I can't live with this. It's really hard. 5 years of my Life that Will Never come back, and a lot of future years that Will be horrible. I Just want a Little bit of hope but It seems that there is nothing that Can cure do and dr. I am very suicidal, i don't want to live my Life with this. I Just want a cure... I would go everywhere... Sorry, i'm very depressed.
Suicide.
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174 Posts
You and I both
Future is unpredictable, drop all your beliefs, thoughts, concepts of future and past for once and just BE present.
Unfortunately what i'm about to say will rub some people the wrong way but it is my true story.
I have been there, after the meds, after being in and out of hospital, after countless months searching for the answer and getting no where, I felt it.
I felt the sudden brick wall that smacks you in the face and says there's only one way out of the pain now!
In that moment it could have went very bad for my family if i had done it, and imagining them finding out I had done it completely shattered my heart into pieces.
At that moment when I couldn't be any lower, I found God.
I was never religious, I didn't even know how to be. I thought religion is embarrassing now a days but something was definitely there telling me that it wanted to help me.
I said in my head God how could it be you, I've never even bothered to consider you in my life, If i believe in you now I would just be using you to get out of this!
and when I said that the feeling of pure relief came over me, not a euphoric feeling but the feeling of weight being lifted.
I was hooked by something. I started going to church every sunday, then every sunday and wednesday. and eventually the pastor told me that god finds people in there weakest, rawest state, and when you doubt that he would want to help you is when he does.
Few months later I now try and help people with dp instead of asking for help!
Reason? - I'm Cured
I have been there, after the meds, after being in and out of hospital, after countless months searching for the answer and getting no where, I felt it.
I felt the sudden brick wall that smacks you in the face and says there's only one way out of the pain now!
In that moment it could have went very bad for my family if i had done it, and imagining them finding out I had done it completely shattered my heart into pieces.
At that moment when I couldn't be any lower, I found God.
I was never religious, I didn't even know how to be. I thought religion is embarrassing now a days but something was definitely there telling me that it wanted to help me.
I said in my head God how could it be you, I've never even bothered to consider you in my life, If i believe in you now I would just be using you to get out of this!
and when I said that the feeling of pure relief came over me, not a euphoric feeling but the feeling of weight being lifted.
I was hooked by something. I started going to church every sunday, then every sunday and wednesday. and eventually the pastor told me that god finds people in there weakest, rawest state, and when you doubt that he would want to help you is when he does.
Few months later I now try and help people with dp instead of asking for help!
Reason? - I'm Cured
I dont believe in god. Religion was created by our ancestor to explain things when science didnt exist. I am an atheist-marxist-leninist-maoist anti-clerical. I believe in science, not in magic fantastic men with superpowers.
Science? science didn't take me out of dp and it clearly hasn't taken you.
you've been struggling to find an answer for 5 years because your relying on science.
what does science know about dp?
there's no meds to cure it, no therapy, no program or adaption. nothing!
if you were truly depress your stubborn-ness would have subsided and you would have been open to any idea just like what happened to me,
if you read what I said I didn't give 2 F***'s about god before but I was in such a bad place that I NEEDED something, even just for hope.
you've been struggling to find an answer for 5 years because your relying on science.
what does science know about dp?
there's no meds to cure it, no therapy, no program or adaption. nothing!
if you were truly depress your stubborn-ness would have subsided and you would have been open to any idea just like what happened to me,
if you read what I said I didn't give 2 F***'s about god before but I was in such a bad place that I NEEDED something, even just for hope.
I tried god too. No answers.
Believe this or not but please don't disrespect other peoples belief.
You need to have faith, I'm sure you've noticed how s**t life is?
Well, that's the whole point. we are supposed to doubt god, were supposed to think science has disprove him.
We are supposed to go through the negative things in life that make him seem a fantasy
because when your in the worst place you could imagine, farthest from all hope.
If you still have faith and call on him in the depths of hopelessness. Then, you will be saved.
but don't stop. because you will be tempted to believe otherwise, trust me i've been there.
You need to have faith, I'm sure you've noticed how s**t life is?
Well, that's the whole point. we are supposed to doubt god, were supposed to think science has disprove him.
We are supposed to go through the negative things in life that make him seem a fantasy
because when your in the worst place you could imagine, farthest from all hope.
If you still have faith and call on him in the depths of hopelessness. Then, you will be saved.
but don't stop. because you will be tempted to believe otherwise, trust me i've been there.
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1,763 Posts
You cant prove there is a God / Just like I cant prove there isnt a God....
The truth is nobody knows the truth about God..........
Now science / Thats different / Cos science is based on fact and can be proved...Unfortunately science hasnt yet discovered the true cure for this crap...
If faith worked stick with it / If science works stick with that.........
EACH TO HIS OWN when it comes to getting out of this hell hole!
The truth is nobody knows the truth about God..........
Now science / Thats different / Cos science is based on fact and can be proved...Unfortunately science hasnt yet discovered the true cure for this crap...
If faith worked stick with it / If science works stick with that.........
EACH TO HIS OWN when it comes to getting out of this hell hole!
I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to Bible bash anyone but this is just my story.
I remember being in the state of complete fear trying desperately to find an answer,
I knew there was no answer in science, no pills, nothing. (YET!)
Everyone was just "accepting it" or some s**t
So I decided, they may be an answer, it may or may not work I don't know
but right now science definitely doesn't work so I can only give it a go.
I remember being in the state of complete fear trying desperately to find an answer,
I knew there was no answer in science, no pills, nothing. (YET!)
Everyone was just "accepting it" or some s**t
So I decided, they may be an answer, it may or may not work I don't know
but right now science definitely doesn't work so I can only give it a go.
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140 Posts
Let me tell you this.
God is cruel, to create such a psychiatric disorder.
You'll tell me, he created it and chose certain people to suffer from it, for their own benefit, right!!! Because God always work in mysterious ways, right. This is the same rhetorical sentence people use as their winning card to explain anything that isn't explainable.
Well, I'll tell you this. Don't start shit from the very beginning. Case closed. But, to throw me in a maze, waiting for me to find the way out, only after that to say "oh god, I've gained wisdom and more appreciation for the things I took for granted. Oh lord, thank you for blessing me with this horrible experience to make me a loving better person. Because God works in mysterious ways.
DON'T THROW ME IN THE MAZE IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO NOTHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN. BUT TO CLAME THAT HE HAS A PLAN FOR US AND THIS DISORDER AT THE END IS FOR OUR own BENEFIT!!!
I have a claim then that God is no different than jigsaw from saw movie. At least jigsaw is a human, an imperfect creature. While God, THE ALMIGHTY, creates creatures and fuck them up with numerous illnesses, to toy with them. He's no different than the most worst horrific psychopath in that context.
By the way I'm agnostic. I just wanted to clarify how much contradictory issues and paradoxes you would have if you referred to God, as the solution.
God is cruel, to create such a psychiatric disorder.
You'll tell me, he created it and chose certain people to suffer from it, for their own benefit, right!!! Because God always work in mysterious ways, right. This is the same rhetorical sentence people use as their winning card to explain anything that isn't explainable.
Well, I'll tell you this. Don't start shit from the very beginning. Case closed. But, to throw me in a maze, waiting for me to find the way out, only after that to say "oh god, I've gained wisdom and more appreciation for the things I took for granted. Oh lord, thank you for blessing me with this horrible experience to make me a loving better person. Because God works in mysterious ways.
DON'T THROW ME IN THE MAZE IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO NOTHING BAD WOULD HAPPEN. BUT TO CLAME THAT HE HAS A PLAN FOR US AND THIS DISORDER AT THE END IS FOR OUR own BENEFIT!!!
I have a claim then that God is no different than jigsaw from saw movie. At least jigsaw is a human, an imperfect creature. While God, THE ALMIGHTY, creates creatures and fuck them up with numerous illnesses, to toy with them. He's no different than the most worst horrific psychopath in that context.
By the way I'm agnostic. I just wanted to clarify how much contradictory issues and paradoxes you would have if you referred to God, as the solution.
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1,763 Posts
What is really needed is more open mindedness from everybody about individual personal beliefs...Live and let live as the saying goes....
Completely shutting off and discarding someone elses personal beliefs is actually a form of racism and bigotry...Its probably the main reason there is so much war and animosity towards each other in the world...Not only amongst different races and cultures but amongst friends and family...
Catholics have battled with protestants for years here in Ireland....The black v white slavery issue in the USA....Agnostics v Higher Power Believers....Gay v Straight people.....The list goes on and on.......
What we actually all need to do is start minding our own damn business and keeping our own side of the street clean...
Completely shutting off and discarding someone elses personal beliefs is actually a form of racism and bigotry...Its probably the main reason there is so much war and animosity towards each other in the world...Not only amongst different races and cultures but amongst friends and family...
Catholics have battled with protestants for years here in Ireland....The black v white slavery issue in the USA....Agnostics v Higher Power Believers....Gay v Straight people.....The list goes on and on.......
What we actually all need to do is start minding our own damn business and keeping our own side of the street clean...
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180 Posts
I respect and think everyone has the right to their own beliefs. There is much undiscovered, and one day we may have the answers. Personally before all this. I was very much in the science camp, that there is a scientific explanation for everything.
Now, (and this may be because I am confused and can't think properly) I sometimes don't even believe scientific explanations for things. Things such as radio waves, electricity, all sorts seem too impossible to be true to me.
I still feel like I tend to lean towards not believing in god, but will say this. In my opinion, if there is a god, he or she is a cruel god who does not deserve to be worshipped. It's what I never understand about terrorists and the like, if you truly believe that god wants you to kill people, why would you listen to him? A god that tells you to destroy somebody else's life is a dick. Just like a god who creates cancer and whatever the fuck is happening in my head, would be a total dick.
So either way, the world is cruel.
Now, (and this may be because I am confused and can't think properly) I sometimes don't even believe scientific explanations for things. Things such as radio waves, electricity, all sorts seem too impossible to be true to me.
I still feel like I tend to lean towards not believing in god, but will say this. In my opinion, if there is a god, he or she is a cruel god who does not deserve to be worshipped. It's what I never understand about terrorists and the like, if you truly believe that god wants you to kill people, why would you listen to him? A god that tells you to destroy somebody else's life is a dick. Just like a god who creates cancer and whatever the fuck is happening in my head, would be a total dick.
So either way, the world is cruel.
One theory that exists is that which states we are spiritual beings who incarnate as humans time and time again in order to grow and experience certain things (ultimately everything) in order to achieve a more enlightened state. Acts of love, altruism and empathy, as well as enduring hardships are supposedly some of the fastest ways of getting there. The theory states that we volunteer to have a human experience in what's known as a life contract whereby we're tied to a certain body or life for the duration of an incarnation in order to overcome whatever we struggle with most. Whether there's anything to all of this I don't know, but it could explain why life is difficult/cruel. Many religions also preach the virtues of suffering. We do live in a pretty nihilistic society and time period, but I wouldn't necessarily rule out any of the above on principle. I know it's tempting to shit on anything that's unscientific and that people are generally terrified of being seen as naive or airy fairy, but I do sometimes find that I almost need to believe in a greater goal for all the suffering I go through. I'd hate to think it was all for nothing.
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