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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey, to anyone who has gotten over this horrible thing we must put up with *cough cough-Janine* do the distances between the DP/DR coming back around represent any connection with the end of the DP/DR cycle?

For example, My DP/DR started going away and I started to feel better, and actually thought it was going away for about a week or 2. Then it came back strong when I was getting doubtful it seemed. Then, I started to try and use the positive techniques to eliminate it, and it seemed as if it was going away and was getting better daily. Now, it feels like it's coming back! Seems like for no reason either...

Is there a reason for the length between these episodes? Does it mean I'm getting better? Because I was sure it was fading away, instead of me fading away this time.
 

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What techniques are you using, explicitly?

I found it fairly interesting that after my Vegas trip I was feeling great; and now things are starting to come back to a little worse now - but I see a pattern in my actual BEHAVIOR that makes me curious as to how much my own actions play in the revival of this disorder, let me explain....

Like I've said before I'm a programmer - and a contract programmer at that. What this means is that I have a fairly whacked out schedule at times - I can work ALL night long to get a particular job done, and then fall asleep mid-afternoon out of exhaustion. When I wake up in the night - as I just did now, and expect it to be morning my mind is just blown away - and I can get hit VERY hard with the DP/DR experience. The more I attack a particular project with single-minded focus (forgetting about almost everything else), the worse it gets. However, it's also rather painful to stop this trend from time to time and pay attention to other things (such as bills or house-cleaning, which I force myself to do); but when I do things start feeling better. (Painful is an interesting word, I know - but it's the most accurate one I can find that describes the experience of stopping my run-away mind at times to fulfill something that it wasn't originally focused upon).

So - for me, it literally seems to do a lot with the patterns I have about me concerning my environment and my place in it - if something goes out of whack - then here comes the DP. However - it depends A LOT upon how integrated I am in those patterns that are about me.

Again, my theory on this whole Depersonalization experience is that I never had a lot of stability growing up (external or internal), and this resulted in me founding myself upon some fairly shifting sands psychologically (emotionally, etc.). Mostly - the kind of stability and security I felt growing up was the manifestation of my own imagination; I was rarely tied directly to the "external". As I've grown older I keep myself from flittering away into never-never land (daydreaming) as much as I can and mostly try to apply my wild imaginings to practical results. When the external world changes, or I don't integrate myself successfully, I begin to hyper-focus on the "planks of existence below my feet", as I feel them shaking a bit; and I begin to panic that my world is becoming unstable and - well, you all know where I'm going with this.

So, that was fairly long-winded, but, I'm interested in what positive techniques you use to attack this thing. The term "positive" to means me action-oriented; which is interesting to me because that's the ONLY thing that seems to do anything for me is ACTION.

....something that just occured to me that may be of good use for us on this board is maintaing something like a 12 step program to remove yourself from the feelings. We are creatures of habit and experience, and are capable of rewiring our neuro-pathways by action and so forth. If we can, actively, construct some kind of technique(s) for removing ourselves from this hell, publish them internally, and then use them/update them/throw them away/flag them as very good/etc. - we might be able to answer a LOT of questions to newcomers.....thoughts?
 

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....and while we're on the topic of bills, that reminds me, if someone wants to pay my cell phone bill this month I would gladly let them (stupid Verizon and its roaming areas).
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
The techniques I use are usually just a state of mind that says "Just DP- I don't care" type thing, keeping distracted but not too "in the zone" which is dissociation anyways which makes it easier cuz that's how you're suppose to feel when you're "zoned in" on something. That's probably why you feel more DP'ed when you (and I) turn (our) head(s) back to the world.

I just kind of let it go over my head and try not to panic too much when I feel new sensations because they just manifest them and sometimes even create new ones.

Poorly written post... sorry, live with it I guess.
 

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I haven't seen Janine post much lately. Don't know where she is.
 

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Well, I am certainly no Janine, but I will give some insight. I have cycles ALL THE TIME and it is annoying. I go through periods where I feel that I have recovered and there is no need to see the doctor and nothing to talk to him about. Then a week later I will feel so horrible that I want to die (like right now). I have been trying to find the trigger for a very long time. At first I thought it was alcohol and still think it may be the cause. Sometimes I think it is caused by a change in environment, schedule, etc. Like going out of town or having to do something that is out of the ordinary everyday schedule. I do not think I am bi-polar, but at times I think I may be. I do not have extreme manic times, but the last time I was feeling good (which was like 2 weeks ago), there were some times where I felt I barely needed any sleep. I found myself waking up at like 5am for no reason after I had gone to bed at like midnight. But the past two weeks I have gone to bed at like 11pm and when I wake up at 7am, I have NOOOOO desire to get up.

What sucks is that the cycles, for the most part, are VERY unpredictable.

The best advice I can give you is this: just try to go with it. Do not change to much of your normal routine and schedule when you get in a rut. Your mind needs to know that you can continue on even when it is down. Sure it is okay to rest a little more, but do not cancel all your activities, etc. I try to continue to go to work, continue to work out, get good sleep, go out socially, etc. Though it is 8,000 times harder, ya have to do it.

I'm interested in seeing Janine's response to this. She is a very busy lady, but she'll answer eventually. Hope this helps. Take care.

Kelson
 
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The Neurophysiology of Depersonalization States (Towards an Understanding of the Brain's Self-Awareness)

Traumatic Dis-identification in the Formation of Depersonalization States

and

Covert Enactments in the Erotic Transference (Recognizing Shifts from Content to Process in the Session Room)

What, you may ask, do those three titles have to do with ANYthing? They are the names of the 3 term papers I've been busy writing which is why I haven't posted much lately! Final exams and the end of the semester!!!

grin

Okay. My major answer to your very good question is this: no, there is no reason for the sudden leaps backwards. Remember: mental symptoms are NOT like something physical. If you have a physical illness, you assume that you will get better incrementally. One day a little better, maybe the next better still..then maybe a plateau, then maybe a bit better. You certainly don't expect to suddenly take another nose dive and plummet back to where you were.

That is precisely what happens with mental symptoms though.

We make major strides forward and then we fly to the bottom of the abyss again.

The worst of it is not that this happens, but that we make it mean something horrible. It's just par for the course. It just is. It does not mean you are not making progress and it does not mean you suddenly did something wrong.

It's part of it.
Wish I could be more helpful on this one, but it happened to me on a regular basis too!

Peace,
J
Kelson gave the best advice above:
The best advice I can give you is this: just try to go with it. Do not change to much of your normal routine and schedule when you get in a rut. Your mind needs to know that you can continue on even when it is down.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thank you very much for the reply. Your explanation makes much sense. I guess i'll just hang in there.
 

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JanineBaker said:
The Neurophysiology of Depersonalization States (Towards an Understanding of the Brain's Self-Awareness)

Traumatic Dis-identification in the Formation of Depersonalization States

and

Covert Enactments in the Erotic Transference (Recognizing Shifts from Content to Process in the Session Room)

What, you may ask, do those three titles have to do with ANYthing? They are the names of the 3 term papers I've been busy writing which is why I haven't posted much lately! Final exams and the end of the semester!!!

grin

Okay. My major answer to your very good question is this: no, there is no reason for the sudden leaps backwards. Remember: mental symptoms are NOT like something physical. If you have a physical illness, you assume that you will get better incrementally. One day a little better, maybe the next better still..then maybe a plateau, then maybe a bit better. You certainly don't expect to suddenly take another nose dive and plummet back to where you were.

That is precisely what happens with mental symptoms though.

We make major strides forward and then we fly to the bottom of the abyss again.

The worst of it is not that this happens, but that we make it mean something horrible. It's just par for the course. It just is. It does not mean you are not making progress and it does not mean you suddenly did something wrong.

It's part of it.
Wish I could be more helpful on this one, but it happened to me on a regular basis too!

Peace,
J
Kelson gave the best advice above:
The best advice I can give you is this: just try to go with it. Do not change to much of your normal routine and schedule when you get in a rut. Your mind needs to know that you can continue on even when it is down.
Oh great....if Janine says I gave the best advice and she is the expert, does that mean that I have reached the point where there is nothing else I can do, but live with this!!!! j/k I'm touched that Janine said that!

Janine-those papers sound sooooo interesting. Can I read them after you turn them in???....seriously!

Kelson
 

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hm...she's busy writing erotic stuff and that's why she can't post...

yep. typical.

:lol:
 
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