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Suicide.

2075 Views 13 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  Chicane
I can't live with this. It's really hard. 5 years of my Life that Will Never come back, and a lot of future years that Will be horrible. I Just want a Little bit of hope but It seems that there is nothing that Can cure do and dr. I am very suicidal, i don't want to live my Life with this. I Just want a cure... I would go everywhere... Sorry, i'm very depressed.
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Unfortunately what i'm about to say will rub some people the wrong way but it is my true story.

I have been there, after the meds, after being in and out of hospital, after countless months searching for the answer and getting no where, I felt it.
I felt the sudden brick wall that smacks you in the face and says there's only one way out of the pain now!

In that moment it could have went very bad for my family if i had done it, and imagining them finding out I had done it completely shattered my heart into pieces.

At that moment when I couldn't be any lower, I found God.
I was never religious, I didn't even know how to be. I thought religion is embarrassing now a days but something was definitely there telling me that it wanted to help me.
I said in my head God how could it be you, I've never even bothered to consider you in my life, If i believe in you now I would just be using you to get out of this!
and when I said that the feeling of pure relief came over me, not a euphoric feeling but the feeling of weight being lifted.
I was hooked by something. I started going to church every sunday, then every sunday and wednesday. and eventually the pastor told me that god finds people in there weakest, rawest state, and when you doubt that he would want to help you is when he does.

Few months later I now try and help people with dp instead of asking for help!
Reason? - I'm Cured
I dont believe in god. Religion was created by our ancestor to explain things when science didnt exist. I am an atheist-marxist-leninist-maoist anti-clerical. I believe in science, not in magic fantastic men with superpowers.
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Science? science didn't take me out of dp and it clearly hasn't taken you.

you've been struggling to find an answer for 5 years because your relying on science.
what does science know about dp?
there's no meds to cure it, no therapy, no program or adaption. nothing!

if you were truly depress your stubborn-ness would have subsided and you would have been open to any idea just like what happened to me,
if you read what I said I didn't give 2 F***'s about god before but I was in such a bad place that I NEEDED something, even just for hope.
I tried god too. No answers.
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