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Okay so I’m sitting here out for a lunch and I am gagging with anxiety at the thought that the only way to understand myself is to see that I am the person who is after my mother (seeing this in my head) and then also realising that I am that person that I’m envisioning in my head . It makes me shudder and so confusing . Can anyone else understand that level of thinking ? It’s very heady I know . But does it sound very dpish