[jc]

its my mum and dad but im getting madder with them by the day....ive told them that its stigmanitation (sp) to remind me everyday that im anxious and kinnda down...
i know its all good intentions but i really do want to now just be left alone by them to get well...

EVERY FUCKING DAY

you should get up earlier
why dont you get in the garden
that would do your nerves a world of good
if you had kids you wouldnt have this problem

honestly everyday my mum and dad remind me of this illness and i cant find the right words to let them know how i feeel,or at least they dont listen to my words

rant over

 

[sebastian]

i know EXACTLY what you mean. i endure very similar dramas with my mother. she means well, as i'm sure your parents do, but it really doesn't help...or who knows...in a way, maybe it does.

s.

 

[JasonFar]

What you guys fail to realize is they probably have problems, AND:

You are freaking old. You're still living at home. I think you need to get out.

I know that you're mentally handicapped and that's not an option....... BUT

You can't really expect anybody to listen to you when you're a full grown adult (far past young adult) and complaining that your parents are complaining.

 

[Guest]

I think i agree with the above poster, you have to take the necessery steps to get a life.

 

[JasonFar]

Well also I don't mean to undermine JC's illness, as he is clearly not capable of living on his own...... and I know that feeling really well, being stuck at parents, being totally enraged by them, yet being totally petrified of being on my own... It's not easy. I got lucky, got a few pick-me-ups with a job and such, and eventually got my way out of there... That was certainly a good thing.

But from a completely objective point of view, I guess, hearing a 30+ year old male who lives with his parents and then complains about their behavior around him, is a bit "pathetic", and to the normal human eye mindboggling in that they'd go "well then, move out.". But yeah, it's the unfortunate dillema of being completely scared and having no self esteem (alcoholism or whatever, etc) and not being able to make it alone, but at the same time disliking the environment that keeps you sane and alive....

 

[sleepingbeauty]

well slow down there buckaroos.. first things first. jc needs to kick the booze and get himself back in ship shape health wise again. it wasnt long ago when jc was doing well for himself and it looked like there was hope of having a life beyond mum and dad. but he fell off the horse and theres nothing wrong with that. i know it seems more daunting than it really is.. but i beleive in you jc and i know you can do this. thats because youve done it before so youve already proved it to me and everyone else including yourself. just brush it off jc and start over from square one. eventually you will be able to get a job and your own place and a family of your own. visiting mum and dad on the weekends only, will show you that you are capable of having a good relationship with them. my god... if i had to live with my dad there is no way i could survive. not even for one week. you think your folks are horrible.. i wish you could meet my dad. i only ever see the guy for a half hour a week if that... and he calls me everyday to tell me off over the phone about how much of a loser i am. you should count yourself lucky.

 

[jc]

what jasorfarr fails to realize is that ive lived with friends and on my own for years its only when my father had a heart attack that i was asked to move back home to undertake the upkeep on the house while my dad was dying in the hospital...and now what jasorfar fails to realize is that im chained to everyday chores...this si just me saying 'look i was ill when i was living on my own,at least have the decency to stop moaning about my personality flaws while it was 'you' who asked me to come back...

yes folks four years ago i was living in a bedsit on my own and dealing with it very well...

sometimes jason you need to think before you jump in with your tedious ...'im so tough' views

maybe one day your family will need you and believe me they will use all methods available,guilt is the usual one they use on me,when i tell them im going to pack my bags the tears start to fall and im given a list of why they dont want me to leave home..

ok thats all folks

 

[jc]

oh and i should add the stigma from friends pisses me off as well....people should mind there own buissiness

 

[JasonFar]

JC,

When I said you're not capable of going out on your own right now, it's based merely on the attitude of a lot of your recent posts, which obviously show a lot of anxiety and ish. And just because you were out at one point doesn't mean it's a possibility at the current moment. At least I know I was out and about, then crashed and burned, went back home, and it was about a year before I could muster up the strength etc to get back on my own.

And no I wasn't under the impression that they wanted you to stay and when you tried to leave to guilted you or whatever. I don't think you've mentioned that much.

 

[jc]

thats ok im just snappy with everyone at the moment

 

[sleepingbeauty]

jc you are right. no one should prejudge your situation. but all we know is what you are giving.. and what you are giving is that they are making you miserable. if thats the case then youre going to have to think about getting back on your own. even if dad is on his death bed sometimes we have to put our foot down for OUR OWN sake. im not saying i wouldnt do the same thing in your situation... but you also have to think about whats best for you.. and being with them is obviously not that. you may think its selfish but at this point thats all you can be. youre threatening to do yourself in and thats no way to take care of your dad is it? youd do better for both of you if you werent in each others faces so much.

 

[jc]

hi sb
just caught this post before going to bed...nooooooo ive not threatened to do myself in,christ however miserablt this illness makes me feel i still find simple pleasures in life to keep me going...
i only said to the docs that i was gonna do myself in because over here you dont get help unless

you are a danger to yourselves or others

anyway you are correct i need to get out and the first think i did when i moved out of my bedsit was to put my name down on the housing list...usually takes around six years though

all the best

jc

 

[gem]

jc, sometimes when we are ill we just want to be left alone and it is okay, it is okay to want some quiet time for ourselves to think things out and just listen to our own thoughts for a bit. As we grow older we cherish more and more that time. Being a parent is a wonderful gift and like all who have children we want the best for them and we want them healthy emotionally and physically. When they do not feel well we worry. We want to help, we want to be part of the good times and the bad times. Sometimes wanting to help may not be the right way but it is important to know that just suggesting things to you shows they love you and want to help. It may not be the kind of help you want right now but know they are trying. Just saying to them thank you for the suggestions I really appreciate what you are trying to do but for now I just really feel the need to be alone. Kindly remind them you care about them too.

My father is dying of cancer and I have not seen him for a very long time because he did not want to listen or make suggestions on how to help, he just wanted to ignore the fact that he had a daughter who was ill and he was embarrased of it. I would have loved to hear my parents fuss over me or try and suggest ways to help me but I never heard it. I now cry silently and my heart aches so much for the love I never had. Oh if I could have one wish it would be to have had parents that loved me unconditionally.

jc, I am not trying to be rude to you, I just want you to see that sometimes our loved ones do not know how to help, they do what they think is right and by doing this they are showing you they love you. That love is so very precious. Try not to push them away be gentle with them, some day you may be sad because they are not there to be a pain and let me say the pain that I feel lately hurts like nothing I have ever felt. Let them care.

gem.