Hi Elise, sounds familiar to me! Had a gap year and all my symptoms got loads worse before I started uni.
It's weird just how self-conscious you can become when you don't feel yourself at all! Talking to the people who know I've got DP, the thing that strikes me is the difference between my perception and theirs. When I feel horrible, think I'm making an idiot of myself etc I just seem to them a bit tired or distracted. I think it's just because people with DP are usually so tuned-in to themselves (somewhat ironically, because it feels like we're zoned out).
I got mega social anxiety a couple of years ago, even with the closest of friends and family. In fact for me it was far worse when I got it with them, because I care about them and what they think of me, as opposed to strangers. It was doubly annoying as before this I'd spent two years going from shy to outspoken. It genuinely seemed like it'd never relent and was horrible. Guess what though? It absolutely has, and basically doesn't affect me at this point.
If you're in that situation where you realise you're just focusing on your speech, that you don't know where you're going with it or that it doesn't sound like you...don't stress out. It's a habit. The worst that can happen is that you jumble your words and sound a bit flustered...Gently point your attention towards the subject, the topic not the delivery. I realised I was so shit at conversation because I wasn't paying attention to it, I was concentrating on myself.
Sorry if it seems like I'm venting, just thought it might relate!
