[gem]

I wanted to thank all of you who took the time to give your support at this time of my life. I truly appreciated all the kind words. I am sorry for those who have lost someone, my heart goes out to you also. It really meant alot to me to be able to express how I felt and to have others reply. Sadly I have been told by my family that I am not allowed to see my dad, I had mentioned in my post that we had not seen each other for a long time, they would not accept this illness, so instead of just loving me and supporting me they turned away. I know I have lost all my family but I still have me. Thank you again for the kindness you all have shown. I have posted this a second time because for some reason I could not post in the other one about my dad dying of cancer. I have been trying to thank all of you since yesterday, but for some reason the post would not go through.

gem.

 

[kenc127]

I'm really sorry to hear that. At any rate, you have all of us to give you support if you need it.

Best

Ken

 

[lone wolf]

I'll offer my sympathy to you too... I have read your posts on this subject, but somehow I always feel so incapable of finding the right words to reply. I feel for you, and I feel it is so wrong you are forbidden to meet your father just bc of your illness - the situation must feel very painful for you... *a gentle hug*

 

[dreamcatcher]

I am really sorry gem.....it must be horrible to be told to stay away thats really sad.....take care of yourself

 

[JasonFar]

Gem you're very welcome.

I am sorry for your family situation. Remember that you truly are important. You're right -- you still have yourself, and that's the most important thing of all.

I hope you stay well in these difficult times.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

this situation is confusing for me. i dunno but i dont think that i would let any lame family members who cant accept me tell me what to do and say i cant see my dad when its likely the last chance i will get to. i know i dont know the situation and that may be easier said than done.. but is it? i mean.. regardless of wether he wanted to see you or not.. i think you should gather your courage and see the man. when it comes to doing whats right, sometimes you have to be brave and just go for it. if they want to call the cops on you, tell them to go blankety blank themselves. all you need is 30 seconds to let your dad know face to face that you love him and nothing can take that away from you. not your family, not the wall that separates him and you in his mind, and certianly not the next life. he made you, and just for that reason and nothing else you are bonded forever. he needs to know that. who cares what your family thinks. if they want to be petty and selfish that is not your problem nor should you let it stop you from the last chance you will get to make peace with your dad. and if he totally shuts you out you can be confident in the knowledge that you didnt do that to him. your conscience will be clear. if anything do it for you gem. and if you really cant get the courage to do it.. have a friend deliver a message from you DIRECTLY to him and only him. youre his DAUGHTER. and no one has any business driving a wedge between you.. not even him!

 

[gem]

Sleepingbeauty, thank you for your reply. There is many reasons why I did not walk into the room of my dying father. I must explain something, this is a man who was very controlling, expectations were very high, no matter what I did it was never good enough. I tried year after year to make him happy. When I became ill, he decided that instead of helping hi daughter he would do what many people do when one suffers an illness such as the one we live. There were no comforting words, no nothing, pull up your socks smarten up was the attitude. I have sisters and brothers who would not even try to understand what I have. My sister would say oh there is no way you feel unreal, what are you talking about. I was an embarrasement to them. I am not allowed in his room or near my dad and the rest of the family are making sure of that. No matter what I do the bottom line is I am not allowed. I do thank you for your reply.

gem.

 

[sleepingbeauty]

i dunno if this helps at all gem, but i would rather be in your shoes than be in any of theirs. you are one of the most positive contributors to this board. youve helped so many people and you can rest easy in the knowledge that you are NOT like them and that you will never treat another living soul with the cruel disdain that was inflicted upon you by the ones who should have loved and supported you the most. what sad souls they are.

you are true to your name. you ARE a gem. dont let their selfish insecurities poison your self esteem. you know in your heart what is right.. and unfortunately when the time comes, your father will know it too but it may be too late for him. but thats ok gem thats not your problem now. the only thing that matters is YOU.

take care.

 

[gem]

sleeping beauty, I had to thank you and everyone who has responded to my post. It was so kind of all of you to be so supportive. I wish my family were as caring as many of the people here including yourself. Your words truly meant alot to me, I literally cried a million tears. It meant so much to hear you say how I have helped people here, I did not know that people thought that of me, I know all of you have been kind. I sometimes get nervous when I go to post because I want so much to help others who suffer because I have suffered terribly with this illness. I thank you again for taking the time to write such hearfelt words. I know I am mad at my dad for so many things and I know it hurts so much but I am not the type of person to vent out that, I do not want to upset anyone, I just wanted what I have wanted all my life, like many of us and that is understanding and to be loved.

gem.