[Inflammed]

Have you ever been afraid of the total deconnection ?
I mean that the DP-DR gets so severe that you'll be present in yourself 0.5% ?
That the only remaining faculty would be your sight, the total dissociation...

I'm asking that 'caus yesterday it kinda happened to me and it was horrific.
I was getting alot better since a few months, and out of nowhere, I had a extremely severe attack of DRDR, I never had attacks of it before, only panic attacks, it felt like a panic attack but with the symptoms of DPDR raising above the supportable limit.
My whole body was shaking, I was so cold, incoherent, lost in space, total confusion.
It lasted 2 hours, pure hell, I could not feel my entire body, mouth was dry, could not use my muscles, I was seeing my surrounding like only a small rectangle, 10% of my standart vision sight.
I'm still shaking from that episode, feel toatlly drained.
Is there a DPDR attack ?

After 10 years of DP-DR, it got worse, my worst nightmare has happened.

 

[bat]

hi inflammed

it sounds like for some reason your brain flicked into chronic dp for a while. i have experienced this level when i basically didn't exist and the memory of it, let alone the reality, still haunts me ten years later.

try and take time to rest your mind (sleep, massage, whatever relaxes you) and don't dwell on the 'episode'. when your mind starts to remember and analyse force it to think of something else as soon as you realise.

is there something that may have triggered it (change of meds/diet/routine/stress)?

don't panic about it recurriing as most likely it won't. also as you said it was your worst nightmare and you have faced and survived it.

take care

 

[Inflammed]

Thank you for your wise words Pdr, it's reassuring to know that you had the same kind of *episode*.

There was no drastic change in my lifestyle, except lack of sleep, wich I suspect didnt help at all, I'm still very exhausted.
I think that what happened was a long term lack of sleep, I didnt eat very either that day and a kinda very intense DPDR mixed with a panic attack.
That was a deadly cocktail :?

And yes you're right, it was my worst nightmare and I survived it.
My body is still in shock 24hrs after, I'm so tired, I went to see a psych today just to get his advice to be sure of what it could be, might have been physical too, I felt like it was something I ate that didnt pass, but they say that It's probably my anxiety (DP/DR) that expressed in a different form.

The psych himself said that sometimes, DPDR feels almost like somthing Religious, an event so impressive that it feels that Heaven's (or Hell) is down on you !
That was the only extremely nice and open minded psych I ever saw.
Thanks again Pdr.

 

[Guest]

hey man...call my cell phone when you have these things!!!

 

[Dreamer]

There was no drastic change in my lifestyle, except lack of sleep, wich I suspect didnt help at all, I'm still very exhausted.
I think that what happened was a long term lack of sleep, I didnt eat very either that day and a kinda very intense DPDR mixed with a panic attack.
That was a deadly cocktail

Dear Inflammed,
I can identify though I knock wood that it seems these terrible episodes have recently occurred less.

Whenever I've had a terrible episode as you describe, being .0000005% still there, which is awful -- a fear of completely disappearing, yet being conscious -- there is always a variable.

You said, "there was no drastic change in my lifestyle except....."

....well, I always find "the variable" in my cases. It's what I call being out of homeostasis. Our "disorder"/"condition" whatever leaves us more sensitive to changes in body balance. I'm not talking mumbo jumbo here. Um, what I mean is stress for us, of any kind, I believe is magnified, and can intensify our anxiety/DP/DR.

One of the most horrendous episodes of my life, I will never forget happened when I was seriously ill with some awful bronchitis. A physical illness made the DP/DR so inconceivably bad, I thought, "Well, this is it, cart me away, as I can't move, talk, etc., etc."

It passed. And what always helps me in the middle of this crap is "what is the variable?" Am I physically ill?, is it PMS?, did I get enough sleep?, too much sleep?, too much caffeine?, is there a stressful event I'm brooding over? I have been able to pinpoint the cause in every case.

I know it doesn't help at the time, but even at the time, try to grab on to that thought, if you can. That something in the real world led to this state, and this will pass. There IS a real world out there, and you're real, etc.

Glad you're feeling better.

As I get older I've had to ditch the occasional glass of wine... literally the occasional glass, I'm quitting caffeine now completely, I'm getting on a more normal schedule. Forcing myself out.

I guess all I'm saying is, I understand, but strangely, I'm glad YOU understand. Makes ME feel less alone.

Take Care,
D
A longtimer, still here..... hangin' in....

 

[Martinelv]

Yes, I have had this fleetingly...for about 10 minutes, once or twice...during my worst DR/DP episode ever. Needless to say, I was hungover, and I had a major panic and suddenly I felt like I had completely lost 'myself'....totally. The DR made the world around me completely alien, and worse - DP struck and I had no 'self' to fall back on. I was literally a drooling wreck, with no idea who I was or where I was, no thoughts, no hope, nothing, except, with ironic bastardisation, the only emotion or feeling I had left...terror....pure, ice cold, unrelenting terror. Without doubt the most horrific experience of my life.

It's an evil almost beyond comprehension.