6 years and still not normal? it doesnt sound like dpdr what are your symptoms now
Synthetic weed / K2 / Spice ruined my life. How to recover?
I was tricked into smoking synthetic weed / spice / k2. I took one puff and my throat was hurting like crazy. Within one minute I started feeling nauseous.
Then my heart started pounding like crazy and I thought I was having a heart attack. I thought I was going to die that night. Then I got involuntary muscle twitches.
Then I had a frightening vision of being in a psychic ward and all I would do is cry for the rest of my life. I really felt this incredible sadness physically.
I went to the hospital where they gave my something to calm down. I did calm down but felt very off. Went back home and to sleep. The next day I felt the dp/dr, extreme panic and had EXTREME suicidal thoughts. I could not sit still anymore.
I was like the guy in the crank movie. I literally was on the run because of an intense inner restlessness. I also felt extreme hatred and anger towards mostly everyone I know and I thought this hatred would only go away if let my anger out.
I couldn't read. Just reading a tiny paragraph from the newspaper would make me nauseous. My stomach was hurting so bad too.
I also couldn't do any tasks anymore. The tiniest thing I had to do would make me panic and feel physically bad. Just having to compare two things with each other would mess me up. I could not watch tv. I could not look at trippy visuals. I could not listen to binaural sounds. It was just over stimulating my brain.
Only after I was prescribed a mix of benzos and an anti-psychotic I started calming down.
Reading peoples suggestions to just be brave, ignore it and live, then it will go away is just making me mad. I took anti-depressants through out the first 4 years, went to the gym every second day and did not touch any drugs whatsoever. Nothing helped. Only the benzo / anti-psychotic mix.
I was still not able to do the tiniest tasks without feeling this deep sense of crying. But it was so distant. I also still feel extreme anger that I do not know from myself. I still have stomach ache that I can't explain.
What really seemed to help with becoming more resilient was smoking CBD weed. For some reason it really helped so much.
Did anyone else experience something similar because of synthetic cannabinoids / spice / k2? Please share what has helped. I would say CBD was one of the best supplements I have tried. However, it's been 6 years now and I still don't feel like I used to.
How can I make this finally stop? I also did talk therapy for 4 years and EMDR therapy for 2 years. EMDR helped somewhat but it did reach its full potential I believe and it won't get me any further.
Then my heart started pounding like crazy and I thought I was having a heart attack. I thought I was going to die that night. Then I got involuntary muscle twitches.
Then I had a frightening vision of being in a psychic ward and all I would do is cry for the rest of my life. I really felt this incredible sadness physically.
I went to the hospital where they gave my something to calm down. I did calm down but felt very off. Went back home and to sleep. The next day I felt the dp/dr, extreme panic and had EXTREME suicidal thoughts. I could not sit still anymore.
I was like the guy in the crank movie. I literally was on the run because of an intense inner restlessness. I also felt extreme hatred and anger towards mostly everyone I know and I thought this hatred would only go away if let my anger out.
I couldn't read. Just reading a tiny paragraph from the newspaper would make me nauseous. My stomach was hurting so bad too.
I also couldn't do any tasks anymore. The tiniest thing I had to do would make me panic and feel physically bad. Just having to compare two things with each other would mess me up. I could not watch tv. I could not look at trippy visuals. I could not listen to binaural sounds. It was just over stimulating my brain.
Only after I was prescribed a mix of benzos and an anti-psychotic I started calming down.
Reading peoples suggestions to just be brave, ignore it and live, then it will go away is just making me mad. I took anti-depressants through out the first 4 years, went to the gym every second day and did not touch any drugs whatsoever. Nothing helped. Only the benzo / anti-psychotic mix.
I was still not able to do the tiniest tasks without feeling this deep sense of crying. But it was so distant. I also still feel extreme anger that I do not know from myself. I still have stomach ache that I can't explain.
What really seemed to help with becoming more resilient was smoking CBD weed. For some reason it really helped so much.
Did anyone else experience something similar because of synthetic cannabinoids / spice / k2? Please share what has helped. I would say CBD was one of the best supplements I have tried. However, it's been 6 years now and I still don't feel like I used to.
How can I make this finally stop? I also did talk therapy for 4 years and EMDR therapy for 2 years. EMDR helped somewhat but it did reach its full potential I believe and it won't get me any further.
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Do you mean that it can't be dpdr because it lasted 6 years?6 years and still not normal? it doesnt sound like dpdr what are your symptoms now
Yeah, synth weed (sold as incense etc but we all know what it is) can be stronger than skunk. I smoked some once and had a major freak-out.
People try to distinguish between real-life trauma and drug-induced trauma, but the subconscious doesn't. Any kind of trauma therapy that helps you focus on the here and now and feel more grounded will help.
People try to distinguish between real-life trauma and drug-induced trauma, but the subconscious doesn't. Any kind of trauma therapy that helps you focus on the here and now and feel more grounded will help.
Yes still not normal. It feels really hard for my to have organized thinking and I feel really forgetful. So regarding my symptoms I have to really sit down and think:6 years and still not normal? it doesnt sound like dpdr what are your symptoms now
- Many times I can't follow what people are saying
- Brain zaps or brain tension in combination with anxiety that I simply can't have a normal conversation because it hijacks all of my attention. I once stuck through and it took around 2-3 hours to subside. But the next time I had a social interaction in a group it returned. After I smoked the CBD it seems to have completely gone.
- When that happens my derealization gets stronger
- Tense heart
- I also got white hair strands, some white nose hair, and some white eye brows two weeks after I had the incident with the synthetic weed
- Anxiety that gets worse and worse if I'm supposed to get tasks done or think creatively
- Anxiety that gets more intense when I sit in front of the computer and do creative work (which I actually loved!). The more I try to ignore it and continue, the worse it gets.
- Disorganized thinking
- Really bad memory. I try to come up with symptoms for this list, then I have one but I brush my teeth before I write it down. When I finished brushing teeth I already forgot what the symptom was and catch myself thinking about totally different things.
- Have a hard time following a movie. I have to constantly rewind every 30 seconds or so. But then other times I can somewhat focus. Just not as well as I used to before all this happened.
- Hate towards my friends and family members who let me down and do not want to have to do anything with me because they think I am just lazy, sensitive and just making all this up
- Stomach ache or a tense stomach
- Playing chess was just impossible for me. It was so physically discomforting to analyze the chess game and what to do next. My stomach would physically hurt and signal to me that I need to stop whatever it is that I'm doing. I think that I even felt a need to cry, but I don't really remember exactly.
- When I go to sleep and wake up, my brain feel fresh and I don't seem to feel these symptoms. Only a few minutes in, everything returns.
- And probably many more things that I can't currently remember, because I don't feel them at the moment.
Now imagine smoking synthetic weed, when you actually expect the effects of normal weed. The effects that you know and enjoy. And suddenly something totally different happens to you that is so frightening that you literally think you're going to die.Yeah, synth weed (sold as incense etc but we all know what it is) can be stronger than skunk. I smoked some once and had a major freak-out.
People try to distinguish between real-life trauma and drug-induced trauma, but the subconscious doesn't. Any kind of trauma therapy that helps you focus on the here and now and feel more grounded will help.
I did EMDR trauma therapy for two years. It did help somewhat, but I still don't feel resilient enough to go work. Without any meds, there hasn't been even 24 hours where I felt completely stable. Before this happened to me, I was constantly planning things, reading new things with passion, doing things with precision, reading books, watching a movie every night. Now my feelings are all messed up. It's like as soon as I just THINK about doing something creative, or THINK about any tasks I don't have the answer to, I immediately get triggered with anxiety that paralyses me. And the more I do it, the stronger my paralysis gets. I have tried to continue for 6-7 hours until it got so extreme that I had to surrender.
It's a mind traumatised. Lashing and flailing. It helps me to focus on my breath. Old school meditation.
I have tried meditation. Unfortunately it has no calming effects. It feels like the traumatization is so extreme, that it will never recover. I also think that it was more than "just" traumatization. This vision of being in a psychic ward and just crying for the rest of my life would haunt me for years. Every tiny stressful event would trigger that exact feeling. I would have said this was psychotic? Not sure though and I think it is not there anymore after taking anti-psychotics.It's a mind traumatised. Lashing and flailing. It helps me to focus on my breath. Old school meditation.
The point of meditation is to learn that thoughts come and go and give you an anchor.
I feel like I need meditation on steroids times 5000 to calm my mind. The drug was just so incredibly intense.The point of meditation is to learn that thoughts come and go and give you an anchor.
I felt the same way after my last nervous breakdown.
This is an extreme but, unfortunately, common response to street drugs. The people advising you to live aren't suggesting that mental health problems are easy or that you should not want to get better. They're saying to live because that's the only thing there is to do apart from the obvious treatments which you already seem to be doing like staying physically active and going to a psychiatrist. In terms of quality of life it's important to remember that humans have more complex needs than plants or other animals. We can and should create external conditions that are conducive to our thriving, but there's also the dimension of meaning or purpose.
I agree with Phantasm. Your problems seem to fall not just in the category of depersonalization but in the informal category of nervous breakdown. I had the same experience, being unable to read and doing daily tasks with great difficulty. Psychotropic medication help me too, albeit to a point. Recovery was gradual, took years, and I don't think I'll ever be completely back to my old self, all of which is common in nervous breakdowns. I don't mourn for my old self, because that's in the past and he wasn't perfect either.
I agree with Phantasm. Your problems seem to fall not just in the category of depersonalization but in the informal category of nervous breakdown. I had the same experience, being unable to read and doing daily tasks with great difficulty. Psychotropic medication help me too, albeit to a point. Recovery was gradual, took years, and I don't think I'll ever be completely back to my old self, all of which is common in nervous breakdowns. I don't mourn for my old self, because that's in the past and he wasn't perfect either.
Certain types of techniques like triangle breathing or submerging in cold water have a physiological effect, so to an extent their benefits are objective.I have tried meditation. Unfortunately it has no calming effects. It feels like the traumatization is so extreme, that it will never recover. I also think that it was more than "just" traumatization. This vision of being in a psychic ward and just crying for the rest of my life would haunt me for years. Every tiny stressful event would trigger that exact feeling. I would have said this was psychotic? Not sure though and I think it is not there anymore after taking anti-psychotics.
Hi there. I don’t have the answers very unfortunately. Just read this and wanted to reply back, because this is exact I mean exact same thing happened to me. 7 years ago now, still haven’t been the same. Over the last 10/11 months I had 2 back to back severe panic attacks and they seemed to have made everything completely worse on a whole new level. Now I’m really numb to a lot? At least I think. I can only really feel anger, sadness, or fear. I miss feeling other things. I just now started back to work & it’s exhausting & really hard most every day. I’ve forced myself to “just ignore it” or keep going. And yeah, it’s possible, I get things done. But I feel the same. I feel awful, I feel broken, I feel scared, I feel lost, I feel hopeless most of all. I’m so scared this is all I’ll ever be or feel. After these years it’s truly at this point made me wonder, if the drug gave me actual brain damage that’s made this my everyday for 7 years straight. I’m not sure how to go about seeing that out though. I also want to try EDMR, I’ve heard it helps this. I’m sorry you feel this too. I wish I never smoked weed in my life, I’d take everything back to be normal again. The smell of weed can cause me to have a panic attack now. Even being near someone whose high. My life hasn’t been the same. I haven’t been the same. I’m so sorry you feel the same.
Regarding nervous breakdown:
I had dreams before this happened to me. For the first time in my life I was on my way to do something that was keeping me from going after my dreams. Everything was planned and I just had to wait for a few months to get it done. I could not wait for it to finally happen.
And then, just a few months before my dream was finally coming true, I smoked this synthetic drug which I thought was normal weed and it ruined my entire mental health and character. Then a few months later the day came where my dream finally came true, but I couldn't even enjoy it and it didn't even matter anymore, because of my severely broken mental health. I suddenly had mental health issues that prevented me from going after anything. Couldn't watch movies, couldn't sit still, couldn't read a book, couldn't look inside the tv because I would feel like I'm about to have an epileptic seizure and my stomach would physically tense up.
I went on 2 outpatient care programs, my parents have been taking care of me since 6 years, took meds, did therapy, went to the gym regularly, ate healthy. Still no improvement. How does one recover from a nervous breakdown if that really was one? I haven't had to worry about anything since 6 years. Not about jobs, not about finances. Nothing. I still tried to do stuff, but I always felt worse when trying to do things where I needed to use my brain.
Now I still have dreams, but the very first thought after I think about any dreams, is alllll of my symptoms and my anxiety and whatnot that I have that will stop me from going after them. I feel lots of anger and can't seem to focus like I used to. Before this happened to me I moved to 2 different continents by myself, to work and follow my dreams. Now, going on a holiday is too much of a hassle for me and makes me anxious. Plus I don't think that if I just go on holiday a few times the anxiety will go away. I think the extreme anxiety will stay no matter how many times I go. I don't think it will ever go away again.
I had dreams before this happened to me. For the first time in my life I was on my way to do something that was keeping me from going after my dreams. Everything was planned and I just had to wait for a few months to get it done. I could not wait for it to finally happen.
And then, just a few months before my dream was finally coming true, I smoked this synthetic drug which I thought was normal weed and it ruined my entire mental health and character. Then a few months later the day came where my dream finally came true, but I couldn't even enjoy it and it didn't even matter anymore, because of my severely broken mental health. I suddenly had mental health issues that prevented me from going after anything. Couldn't watch movies, couldn't sit still, couldn't read a book, couldn't look inside the tv because I would feel like I'm about to have an epileptic seizure and my stomach would physically tense up.
I went on 2 outpatient care programs, my parents have been taking care of me since 6 years, took meds, did therapy, went to the gym regularly, ate healthy. Still no improvement. How does one recover from a nervous breakdown if that really was one? I haven't had to worry about anything since 6 years. Not about jobs, not about finances. Nothing. I still tried to do stuff, but I always felt worse when trying to do things where I needed to use my brain.
Now I still have dreams, but the very first thought after I think about any dreams, is alllll of my symptoms and my anxiety and whatnot that I have that will stop me from going after them. I feel lots of anger and can't seem to focus like I used to. Before this happened to me I moved to 2 different continents by myself, to work and follow my dreams. Now, going on a holiday is too much of a hassle for me and makes me anxious. Plus I don't think that if I just go on holiday a few times the anxiety will go away. I think the extreme anxiety will stay no matter how many times I go. I don't think it will ever go away again.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. Did you smoke synthetic weed, or normal weed? Back when it was still fresh, and I thought that it was normal weed, also just smelling weed would cause panic for me. Have you tried taking anti-depressants? They could help with the anxiety part.Hi there. I don’t have the answers very unfortunately. Just read this and wanted to reply back, because this is exact I mean exact same thing happened to me. 7 years ago now, still haven’t been the same. Over the last 10/11 months I had 2 back to back severe panic attacks and they seemed to have made everything completely worse on a whole new level. Now I’m really numb to a lot? At least I think. I can only really feel anger, sadness, or fear. I miss feeling other things. I just now started back to work & it’s exhausting & really hard most every day. I’ve forced myself to “just ignore it” or keep going. And yeah, it’s possible, I get things done. But I feel the same. I feel awful, I feel broken, I feel scared, I feel lost, I feel hopeless most of all. I’m so scared this is all I’ll ever be or feel. After these years it’s truly at this point made me wonder, if the drug gave me actual brain damage that’s made this my everyday for 7 years straight. I’m not sure how to go about seeing that out though. I also want to try EDMR, I’ve heard it helps this. I’m sorry you feel this too. I wish I never smoked weed in my life, I’d take everything back to be normal again. The smell of weed can cause me to have a panic attack now. Even being near someone whose high. My life hasn’t been the same. I haven’t been the same. I’m so sorry you feel the same.
So the last two days I had new symptoms:
- Extreme anger that would take over my entire psyche and body. It stayed there for 2 days and then suddenly from one moment to the next stopped. Suddenly I was calm.
I just don't understand what is going on with me.
- Extreme anger that would take over my entire psyche and body. It stayed there for 2 days and then suddenly from one moment to the next stopped. Suddenly I was calm.
I just don't understand what is going on with me.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. Did you smoke synthetic weed, or normal weed? Back when it was still fresh, and I thought that it was normal weed, also just smelling weed would cause panic for me. Have you tried taking anti-depressants? They could help with the anxiety part.
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I was given spice unknowingly as well. They thought it was funny lol. I had the worst high or pretty much experience of my life. It lasted what felt like hours. I nearly called an ambulance for myself. My heart was pounding I was sure I was having a heart attack, I couldn’t calm down or breathe. My high felt so intense & scary. Wether or not my own anxiety contributed to that I’m not sure. I woke up the next day and I wasn’t feeling how I did that night, but after that it hasn’t been the same. I had derealization/depersonalization ever since. I didn’t know what it was at first, but every time it would come on strong I’d have severe panic attacks. Then they just continued and continued and here I am. The smell of weed alone or being near someone whose smoked weed can put me into a panic. It got so bad I was also unemployed recently, for 9 months. I just now am driving alone, and even then I have to have my fiancé drive me places or pick me up. I can’t go anywhere alone anymore. I can’t do a lot of things I used too. Or I don’t feel safe or comfortable or “right” doing so.I'm sorry that this happened to you. Did you smoke synthetic weed, or normal weed? Back when it was still fresh, and I thought that it was normal weed, also just smelling weed would cause panic for me. Have you tried taking anti-depressants? They could help with the anxiety part.
Whoever gave you that without telling you, because they thought it was funny, needs to be held accountable. No one in his right mind decides for another person which drugs he should take. I did a lot of research on synthetic cannabis and one day I read that if someone has just smoked it, they give them CBD weed to calm down. So I thought I'll try that even though it was many years ago. I can tell you it really helped a lot. And not only for some moment. I feel like it actually regulated something in my brain. If you can't get yourself to smoke CBD, even though it is not psycho-active, maybe you can try CBD oil instead.I was given spice unknowingly as well. They thought it was funny lol. I had the worst high or pretty much experience of my life. It lasted what felt like hours. I nearly called an ambulance for myself. My heart was pounding I was sure I was having a heart attack, I couldn’t calm down or breathe. My high felt so intense & scary. Wether or not my own anxiety contributed to that I’m not sure. I woke up the next day and I wasn’t feeling how I did that night, but after that it hasn’t been the same. I had derealization/depersonalization ever since. I didn’t know what it was at first, but every time it would come on strong I’d have severe panic attacks. Then they just continued and continued and here I am. The smell of weed alone or being near someone whose smoked weed can put me into a panic. It got so bad I was also unemployed recently, for 9 months. I just now am driving alone, and even then I have to have my fiancé drive me places or pick me up. I can’t go anywhere alone anymore. I can’t do a lot of things I used too. Or I don’t feel safe or comfortable or “right” doing so.
CBD blocks cannabinoid receptors or something like that.Whoever gave you that without telling you, because they thought it was funny, needs to be held accountable. No one in his right mind decides for another person which drugs he should take. I did a lot of research on synthetic cannabis and one day I read that if someone has just smoked it, they give them CBD weed to calm down. So I thought I'll try that even though it was many years ago. I can tell you it really helped a lot. And not only for some moment. I feel like it actually regulated something in my brain. If you can't get yourself to smoke CBD, even though it is not psycho-active, maybe you can try CBD oil instead.
I have no idea, but it really helped me with my constant panic that I had for years.
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