can respect their feelings but you must understand that it is no different than any other illness you read about when it is chronic, an illness is an illness and just because one person has it a long time does not mean you will. I find coming here helpful because those that truly understand are very helpful and caring to others. If someone does not want to come here because they read that others have this a long time please take a moment and put yourself in their shoes, they need support and kindness and understanding which is hard to find out there. If we who suffer turn away from others who suffer the same thing it can be a lonely journey. The next time one feels that coming here only makes them feel there is no hope should think again, there is hope that is why we come here and to feel that we can share and help each other get through another day when we feel afraid.

gem.

 

[Guest]

Gem! Where ya been girl? Always nice to read what you have to say. Especially when I get to read it twice

I guess one of us "longtimers" should weigh into this discussion....
I think I understand what Axel is saying, and in large part I agree with it. It is soooooo easy to get sucked into this place. Read about symptoms that you hadn't even thought of yet and suddenly convince yourself you have, read about people having this for years and become concerned - obsessed, that the same will happen to you.

Andy's old Board may have been a lifesaver for me. Just knowing there are others like me made me feel less crazy. Certainly less lonely. On the other hand, coming here day after day, hour after hour, aside from the times when you may feel at the end of your rope - is probably not healthy. It can cause you to focus on the strangeness even more.

Take breaks. That's a bit of advice that I try to follow myself. Not always successful, but even when I am here it's usually down in the off-topic forums. Other times I just don't log in at all for a while. Dreamer is taking this month off, for instance. Or trying anyway

People with DP/DR share many of the same symptoms, effects, etc. That said - it is completely unique for each of us. I have been "this way" for a very, very long time. Others are this way for a relatively short time. It's different for each of us. I don't know why, but it defintely is. And even even if you take me as a worse case scenario, though a longtimer, I manage to do the rest of it too you know. I am married with children, employed, own things, play basketball, work on my car, etc. As far as living a real life - I don't think anyone would accuse me of being unsuccessful. I just happen to also have an illness. That certainly doesn't make me unique.

Use this place for the benefits it may provide. If you feel you are getting sucked in, worrying more, etc, then stay away. If I can offer any advice as an longtimer it would be - do things differently than I have. Get help early on. Try therapy. Try meds. Try things, anything that might help. After all this time, for instance, I am just now starting regular talk therapy in a serious way. And I don't think I've ever given any medication a decent chance.
Whatever else you do though, try your best to not worry about how long you may be DP/DR. Because odds are good in won't be for that long. I know of too many people who are out of it now to believe otherwise.

O.K., just a longtimer babbling now.
Carry on everybody.

 

[Axel19]

Agreed with all of your points, thanks for the replies.
Narcotic, yes I think my posts can be some of the most depressing. I'm probably more guilty than anyone for creating scary posts.
Sc is perhaps proof of how misleading (unintentionally so) a statement such as 'I've been living with this crap for ten years now.' can be. Whilst I don't know much of your personal experience, the very fact that you've achieved all of those things shows that dp isn't a living death. It's a struggle, somehing that makes life tougher than it already is. But it isn't the sealing of your doom.
Gem, I think that this illness is quite different to others. I think some of us here may have a genuine chronic illness. But for most of us, myself included, I think we are possibly just obsessed with dp. I don't mean obsessed as in we can't stop reading about it, and coming on this forum. I mean we are literally obsessed with feelings of unreality. That obsessive anxiety is chronic, but not the dp itself.....perhaps, I don't know. But in the early stages of this thing, coming on this forum and reading the posts, may help fuel the fire of that obsessiveness.
I mean take the example of someone who simply feels spaced out, when ynder fluorescent lights. Theya re anxious about it, and after some searching on google, they come on here and...'What the hell?!?! 2D world, feel like you're dreaming, feel as if you are not alive. Oh sh*t what if I end up like that. Hang on, yeah the world is kinda' 2D, OH NO!!'-That's what I'm talking about.

 

[gem]

axel, I respect your opinion but I disagree with you. It is okay to disagree that is what makes us all unique. I do not believe we are obsessing at all with this illness. This illness is there and it is very painful to cope with. Everyone of us are struggling to find answers to how to be well again. It is very upsetting to have something like this with very little answers. We live day by day trying in our own way to cope the best way we know how. Obsessing is not in this picture, at least I do not believe it is. When you wake up everyday and you have something that does not go away it is human nature to be thinking about it, reality is it is there right beside you. I beleive an illness is an illness and those who have a different kind of illness would probably say that they too find it hard not to think about it when it is with you all the time. We can all say this is right for us or that is not right for us but I feel that whatever works for each individual is what is important. If coming here and giving and receiving support is helpful then I would say it is good if it is not working then do not come here, only you will know what helps and what does not help. I hope you do not mind me expressing this but I do not believe anyone here is obsessing at all, I believe they are just trying to hang on to a future without feeling alone and misunderstood.

gem.