[Roni .G.]

Hi
I’m 32 years old and suffering from existence phobia about 2 years ago when I had bad experience with smoking weed.
I scared everything that included my own existence.
Afraid to see through my own eyes because that rise me all kind of questions about my own existence. How do I exist how I am the only one that me ? It like I wake up and realise that I’m here and my consciousness is here. I don’t no how to explain that weird feeling and that loop I stuck.feeling the Float and distance for my own self feeling when I’m talking that I’m examines what I say in feel anxious that maybe I said something that not need to say like I don’t have control on my own speaking. Don’t no how to overcome this thing feeling pain Real physical pain Along with the anxieties I have
Anyone Cope with such an experience fear your own existence?
Any tips how can I overcome this
Thank!

 

[Dragoon909]

Hi
I’m 32 years old and suffering from existence phobia about 2 years ago when I had bad experience with smoking weed.
I scared everything that included my own existence.
Afraid to see through my own eyes because that rise me all kind of questions about my own existence. How do I exist how I am the only one that me ? It like I wake up and realise that I’m here and my consciousness is here. I don’t no how to explain that weird feeling and that loop I stuck.feeling the Float and distance for my own self feeling when I’m talking that I’m examines what I say in feel anxious that maybe I said something that not need to say like I don’t have control on my own speaking. Don’t no how to overcome this thing feeling pain Real physical pain Along with the anxieties I have
Anyone Cope with such an experience fear your own existence?
Any tips how can I overcome this
Thank!

Hi there,
I know what you're talking about. I have existential terror as well, questioning the existence of things. Earlier I was out, and I questioned the sky: it looked so unreal and daunting behind this fog I'm in.

I ground myself or deep breath. It's hard to stay focused when stimulated up into anxiety. What other choice is there?
I wish I had the answer, but definitely relate.

And yes, I know the feeling of existing only. Idk my derealization can get pretty bad at times.

Hang in there.

 

[whatisthiswhereami]

I just wanted to chime in that I also deeply relate. I will look at something simple, like a coffee cup in my hand or the aquarium tank in my room, and think "that's not real, how can that be real?" or sort of 'come to' in the middle of a conversation with someone and feel terrified of reality or just deeply unsure of it.
Also deeply relate to being in the middle of speaking and suddenly wonder, where are these words coming from? Am I choosing them?

I've realized that there are two 'selves' inside of me. One that is rather automatic, the one that walks around all day and speaks and interacts with the world in a pretty normal way (I have an active social and professional life and no one would know I suffer from this issue), and then the self/mind that questions everything and is scared/anxious.

Tips that help me: journaling daily, making 8 hours of sleep a priority, all the basic stuff (lots of water, good food, vitamins, etc), have a trusted friend/person to talk to this about is so important, especially someone that understands what you're going through. That has helped me a lot. I don't use any drugs (except pharmaceuticals, regrettably), or alcohol or nicotine, and helps.

 

[Trith]

I have had some episode where it felt so strange that I didn't feel I was in my body, and yet felt thoughts and couldn't locate them in space. This was very weird and uncomfortable then. Also the fact that thoughts feel immaterial and yet my body is material. And yet that episode passed, and now my thoughts still feel immaterial just as before but I couldn't care less, it just feels much more natural now.
If it happened to me again, I would want to remember that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with my thoughts or their nature, but there is such a thing as feeling that things are "natural" or "abnormal". That feeling can come and go, but it has nothing to do with the nature of reality itself. Reality is fine. And for me that feeling did pass eventually eventhough it felt like something I had learned and couldn't unlearn. I try to see it like having the flu or some disease. When I have the flu it doesn't stay forever. And the fact that I know I have the flu doesn't cure me of the flu so it's perfectly normal if this feeling stays there for a while. If I can't get rid of it today, it doesn't mean it won't go away eventually. That is, if it can go away with time only, which seemed to be the case for me.
Even that feeling of things being unnatural feels very strange itself, and it is tempting to look at it, just like it is tempting to stare at someone who looks strange in the bus, as if we were trying to figure something out. That's what this feeling invited me to do anyway. But there was nothing interesting in it in the end and nothing to figure out. Just a very uncomfortable feeling that passed eventually.

 

[JayB]

Hi Roni,

I feel for you. I know exactly what you mean and it's terrifying. I support everything the others said. They gave good insights and advices. The key with those sensations will always be acceptance. Accepting that this condition has a name : depersonalization/derealization syndrome and that it is responsible of the weird feelings and perceptions you have about your self/thought processes and the world. Accepting that you can't lose contact with reality or die from it. Don't try to rationalize the why and how you feel like that. Just tell yourself, ''ah, another dp thought/sensation'' and continue what you were doing. It is extremely hard to do that in practice when your anxiety level is very high. It will become easier with time. If you are overwhelmed and can't function properly, there's no shame to ask for an anti-anxiety medication. You might need this help to cool down first and be able to work on yourself. You don't deserve to suffer intensely every second of your life. Nobody does.

We are lucky to have each others. The amount of empathy and willingness to help I'm witnessing on this forum makes me proud of this community. @Trith I really admire your level of commitment to help people in here. You are good at reassuring and communicating the subtleties of this disorder.

 

[Trith]

Hi Roni,

I feel for you. I know exactly what you mean and it's terrifying. I support everything the others said. They gave good insights and advices. The key with those sensations will always be acceptance. Accepting that this condition has a name : depersonalization/derealization syndrome and that it is responsible of the weird feelings and perceptions you have about your self/thought processes and the world. Accepting that you can't lose contact with reality or die from it. Don't try to rationalize the why and how you feel like that. Just tell yourself, ''ah, another dp thought/sensation'' and continue what you were doing. It is extremely hard to do that in practice when your anxiety level is very high. It will become easier with time. If you are overwhelmed and can't function properly, there's no shame to ask for an anti-anxiety medication. You might need this help to cool down first and be able to work on yourself. You don't deserve to suffer intensely every second of your life. Nobody does.

We are lucky to have each others. The amount of empathy and willingness to help I'm witnessing on this forum makes me proud of this community. @Trith I really admire your level of commitment to help people in here. You are good at reassuring and communicating the subtleties of this disorder.

Thank you, I am very happy if it can help. I also appreciate the possibility of being understood here. In my bad days it was difficult to not have that, plus the fact that people had no clue about the level of distress I was in since it was not showing. Same with the fear of being crazy, which I think was partly a fear of the level of loneliness that I thought could come as a result.