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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is for the people who have free will issues and control issues. I myself have major issues with control. Just a while ago, I was walking to the back door and realized the coffee light was on and then I turned it off. I didn't really think about it, but this made me become stuck on it, the fact "I just did it" I thought what the hell, how did I know how to turn off the damn coffee pot? Super disconnected feeling. It's like anything that doesn't happen in the conscious realm can trigger me. For example, talking to me
Like for many people feels very automated which drives me insane and makes me not wanna talk. I'll be in the middle of talking to someone then suddenly think how the hell do I know what I'm saying? I'm not even hardly thinking about it! Then I will start trying to focus on every word I think and say. Which ultimately leads me the feeling that thoughts just come and go and the brain just functions so how much free will do we really have? Yeah I know we have will and can choose what to focus on but even the positive thoughts can be random so I'm like hmmmm. Just an annoying cycle, it's not bad if I'm not thinking about it but it's easy to set off my when I become aware I'm not conscious of everything I'm doing.. hyperawareness lol, it's so frustrating and debilitating because it's hard to go on to an extent when you feel everything just happens.
 

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I am the same I will be in conversation then I will realize how am I speaking, how are they speaking, how are we people, what are people, how do we exist, what is existence, and deep deep into the rabbit hole. so fucking lost. "im falling" is the only way to describe I am losing myself I am in tears this is so painful the worst challenge to any human why us WHY!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yeah man it fucking sucks. It’s tough. I feel so programmed man, like how we are just able to speak and think without like any effort really. Or how thoughts just generate from what seems nowhere. I’ve noticed it’s better when the anxiety is dialed down but I feel like I’ve convinced myself free will doesn’t exist and we are programmed beings and it’s just fucking depressing. But clearly that’s not what I want to believe or should believe if I’m feeling like this. Not bad when I’m not thinking of it or I’m active but then in the middle of any just random activity the thought will pop in”how can you do this?” Sucks
 
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