[Guest]

I wanted to thank the two people who responded to my post. I means a lot knowing that you are not alone. Do you ever find yourself questioning life in general. Like am I really here? Have I imagined this all? The only thing that brings me comfort with this is that I know I shouldn't be thinking this way, and that there is some sanity left. How do you think that we can be living in this hell and still be able to act completely normal and in control to other people? Some mornings I wake up and wonder is this the day that I am going to completely lose it? I am so scared and feel so alone any more. I find myself pulling away from the people I love because every thing feels so foreign. Thanks in advance for your advice.

 

[Guest]

Hey you are absolutely normal. You are just using a different part of your brain right now. After being 99% recovered the only way I can describe what is happening (through Janine's words in her book) is that you are on a different level of consciousness to everyone else due to the amount of trauma you are under. I had all these questions & crazy thoughts & feelings. Go through past posts & you will realise how many people are going through what you are.

When you recover it is like you are using a different part of your brain on a different level of consciousness & you can't get scared of the questions & you don't even want to think about that stuff cause you are enjoying life. Everything that scared you doesn't seem to matter anymore you are just happy & content with things just being so. During recovery I would get so upset at myself as I couldn't understand why I was thinking this way & when I read Janine's book & understood that really the other parts of my brain had switched off & I was stuck in that zone I began to realise that I didn't have control over this thing it was a matter of just getting on with my life & letting this disease (so to speak) just pass on through.

 

[Ben]

The act of questioning life, I don't think, is that odd of a thing; I think people do it quite regularly. It's not so much the act that is the problem, but the nerves you have associated with it.

I remember about five years ago driving around in my car watching the world spin by me feeling as though the entire universe was a giant dream - and I was nothing more than the center of it all; watching it spin about me.

However, we have nothing more to go on that the instincts we have inside us that things are real and that the universe does, indeed, make sense. Every day the sun still comes up, every night it goes down. At one point you were born, and someday you will die.

To quote George Harrison: life goes on, within you and without you.

 

[mulder]

The act of questioning life, I don't think, is that odd of a thing; I think people do it quite regularly. It's not so much the act that is the problem, but the nerves you have associated with it.

I think this is true, I was always questioning my existence and the worlds existence, long before I got DR, and I think we all do it naturally, but we don't all worry about it!