[jake]

Hello all my fellow troopers; Here's the latest challenge I'm not trying to ignore but I'm trying to not obsess. I have pre-tests on the 17th and then an inpatient (stuck, vulnerable, anesthesia, lack of control, all nice trigers for fear & DP) surgery on the 20th. I will be there really maybe 30-32 hours total, but ohhhh Lord, the trust and control issues are freakin me. I don't know what else to say but that I'm scared and there's not a dam thing to do but go thru with it!

I guess? I'll be very happy when I get home and know it's all over. The hospital is way across town. I've had other ortho and nero surgery inpatient morphiine pump, all that. But it was always at this hospital about 5 minutes from home till this one.

Oh well, just wanted to share. Wouldn't it be something if I got there and got all prepped and all that scary sh*t and was able to calm myself down the whole time? Prayin for a miracle!
--Jake

 

[terri*]

From now to the 20th there will be people here for you and the anxiety issues you are facing. There's been several times when the extra strength of this community has been needed to get one of us thru something. Me, most recently.

And hey, miracles do happen and it will be something if you pull yourself thru. I'm believing it can happen.

Signed,

PollyAnna terri... as long as it ain't happening to me.

 

[jake]

terri you are so dam funny, Pollyanna. Reminds me of what some guy said one time---The definition of "Minor surgery" is when it's yours and "Major" if it's mine. BTW I answered back to your reply on my "being stuck on the bridge" incident other nite. I mentioned that I had seen ppl supporting you though I didnt know waht was going on with you, something medical. So are you ok? Did whatever it was turn out ok or too soon to tell>
?
You are very brave though and here is a Giant Lollipop from me to you,
---Jake

 

[Martinelv]

Good luck mate. You'll do fine.

 

[Dreamland]

You'll be fine! I had minor outpatient surgery two years ago during the height of my DP....no anesthesia, just local. But they still make you wait in the prep area with all the other people who are high as a kite due to pre-surgery meds, and with patients who just came out of surgery. Speaking of fighting a panic attack and trying to control your heart rate when they're wheeling you into the operating room fully conscious with the medical staff all dressed like Darth Vader. I wish I had some benzo's, but it only lasted about twenty minutes.

 

[jake]

I appreciate alot that you all support me. It's so frekin hard to even go to a doc visit these past many many months of panic. I saw one today who is wanting more bloodwork but I'll do it this time alot sooner and not procrastiate.---I think he is onto something with this thyroid, dhea, cortisol stuff. I told him its as if someone switched on my adrenaline and 'fight or flight' response and broke the knob off.

I told him about DP (he is an endocronologist) and he was real open minded and cool about it.

The upcoming surgery isn't related to this its just one more scary thing considering how I feel. (overwhelmed most days with anxiety and some weird sadness, blahhh).

Again guys and dolls, your responses, and sharing your own experiences were a real comfort. And brought a couple smiles.
my best to you,
---Jake