Well, perhaps after three years of hell, things might be on the up. I'm moving into an apartment today, cheap-ish rent, in the middle of the town where I work, and I can't wait. Freedom !!!! I'm so excited I can barely concentrate on my work.
They say you have to go through bad times to really appreciate the good things in life, however mundane they may sound. But getting a new job which I love, moving into my own place, silly stuff like that, really makes me feel good. Cipramil withdrawal has vanished, and I've got some benzo's just in case I freak out. All I've got left to find is some female company, and I'll be back.. I'll be back !
And I don't care who knows it. I've been through a terrific amount of shite and refused to buckle to it...and I've made it at last.
I just hope, Janine, that the self-destructiveness that lurks at the back of my mind doesn't resurface. I'm determained not to let it happen. I want to live. I want to be happy. And if I can use the same determination that I have done recently, well, you never know, the future might look rosey.
There is always hope. Always. I've been through divorce, lost my home and wife, no job, no money, living with parents, lost all my friends, the horrors of chemotherapy, and I've fought my way out to the other side. But I am NOT a strong willed man.....it's just a choice. A simple choice. What are you going to do? The only choice is to live. Once you have that tattoed on your soul, you can't lose.
I want to go to my new house now !!!! I can't wait....
They say you have to go through bad times to really appreciate the good things in life, however mundane they may sound. But getting a new job which I love, moving into my own place, silly stuff like that, really makes me feel good. Cipramil withdrawal has vanished, and I've got some benzo's just in case I freak out. All I've got left to find is some female company, and I'll be back.. I'll be back !
And I don't care who knows it. I've been through a terrific amount of shite and refused to buckle to it...and I've made it at last.
I just hope, Janine, that the self-destructiveness that lurks at the back of my mind doesn't resurface. I'm determained not to let it happen. I want to live. I want to be happy. And if I can use the same determination that I have done recently, well, you never know, the future might look rosey.
There is always hope. Always. I've been through divorce, lost my home and wife, no job, no money, living with parents, lost all my friends, the horrors of chemotherapy, and I've fought my way out to the other side. But I am NOT a strong willed man.....it's just a choice. A simple choice. What are you going to do? The only choice is to live. Once you have that tattoed on your soul, you can't lose.
I want to go to my new house now !!!! I can't wait....
