Hi, 22 year old female. I have a wonderful boyfriend, family, friends, and I feel so stuck.
About two months ago, i went to a vacation house with a group of close friends. We all took a type of LSD we had never had before, and everybody was essentially losing it. Thankfully, we all were fine the next day. Reality felt a little off, but nothing I couldnt handle. That feeling shortly went away.
It all came to a head one night when my boyfriend had a fit of rage. He's ex army, PTSD. I've seen this happen with him before, but for some reason this night was different. Maybe because we were both drunk and hes dealing with a lot in his life.
Since that night, everything has felt off. Like I'm living in a simulation. Dreams feel like reality, reality feels like a dream, and everything feels too real all the time. I dont recognize myself in a mirror. When im having a conversation with someone, I don't know how I'm talking. I dont know how im typing this right now.
My doctor prescribed me 0.5mg Xanax to combat the anxiety. It works, and it helps to combat the racing thoughts. Everything still feels off but it feels less off until the Xanax wears off.
Monday, he prescribed me Lexapro 20mg. I took it and felt immediately wrong. Heart palpitations, sweating, muscles tensing, tremors, nausea, vomiting, sensitivity to everything. Like i had taken bad ecstasy. It got to the point where I almost went to the ER to have my stomach pumped. It took around 6 hours for me to stop feeling those effects, but two days later I can feel it made the dp worse. I'm back on the Xanax now, thank God, but all I want is to feel normal and go back to being me.