[sming]

Hi all,
10 years ago I made myself severely depressed. It was a very frightening experience and I subsequently terrorized myself about it happening again. I lived in a near constant state of terror for quite some time.

Various shrinks I've seen say (and I agree with them) that I traumatized myself. It's plainly evident to me that this was the start of my DR/DP problems.

I know that DR/DP just start for some people and for others it starts after doing a drug. However I was wondering for those who's DR/DP is underpinned by anxiety/depression, how many of those people experienced a traumatic event beforehand?

Cheers,
Pete

 

[Monkeydust]

I had a "bad trip" that was very traumatizing, believe me.

And considering that I've never been a heavy drug-user, I doubt I've done any "actual" brain damage.

So I guess you could put me in a similar basket to you, though I'd imagine your situation was somewhat different.

 

[sming]

So I guess you could put me in a similar basket to you, though I'd imagine your situation was somewhat different.

mate, are you calling me a basket case?

Only joshing. Interesting. And yes, my situation involved no assistance from substance, I depressed myself hideously all by myself :roll:

 

[Monkeydust]

I'm the only basket case around here lol. Except Janine, who is, in fact, insane. (j/k)

I was depressed before, too, I suppose. And that must have been a factor for me.

In the end, however, I think you'll find that the end result of our various "paths" to mental illness are quite similar.

You've got people like you or me who've had some "trauma" whilst being (relatively) healthy before-hand. And this event is able to "batter down" our mental "defences" and leave us in a neurotic state. Sure, mine was assissted with a substance and yours wasn't, but the end result was the same.

On the other hand, you seem to have people who go on for long periods with ever mounting stress. Problems accumulate for them, issues "pile up" and eventually their mind just "gives in" under the pressure -with some form of breakdown - leaving them quite mentally ill.

As you can see, I'm bullshitting a bit here, since I have no real idea what I'm talking about lol. Fortunately many others here know more than me and can offer more information.

 

[university girl]

Many individuals exerience some sort of traumatic event or events prior to the onset of their DPD. For many, this involves some sort of abuse. For others it may be a very stressful event. And then there are the drug-induced sufferers. For us, the high may or may not have been traumatic. In addition, a few have DPD come out of the blue.

 

[rainboteers]

I had medical trauma in my past. I was misdiagnosed and suffered terribly because of it. I was told I may not live, and it was so untrue. PLEASE people if you are told you have something serious seek other opinions. I trusted the Dr. I was seeing and didn't even ponder the possibility that he may be wrong. Dr.'s DO NOT know everything. Sorry didn't mean to go into a tangent there.

I think your depression could defineately be the cause of your dp/dr. From what my therapist tells me dp/dr is a major part of PTSD. ANYTHING that is traumatic to YOU can cause PTSD. Major depression can be extremely traumatic. I had a panic attack and my therapist thinks that I have PTSD just from the panic attack. Sounds silly (I know), BUT the other factor is that because of my medical trauma, the very thought of a mental trauma was enough to cause PTSD. Hope that made since I am in a bit of a hurry.

 

[Guest]

My dp/dr has been on and off for a few years, but got super bad this year. I had to leave school. I think in my case it had something to do with depression and extreme stress. I had no traumatic event that caused it and I don't do drugs. I am still confused as to why I am this way...hope this helped.

 

[Da'Burgh]

I believe my DP/DR came after I had a panic attack during a trip and thought I would die. I was so scared for months after that. I believe it led to this. I really haven't been checked out and it's starting to scare me that there could really be a problem. What do you guys think? I'm so scared...

I'm afraid I don't evn have DP/DR and that I'm just fucked up... That I'm slowly deteriorating... Like I'm just gonna snap and I'll be insane...I get these stupid sensations on my head and my temples and in a certain spot in the back of my head... I feel so deeply sad and afraid at the same time just wondering if I have a serious problem. Well, I suppose I'll find out.

By the way, I'm getting an MRI in about a week and I feel like I need it as soon as possible. Like NOW

 

[rainboteers]

Da'Burgh,
I think you should check into PTSD. I am by far no Dr., but it sounds like your panic attack, bad trip, and fear absolutely terrified you. Get checked out by your dr. and ease your mind. No matter what happens you will be okay. I know how scared you are because it is exactly how I feel most of the time, but I am starting to have good moments. Soon I know they will turn into good days. HAVE FAITH in yourself, god if you want, whatever gives you peace. I swear to you a positive attitude will matter. The way I see it my thoughts and mind got me into this mess and they will help get me out of it. I hope this helps. You will get through this and you will be able to look back and be amazed and proud of how strong you are.

 

[sming]

I really haven't been checked out and it's starting to scare me that there could really be a problem. What do you guys think? I'm so scared...

I'm afraid I don't evn have DP/DR and that I'm just f--- up... That I'm slowly deteriorating... Like I'm just gonna snap and I'll be insane...I get these stupid sensations on my head and my temples and in a certain spot in the back of my head... I feel so deeply sad and afraid at the same time just wondering if I have a serious problem. Well, I suppose I'll find out.

By the way, I'm getting an MRI in about a week and I feel like I need it as soon as possible. Like NOW

Da'Burgh, a lot of your worry would be alleviated by applying CBT techniques.

For example, you are employing "cognitive reasoning" i.e. "I think this might be the case, therefore it might actually be the case". This kind of thinking is often misaligned (quite radically) with reality.

Try changing this type of thinking to evidence-based reasoning e.g. "I think this might be the case. What objective, jury-approved evidence do I have to support that belief?".

The beauty of evidence-based thinking is that if you don't have the evidence (which you don't - people who are insane or suffering from mania refuse to believe that anything is wrong for example) then there's not a lot of reason to believe what you are thinking. A whole sh_tload of fears vanish simply because there's no evidence to support them.

So, do yourself a large favour - accept that you can't possibly know what the origin or reason behind these thoroughly unpleasant symptoms is and wait for evidence - wait for your tests. When you get your evidence, make an informed decision on your next course of action.

Apologies if this is all old hat to you!
Pete

 

[sming]

Many individuals exerience some sort of traumatic event or events prior to the onset of their DPD. For many, this involves some sort of abuse. For others it may be a very stressful event. And then there are the drug-induced sufferers. For us, the high may or may not have been traumatic. In addition, a few have DPD come out of the blue.

I wonder what the connection is, if any, between these different causes. And I am puzzled how a reaction to a drug can cause DP/DR. Sites such as: http://www.panic-anxiety.com/depersonal ... zation.htm claim that DP/DR cannot exist without underlying mental illness (primarily anxiety) so I wonder if the drug use is the final straw or somesuch?

Overall it's wholly puzzling, demoralizing condition I s'pose :?

 

[Guest]

sming--"So, do yourself a large favour - accept that you can't possibly know what the origin or reason behind these thoroughly unpleasant symptoms is and wait for evidence - wait for your tests. When you get your evidence, make an informed decision on your next course of action."

But what if there is no reasoning or evidence? I've been waiting for years for people to figure out what's wrong with me and to receive some sort of relief, and it seems like it will never happen.

b

 

[kchendrix]

What I don't get , like in my case, I was a perfectly "Normal" outgoing guy..... I had not trauma .... but the anxiety disorder itself. So I went from feeling good about myself to Questioning my own reality, I am I me, repeating evidence of who my parents are...where I live, what my phone numbers are to prove I am really me... That to me is crazy.. but they say I am not It is a disorder. Ok so I m not crazy but It doesn't make it go away.. the fact that I am not crazy doesn't change my thinking...How did I get this way.. why did I get this way and how do I stop it ..... It all is one big mess.

KC

 

[sming]

But what if there is no reasoning or evidence? I've been waiting for years for people to figure out what's wrong with me and to receive some sort of relief, and it seems like it will never happen.
b

Valid observation but that's not the point I was making. What I'm saying is that whilst you are in a position of not knowing what's wrong, it's of no help to anyone (especially yourself) to wonder, ruminate or postulate what might be wrong because that's a sure fire way of making yourself feel even worse and to dig a deeper hole. And that's what Da'Burgh (sorry to talk about you like you're not here or something!) appears to be doing:

it's starting to scare me that there could really be a problem

What do you guys think?

I'm afraid I don't evn have DP/DR and that I'm just f--- up

I can empathise (to what degree I do not know) with your situation, I've been f_cked for 10 years now without genuine, consistent relief. But I do know that anxious wondering without evidence is of no use to me nor anyone whatsoever.

pete

 

[kchendrix]

Yep it is quite useless and does make it worse... It just sucks... I wish there was a magic time machine I could get in and go back to where I was completely "NORMAL"

But alas there is not, so some how Have to harness the energy that got me here, to put me back together..

"I'm Not Crazy , I'm just a little unwelll!!"

Peace